Curley kale Posted May 6 Share Posted May 6 I’m 47 my partner 40, we have been together 7 years but recently split up for three months, due to a row Christmas Day. Lately I feel he is belittling me, when I say certain words to my partner, he repeats it like I’m saying it weird. I was also talking about the pain in my tummy and said it’s not normal, he said “I’m not normal” this upset me and I did go to bed, he came up to bed and asked what was wrong, I told him that his comments had upset me, he got with me annoyed and said it was just banter! He said I now made him feel uncomfortable in his own house, and maybe go our separate ways. an I overthinking things and getting sensitive, or should I see this as a red flag ? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted May 6 Share Posted May 6 He has no right to openly disrespect you and belittle you (nobody does). It’s good that you called him out on it. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted May 6 Share Posted May 6 1 hour ago, Curley kale said: , he repeats it like I’m saying it weird. I was also talking about the pain in my tummy and said it’s not normal, he said “I’m not normal” He said I now made him feel uncomfortable in his own house, and maybe go our separate ways. If you feel he's verbally abusive and threatening to throw you out it may be time to reconsider the relationship and start looking for other accommodations. Especially since you recently split up for a while because you're not getting along. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 6 Share Posted May 6 2 hours ago, Curley kale said: He said I now made him feel uncomfortable in his own house, and maybe go our separate ways. It's interesting that he immediately jumped to splitting up. Maybe that is what's best if he can't be respectable towards you. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted May 7 Share Posted May 7 18 hours ago, Curley kale said: He said I now made him feel uncomfortable in his own house, and maybe go our separate ways I think this is what he wants, but is too much of a coward to come out and tell you. 18 hours ago, Curley kale said: an I overthinking things and getting sensitive No. He is rude and disrespectful. 18 hours ago, Curley kale said: recently split up for three months, due to a row Christmas Day. What was this about? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Curley kale Posted May 7 Author Share Posted May 7 He seems to dislike my sister’s partner. All 4 of us went for a Christmas meal, it was all very nice. Went back to his house had a few drinks. Apparently my sister bf said we didn’t talk much for a couple , that wound him up. Sisters BF is successful and into nutrition ( which I am) and we were talking about healthy eating, he just snapped at him, saying he wasn’t a doctor, what did he know, he began really shouting at him then saying all of us get out of his house in the morning. we had been arguing for weeks before this. He is angry because I didn’t move in with him 2 years ago and instead I bought a house with my sister. He is very resentful. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 7 Share Posted May 7 5 minutes ago, Curley kale said: He is angry because I didn’t move in with him 2 years ago and instead I bought a house with my sister. He is very resentful. To be clear, I'm not defending his behaviour, but I can see why he'd feel hurt and even angry. Question is, what was your reason for not moving in? And why was buying with your sister preferable? And why didn't he break up with you/you break up with him back then? I feel there is a great deal of background missing from this story Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Curley kale Posted May 7 Author Share Posted May 7 It is a long story, but I’m a twin and I was living with my twin and my mother who was elderly, when she passed away me and my sister used the inheritance to buy a house. I know he was angry then as we had been together 5 years at that point. But my sister wouldn’t have been able to afford a house on her own. Maybe I should have moved in with him before living in the house I bought , as now been here 2 years. And this is what we keep arguing over. I do love my house and the area! We have now got back together and I have said I will move in with him, but I’m scared he will always resent me buying my house . Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted May 8 Share Posted May 8 It sounds like this relationship died a long time ago, and you two have been trying to force something that just isn't working. I think it is going to be best if you break up for good rather than make each other miserable. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Acacia98 Posted May 8 Share Posted May 8 (edited) If something your partner does makes you question whether the person is as committed as you are and fills you with anger, then it's time to reconsider whether the relationship is meeting your needs. That's what he should have done. Instead, he remained with you, and the resentment built and built. And now he seems to think he's justified in being verbally abusive towards you. I think you guys made the right decision when you ended the relationship after that Christmas row. It was a mistake to reconcile. If you correct that mistake by ending your relationship again, I suspect you will both feel relieved. Edited May 8 by Acacia98 1 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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