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First date/Meeting(LONG)


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Posted

I'm a 21 year old male from calgary alberta.

 

I am 6"2 195lbs great looking guy. I'm alittle chubby but it has never held me back from dating alot of very attractive women. Ever since i was 16 i have had a girlfriend and i was miserable.... Up until a year ago where i stop and said "This is enough! I'm dating all these women but can never find the right one because I don't know what i want!"

 

I took some time away from dating and i pretty much selected qualities that i require in a girl and qualities i would like in a girl and ofcourse qualities i cannot have in a girl. The process took awhile but after many nights staying up wondering if the right girl is out there for me, I've come to the conclusion that she is.

 

Now I'm a very caring guy, I love to take care of people. I love being part of peoples support systems, I'm dependable and i'm a great listener. I am however overprotective and a tad jealous.

 

I said that the girl for me will be Shy, Soft spoken, but inside is very loving and is just waiting for her knight to come and take her away.

 

So here comes the Point of my post,

 

I was at a party after a hockey game and i catch this girl across the room talking to a few of her girlfriends, she's about 5"1 not more than 100lbs. Very petite girl. Her beauty took my breathe away! I did not get a chance to talk to her that night but i asked my friend who was hosting the party who she was and her name was dani, Short for danielle. what a cute name! Aww.

So i got her number after calling several people and eventually we got onto MSN messenger and talked for a few days on there.

 

I'm getting mixed signals from her, She appears to have low self confidence.Sometimes she comes off as liking me and then she comes off as standoffish. My friends tell me, Alot of guys say they like her then after dating for a day or two they break up with her because she is really shy and lacks self esteem. So I can't blame her for having problems expressing herself. She doesn't see herself as the beautiful young lady as i do.

 

I'm meeting her for the first time monday after work, We are going out for coffee. Now my question is how should i go about this?

 

She is very shy, Lacks self esteem and is alittle nervous because she thinks i'll turn out like the other guys.

 

Should i offer a handshake? Or just a touch on the shoulder? I know a hug would make her feel far to uncomfortable. Any thing i should do to make her feel Less shy or make her feel like i'm interested in her?

 

My plan, was get in the parking lot before her and When she pulls up in her car walk over, Open her door, grab her hand and help her out and introduce myself. Maintain Eye contact, Tell her she looks cute(I KNOW SHE WILL), And Make her talk about herself.

 

The way she describes herself and her friends describe her is exactly my list on the perfect girl for me. However her list on a perfect guy is alittle off.

 

Her list -

 

Smart - CHECK

Good listener - CHECK

Loves to cuddle - BIG CHECK

Dependable - CHECK

Rough looking but sweet on the inside - I've been told i look like Justin timberlake and nick carter, so you can imagine how big of a miss this is :(

 

 

I don't know if she's attracted to me, i never asked but I sent her pics and we talk on webcam but no comment on this.

Posted

I'm sure it will go great. Dont worry so much

 

I did pick up on some ego in your post...and stuff about finding a weak girl that you can swoop in and rescue since youre so wonderful or something.....

 

sorry, this isnt reading very nicely.....

 

but really, you seem to be looking for someone who's inferior to you. Am I wrong?? Was it just your wording that struck suspicion in me??

Posted

No handshakes, touches on the shoulder, or hugs. This is just a cup of coffee with someone you've never met in person (if I understand you correctly). Focus on light conversation and humor. But don't touch her. Instead, watch to see if she touches you. Watch to see if she touches your arm and giggles when you say something funny. This will tell you if she's interested in you. Don't worry about trying to make her feel like you're interested in her. She already knows you are, because you went to effort of doing some detective work to find her, and invited her out for coffee. And, scratch walking over to her car and opening her door when she arrives. It will look like you're trying too hard to impress her, and it might make her a bit uncomfortable.

 

A few other suggestions. Keep it relatively short; definitely under an hour. Make sure that you are the one who ends the date. Don't say anything about a second date, or the future in general. This is just going to be a fun cup of coffee. At the end of the date, you want her to be thinking to herself, "I had a really good time; he was cool; I wonder if he'll call again."

 

Additionally, stay off the MSN with her. It's anti-challenge. Save the chatting for the coffee date!

 

Good luck!!

  • Author
Posted
I'm sure it will go great. Dont worry so much

 

I did pick up on some ego in your post...and stuff about finding a weak girl that you can swoop in and rescue since youre so wonderful or something.....

 

sorry, this isnt reading very nicely.....

 

but really, you seem to be looking for someone who's inferior to you. Am I wrong?? Was it just your wording that struck suspicion in me??

 

I'm sure it will go great. Dont worry so much

 

I did pick up on some ego in your post...and stuff about finding a weak girl that you can swoop in and rescue since youre so wonderful or something.....

 

sorry, this isnt reading very nicely.....

 

but really, you seem to be looking for someone who's inferior to you. Am I wrong?? Was it just your wording that struck suspicion in me??

 

 

I am wonderful or something.

 

Inferior to me? In my opinion , Everyone is inferior to me. I'm a awesome person! I donated 4,500 this year to charities. I went to the childrens hospital on christmas day to hand out gifts to the kids. How many people can say they've done as much or more. I've never cheat on a girl, I have never hit a girl, Noone has ever accused me as being uncaring or cruel.

 

I love myself, I love life, I feel my time in this world means nothing unless i help people. I'm not a selfish person at all. Forgive me for noticing the obvious that I am in fact Superior to mast majority! I give blood, I volunteer at animal shelters,drop in centers. Amoung many other facilities that help out the less fortunate.

 

Why do i do it? because It makes me feel godly! Call me a ego maniac or whatever but until you can do half the stuff i do, you're just jealous. People like me give hope to the less fortunate.

 

I love feeling needed and special! Maybe that's why i volunteer! to feel like people need me so i don't feel like a total loser! WOW hows that for a psychological analysis! PERHAPS i'm the less fortunate one in this scenario not the other way around! THE HOMELESS AND SICK CHILDREN ARE HELPING ME! Right. Spare me this hippy Psycho bable.

 

bottom line! I help more people in a year than people will in a lifetime. I treat people in my lives PERFECTLY. I am loving, Caring ,supportive and Strong.

I AM THE ALPHA MALE!

 

I'm sick of ugly women trying to belittle me. I'm a god amoungst men! TRUE AND FACT! You don't believe me come to calgary and look me up! I'll show you the golden heart i have in my chest. I'm great, I'm good looking, i'm giving, I'm THERE. I"M PERFECT!

 

I'm just that damn good. Call it a ego but i call it the FACTS

Posted

well....I know one thing I do better than you....SPELL

 

Also, how does a person say they have a golden heart right after they've called me ugly? Its my belief that you are none of the aforementioned.

 

 

edit to add: HAHAHA...I just realized your major problem...it lies within your screenname

Posted

bah hes a typical jock, but without the sports involvement or the achievements

 

hope i see you at the car wash sometime you seem like a cool person to talk to, well someone to talk to while waitin for you to finish washing my car that is.

Posted

:lmao: A couple of inches taller and I would have sworn you were my exbf.

 

You're just looking for someone you can control and someone who is shy with low self esteem is your perfect victim. Go for it, you'll run her over like a freight train.

Posted
I am wonderful or something.

 

Inferior to me? In my opinion , Everyone is inferior to me. I'm a awesome person! I donated 4,500 this year to charities. I went to the childrens hospital on christmas day to hand out gifts to the kids. How many people can say they've done as much or more. I've never cheat on a girl, I have never hit a girl, Noone has ever accused me as being uncaring or cruel.

 

I love myself, I love life, I feel my time in this world means nothing unless i help people. I'm not a selfish person at all. Forgive me for noticing the obvious that I am in fact Superior to mast majority! I give blood, I volunteer at animal shelters,drop in centers. Amoung many other facilities that help out the less fortunate.

 

Why do i do it? because It makes me feel godly! Call me a ego maniac or whatever but until you can do half the stuff i do, you're just jealous. People like me give hope to the less fortunate.

 

I love feeling needed and special! Maybe that's why i volunteer! to feel like people need me so i don't feel like a total loser! WOW hows that for a psychological analysis! PERHAPS i'm the less fortunate one in this scenario not the other way around! THE HOMELESS AND SICK CHILDREN ARE HELPING ME! Right. Spare me this hippy Psycho bable.

 

bottom line! I help more people in a year than people will in a lifetime. I treat people in my lives PERFECTLY. I am loving, Caring ,supportive and Strong.

I AM THE ALPHA MALE!

 

I'm sick of ugly women trying to belittle me. I'm a god amoungst men! TRUE AND FACT! You don't believe me come to calgary and look me up! I'll show you the golden heart i have in my chest. I'm great, I'm good looking, i'm giving, I'm THERE. I"M PERFECT!

 

I'm just that damn good. Call it a ego but i call it the FACTS

 

coming up next: how i turned water into wine, something the inferiors can't do :lmao:

Posted

This is a funny thread to me...b/c when I first responded I wasnt totally sure that the things I picked up on were accurate.....

 

we have since seen that Kat23 is in fact psychic/intuitive/GENIOUS.....perhaps even better than the Mama's Boy

  • Like 1
Posted

Inferior to me? In my opinion , Everyone is inferior to me.

 

Sure buddy. Keep the ego in check.

 

Call me a ego maniac or whatever but until you can do half the stuff i do, you're just jealous.

 

Ya that must be it...people saying you have a big ego are just jealous :rolleyes:

 

I'll be the first one to call this thread a troll post - or atleast I hope it is.

Posted

well im 17 and i dated alot of hott gurls. but always i have a good relationship. but there wuz 1 problem everytime. i dont no wut to say on the phone. when the gurl call me its always blank. i jus dont no wut to say? but if anybody out there cud help me will u reply

Posted

make a thread about it, its better and you'll get more replies then just replying in a post that has nothing to do with your problem

Posted

To the person who gave me a negative reputation point saying,

 

"you spelled genius wrong, slick"

 

Thanks for pointing out the obvious irony of my post......

 

why do you think I put that word in all caps, SLICK

  • Like 1
Posted

Oh people, don't be so hard on him. He's young and there's nothing wrong with having confidence.

 

If your date is shy, she probably will not touch you. If she moves even a little closer to you, and something funny is said, it's ok to reach out and touch her arm as you laugh.

 

I agree to avoid making a second date, leave her wondering if you'll call. Either way DO call her again. I wish you the best.

habeebah_leena
Posted

for the sake of humanity, have you ever tried to empathize with these people that you volunteer for? before you go screwing up this insecure girl's life, why don't you reexamine your own first. your motives seem pretty wacked out.

Posted

Dude "a god among men"

 

I'm from Calgary....Alberta i assume.......can i get that name to look up in the phone book? I must meet such a divine piece of god's creation from my own town

 

-Jay

Posted

Dang.. You sound like a sociopath...

 

Do these fit you?

 

Glibness/superficial charm

Grandiose sense of self-worth - YES

Pathological lying

Cunning/manipulative

Lack of remorse or guilt

Shallow affect

Callous/lack of empathy

Failure to accept responsibility for own actions

Need for stimulation/proneness to boredom

Parasitic lifestyle

Poor behavioral controls

Early behavioral problems

Lack of realistic, long-term goals

Impulsivity

Irresponsibility

Juvenile delinquency

 

 

You should come with a warning label.

Posted

Not that you'll see this... but you've left no room for you to ever be wrong in anything. Which means, all others are wrong, but not you. If this is truly how you feel, you are destined to live a very solitary, very hard life. If you are always right, you'll never be wrong. But we are always wrong sometime.

 

Unfortunately, you'll probably get a girl. She'll think you're cool, but after a while (if your not a psycho serial killer) she'll realize that it's not her... that it's you who can't change, can't see her side, can't understand, or empathize with her... and she'll leave too.

 

and then you'll tell everyone she was a psycho bytch and she didn't deserve to be with you, yet you'll feel inferior, some how less. And you'll get angrier and angrier at women. And you'll crawl deeper and deeper into yourself. Telling yourself that you are god, that everyone else is inferior, stupid, not worth being alive. Only you are great...

 

Time will pass and the anger will build and this time when a woman scorns you, or dumps you, you won't stop... she's no one anyway. And you'll intimadate her until she stays, or you'll crush her. She can't leave you, because you are great, you are god, and she is just a pathetic no one.

 

John Wayne Gacy: "...dressing as a clown and entertaining children at local hospitals and immersing himself in organizations such as the Jaycees, working to make his community a better place to live. People who knew Gacy thought of him as a generous, friendly and hard-working man, devoted to his family and community."

Posted

Walk....I really love your posts here. My Ex-H was just like that....a total narcissist abusive sociopathic a$$. Thank god I woke up and left him after the abuse got worse....he grabbed my neck (2nd time) after blowing up about a thermometer, saying that he's not stupid and he knows what he's doing....the day after I had surgery to put a plate on my collarbone. Then he immediately tried to twist the story saying that he did it after I dug my nails into his arm (which I actually did to get him off my neck)...pathetic attempt to put blame on everyone else like always! That was the last straw for me!

 

He never could STAND it that I didnt gawk amazed at his god-like know-it-all presence, or that I didnt let him get away w/ his $h!t. But his mommy sure does praise him. And everyone thinks he's a wonderful person.

 

So, I think youre absolutely correct as to what path THIS MAMA's BOY is headed down!!!

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