Author notyouraveragebabe Posted May 26 Author Share Posted May 26 23 hours ago, Gebidozo said: Do you understand that those two sentences contradict each other? Great relationships don’t end with text breakups. Look, what you said to him was harsh, mean, and hurtful. He had every right to be mad, to sulk, to want to be alone for a while, anything. But breaking up over that? And not even responding to a sincere apology? Seriously? Either he is a complete crybaby, or you’ve hurt him before like that multiple times, and this was the last straw. In either case, I think you should start accepting that it’s over. And work on being kinder to your romantic partners in the future. I think this was my third time lashing out he wanted a change Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author notyouraveragebabe Posted May 26 Author Share Posted May 26 2 hours ago, basil67 said: No, never. We've been together over 30 years. We certainly bicker and have had words about how the behaviour of one has affected the other, but we stay on topic and never use insults. I would forgive insults if I'd done something really vile, but name calling after a disagreement about soup portions early in a relationship? Hell no, I'd be out of there. If that's how they react after a soup incident, how are they going to react if I crash the car? 😬 As for the OP, in her first post she said "We would fight, and especially on vacations. Things were said that couldn’t have been taking back, but we seem to get through all the fights until this last one" and also " you guys are correct I have lashed out before, but not to this extent. He thought I would change, he mentioned I haven’t changed on another occasion". And this is all in the space of less than a year. Wow. I needed to hear this Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author notyouraveragebabe Posted May 26 Author Share Posted May 26 On 5/24/2024 at 8:30 PM, Gebidozo said: OP, it’s unknown whether he’ll come back or not. But the question you should be asking yourself is not that. Instead, please ask yourself these three questions: 1) Do you really want to be together with a person who breaks up with you over stupid words you said during an idiotic fight? 2) Did you really love this person, to whom you said such hurtful words without a much provocation at all? 3) Was this relationship really that good if you fought so much? Some great questions. I’m reflecting now. But need time to make this decision. A week isn’t enough time. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted May 26 Share Posted May 26 This isn't about the dang soup. It's about built-up resentment and a relationship that doesn't work. The Great Soup Event was simply the catalyst to end something that wasn't functional anymore. He was unhappy, you were unhappy. Your words hurt him too much this time, and he's done. But it would have ended anyway. No soup for you. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 26 Share Posted May 26 4 hours ago, notyouraveragebabe said: Some great questions. I’m reflecting now. But need time to make this decision. A week isn’t enough time. Sweetie, reflection is a great thing, but the decision is already made 1 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author notyouraveragebabe Posted May 26 Author Share Posted May 26 3 hours ago, basil67 said: Sweetie, reflection is a great thing, but the decision is already made He still hasn’t replied….. its been 6 days Quote Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted May 26 Share Posted May 26 2 hours ago, notyouraveragebabe said: He still hasn’t replied….. its been 6 days He has turned the page ☹️☹️☹️ 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 26 Share Posted May 26 11 hours ago, notyouraveragebabe said: He still hasn’t replied….. its been 6 days He'd already broken up with you....there's no reason for him to respond 1 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author notyouraveragebabe Posted May 26 Author Share Posted May 26 (edited) Thank you everyone for your support. I really needed to vent and hear some feedback. I was breaking down inside. Haven’t had a moment to cry, been on a work trip with my boss glued to my waist and being micromanaged all damn day. I wish I have my bf for support. this hurts so much. his apt is filled with mostly my things. I basically lived there. He needs to return it soon. I don’t want to ask yet Edited May 26 by notyouraveragebabe Quote Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 26 Share Posted May 26 @notyouraveragebabe While there is no need for him to discuss the breakup with you, he will need to respond regarding giving your stuff back. Have you sent a message simply saying that you need to organise getting your things from him? Suggest that he could put it in a box for your collection - or have it delivered to you Quote Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 1 hour ago, basil67 said: @notyouraveragebabe While there is no need for him to discuss the breakup with you, he will need to respond regarding giving your stuff back. Have you sent a message simply saying that you need to organise getting your things from him? Suggest that he could put it in a box for your collection - or have it delivered to you Hopefully, you will find some semblance of closure and of course get your gear back. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author notyouraveragebabe Posted May 29 Author Share Posted May 29 On 5/26/2024 at 5:51 PM, happyhorizons said: Hopefully, you will find some semblance of closure and of course get your gear back. He dropped my stuff at my door and sent a text. “I left your stuff at your door” it was neatly organized and he left a note “I am really going to miss you” ”take care” signed his name why would he leave that note? When I went no contact is when he decided to drop off everything. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 29 Share Posted May 29 He left the note because he will miss the good days. He left you because he needed to escape the bad days. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted May 29 Share Posted May 29 56 minutes ago, basil67 said: He left the note because he will miss the good days. He left you because he needed to escape the bad days. WOW this is right on ^^…. You were just too much for him and he wants someone new and different (less volatile) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author notyouraveragebabe Posted May 29 Author Share Posted May 29 1 hour ago, happyhorizons said: WOW this is right on ^^…. You were just too much for him and he wants someone new and different (less volatile) He wants a response from me. I know him enough to know that hes seeking a response. He packed his bag so many times and left my house and walked right back when I told him to stay. He wants a response. he put the note with our picture. A card I wrote to him last year stating “can’t wait for more adventures in 2024” also, with a souvenir he bought me last year but forgot to give it to me until now. I think I’m over it now. This cycle will continue . I want peace. Or maybe I’m wrong, he just wants peace too. there were a lot of good days too. I will definitely miss that, but we cannot fight peacefully and it’s too much for us both. im closing this door . I am positive someone else will be out there for me who will bring me peace. For now, I’m at the gym and will continue to focus on my inner self so I’ll be ready for the next guy. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted May 29 Share Posted May 29 1 hour ago, notyouraveragebabe said: im closing this door . I am positive someone else will be out there for me who will bring me peace. For now, I’m at the gym and will continue to focus on my inner self so I’ll be ready for the next guy. Good, but please don't expect someone to bring you peace. Your volatile behavior is your problem and it won't go away just because you get a different boyfriend. You really do need to work on that. A relationship with a person who is looking for peace is not going to have ANY character attacks involved. 1 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author notyouraveragebabe Posted May 29 Author Share Posted May 29 2 minutes ago, NuevoYorko said: Good, but please don't expect someone to bring you peace. Your volatile behavior is your problem and it won't go away just because you get a different boyfriend. You really do need to work on that. A relationship with a person who is looking for peace is not going to have ANY character attacks involved. No one can bring anyone peace. Life is filled with ups and downs and you have to find the right person that will ride life with you through them all. The only peace you can get is within yourself. I had my moment of being rude with him, but believe me he also was chaotic at time. I’m glad it’s over. peace and love everyone ! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 29 Share Posted May 29 1 hour ago, notyouraveragebabe said: im closing this door . I am positive someone else will be out there for me who will bring me peace. For now, I’m at the gym and will continue to focus on my inner self so I’ll be ready for the next guy. Good for you that you're taking care of your body. It would also be a good idea to seek therapy for your volatile behavior before you go on to the next guy so this doesn't happen again. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted May 29 Share Posted May 29 1 hour ago, notyouraveragebabe said: He wants a response from me. I know him enough to know that hes seeking a response. He packed his bag so many times and left my house and walked right back when I told him to stay. He wants a response. he put the note with our picture. A card I wrote to him last year stating “can’t wait for more adventures in 2024” also, with a souvenir he bought me last year but forgot to give it to me until now. I think I’m over it now. This cycle will continue . I want peace. Or maybe I’m wrong, he just wants peace too. there were a lot of good days too. I will definitely miss that, but we cannot fight peacefully and it’s too much for us both. im closing this door . I am positive someone else will be out there for me who will bring me peace. For now, I’m at the gym and will continue to focus on my inner self so I’ll be ready for the next guy. That’s a great attitude to have moving forward. One door closes and another door opens😊😊 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author notyouraveragebabe Posted May 29 Author Share Posted May 29 34 minutes ago, stillafool said: Good for you that you're taking care of your body. It would also be a good idea to seek therapy for your volatile behavior before you go on to the next guy so this doesn't happen again. I said I’m working on my inner and outer self at gym Quote Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted May 29 Share Posted May 29 Hopefully, he will find someone to appeals to him mind, body and soul. Very few people want to live in mean spirited relationships that contain hurtful words and actions. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author notyouraveragebabe Posted May 29 Author Share Posted May 29 37 minutes ago, happyhorizons said: Hopefully, he will find someone to appeals to him mind, body and soul. Very few people want to live in mean spirited relationships that contain hurtful words and actions. I wish him the best. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted May 29 Share Posted May 29 3 minutes ago, notyouraveragebabe said: I wish him the best. That is a kind way to part ways. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 29 Share Posted May 29 Glad to hear that you're taking care of your body. Are you still going to seek therapy (or at least a book) about how to have a disagreement without becoming volatile? It's such an important skill to have if you want a functional relationship Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author notyouraveragebabe Posted May 29 Author Share Posted May 29 1 hour ago, basil67 said: Glad to hear that you're taking care of your body. Are you still going to seek therapy (or at least a book) about how to have a disagreement without becoming volatile? It's such an important skill to have if you want a functional relationship Yes as I mentioned therapy, and gym, talking to friends, getting closer to family. many people fight and become hostile I am not the only person in the world doing this. I owned up to my mistake and apologized and I’m pretty disciplined with my fitness, career, education and everything I have. I am grateful and positive I can succeed and get through this difficult time. That same discipline I have in life I am positive I can apply it towards therapy and healing. Mind over matter 💪🏽✨ Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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