Am I wrong

[Devdon]

My wife, by her own admission, struggles with dichotomy and since achieving her masters in counseling, is much less approachable. I’d like her to get her nipples pierced and she would like me to get a tattoo. Am I wrong for offering a trade? When I bring it up, she’s offended, abrasive and I’m corrected for asking yet she asks me about a tattoo regularly. I’d be happy to get a tattoo but why is it wrong of me ask her yet she can ask me? 

[Acacia98]

The idea of asking someone to modify their body for another person doesn't sit well with me. So I think you're both in the wrong. But I have no idea why she has a double standard. Is yours generally an unequal relationship?

[Alpacalia]

Did she ask you to get a tattoo on her own volition or is it because you brought up wanting her to get her nippies nipped?  

Maybe she doesn't like want it to feel forced or like a "trade."  Can you just get a tattoo on your own if you want one?  

[Gaeta]

She has a master in counseling but cannot explain to you that her body is hers, yours is yours, and we don't paint or mutilate our body parts for others. 

[basil67]

If you want to get a tattoo for yourself, then it's great that you have her support.  And if you don't want a tattoo or are unsure, she should not push you. 

If she doesn't want to get her nipples pierced (a procedure which takes far longer to heal than a tattoo) you should not push her.  

Also, a friend of mine had a single nipple piercing which remained so painful that her partner couldn't even touch her nipple. She ended up having to have it removed after a year of pain.  You really want her to take this risk for you? 

 

Edited May 14, 2024 by basil67

[Els]

Well, the difference is that apparently you don't mind getting a tattoo, and she really does not want to get a nipple piercing. Doesn't that answer your question?

There's a huge difference between asking someone to do something that they have said that they don't mind doing, and asking someone to do something that they unequivocally have said that they do NOT want to do. Tit for tat doesn't work outside of the school playground, consent is the only thing that matters. If you don't want to get a tattoo, then tell her you don't want to do it, and she shouldn't ask for it again. In the same vein, why on earth are you trying to persuade the person you apparently love to get a permanent body modification that she has clearly said that she does not want?

[mark clemson]

On 5/13/2024 at 10:57 AM, Devdon said:

and since achieving her masters in counseling, is much less approachable.

Consider whether this tattoo/nipple piercing spat is a symptom of a deeper issue.