sparrowb Posted May 4 Share Posted May 4 (edited) Hi, I've been texting with a guy from early February and met in person for the first time two weeks ago. It seems he has in general very busy life with work and social life which is fine but he's been a bit inconsistent with texting/communication, it usually takes 1-2 days to reply or even longer. I personally perceive myself not a big texter or good texter but still I tried to reply within 1-2 max days as I think texting with him doesn't require prompt reply. Anyway we met two weeks ago, he went on business trip for a week after our first date and when he got back he wrote me how's my week been and we wrote a bit since then and my last reply to him was on Thursday replying to his question what I did on Wednesday which was holiday. I normally ask questions to keep up the conversations but this time I only replied but still nice way, e.g. when I asked him previously what's his plan on Wednesday holiday he wrote he's going to swimming and hanging out with friends. And I wrote him back on Thursday like this: Ahh fun 😊 I had lunch with some friends which was super nice! There was a party later so was there! But didn't ask any further questions. Of course I can do but I think I was not sure what to ask haha and in the end kinda regret that. But believe he can pick and still write to me. However, as usually he didn't get back to me yet but I am going to business trip for 2 weeks on Tuesday so wanted to ask to meet up during the weekend, which I feel I am stupid that I didn't ask any further question. So my question is should I write him again or would it be seen as desperate or needy? cos it's double texting (I am usually not doing this but our first date was really nice so wanted to meet him again before i leave if possible) or should i wait him until maybe today afternoon and suggest to meet tomorrow? Honestly I am not good at playing game or just try to be myself but since he's been a bit inconsistent or actively planning to meet up which I hope he does i am not sure how to approach. I need your advice! I think in general we have positive vibe, he said he hope to see me again after we met for the first time. Thanks for reading! Edited May 4 by sparrowb Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Goodguy05 Posted May 4 Share Posted May 4 1 hour ago, sparrowb said: Hi, I've been texting with a guy from early February and met in person for the first time two weeks ago. It seems he has in general very busy life with work and social life which is fine but he's been a bit inconsistent with texting/communication, it usually takes 1-2 days to reply or even longer. I personally perceive myself not a big texter or good texter but still I tried to reply within 1-2 max days as I think texting with him doesn't require prompt reply. Anyway we met two weeks ago, he went on business trip for a week after our first date and when he got back he wrote me how's my week been and we wrote a bit since then and my last reply to him was on Thursday replying to his question what I did on Wednesday which was holiday. I normally ask questions to keep up the conversations but this time I only replied but still nice way, e.g. when I asked him previously what's his plan on Wednesday holiday he wrote he's going to swimming and hanging out with friends. And I wrote him back on Thursday like this: Ahh fun 😊 I had lunch with some friends which was super nice! There was a party later so was there! But didn't ask any further questions. Of course I can do but I think I was not sure what to ask haha and in the end kinda regret that. But believe he can pick and still write to me. However, as usually he didn't get back to me yet but I am going to business trip for 2 weeks on Tuesday so wanted to ask to meet up during the weekend, which I feel I am stupid that I didn't ask any further question. So my question is should I write him again or would it be seen as desperate or needy? cos it's double texting (I am usually not doing this but our first date was really nice so wanted to meet him again before i leave if possible) or should i wait him until maybe today afternoon and suggest to meet tomorrow? Honestly I am not good at playing game or just try to be myself but since he's been a bit inconsistent or actively planning to meet up which I hope he does i am not sure how to approach. I need your advice! I think in general we have positive vibe, he said he hope to see me again after we met for the first time. Thanks for reading! Ye why not send him a message Quote Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 4 Share Posted May 4 I don't think double texting is bad....but if he doesn't respond to the second text, write him off. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted May 4 Share Posted May 4 Why are you pursuing this at all? It took him 3 months to meet you for the first time, it takes him days to reply to you, he has not brought up meeting you again. This man is not interested in a romantic connection with you. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author sparrowb Posted May 4 Author Share Posted May 4 51 minutes ago, Gaeta said: Why are you pursuing this at all? It took him 3 months to meet you for the first time, it takes him days to reply to you, he has not brought up meeting you again. This man is not interested in a romantic connection with you. I don't know, I also didn't have that much expectation or how to say - I was not looking for anything so think it was fine but as time goes by I don't think I can expect or I feel unsafe I think. He wrote me after our first date hope to see you again and then wrote me when he got back from his business trip which signals his interest but ye you're right, since he always says sorry has been hectic with work or busy I honestly don't think he's making any efforts. It was weird because when we met in person it was a lot better, just in general communication and so - but I am also not the one who's good at how to say texting but my max reply time would be max 1 day after or maybe 2 days which he once also got back to be after a month from no where. Maybe I am stupid. I wrote him after first date, thanks so much for the drink and I had fun and he also wrote positive reply so expected to meet up before i go business trip which is quite disappointed as seems like he's busy again and make me feel insecure and not replying to me since Thursday. Is it also related to the fact that I replied to his questions as you can see above but not add any questions? But I normally ask questions and this was more of just reply to what he asked basically. Then I would just leave him, haha getting ghosted. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted May 4 Share Posted May 4 32 minutes ago, sparrowb said: I don't know, I also didn't have that much expectation or how to say - I was not looking for anything so think it was fine but as time goes by I don't think I can expect or I feel unsafe I think. This is confusing. If you don't have expectations, why are you fretting to this extent over when to text, double texting, what to text etc? Just do whatever you feel like doing and if it looks like it's going anywhere, then either go there or not. You "don't think you can expect" - well, that's correct. Why would you have expectations under these circumstances? And then you jump to feeling unsafe. Why? Please don't put your emotional safety in the hands of anybody who you don't know. That would be very unwise for anyone. Just texting a little is not making any kind of emotional commitment, but you seem to be making it so. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted May 4 Share Posted May 4 10 hours ago, sparrowb said: . when I asked him previously what's his plan on Wednesday holiday he wrote he's going to swimming and hanging out with friends. And I wrote him back on Thursday like this: Unfortunately he doesn't seem interested in dating. It's not just about texting or reply times. He doesn't even seem to make time for you. It's understandable you would like more after a good date but chasing uninterested men is the road to frustration. Please free yourself for someone who wants what you want. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author sparrowb Posted May 4 Author Share Posted May 4 1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said: Unfortunately he doesn't seem interested in dating. It's not just about texting or reply times. He doesn't even seem to make time for you. It's understandable you would like more after a good date but chasing uninterested men is the road to frustration. Please free yourself for someone who wants what you want. Thanks! I totally get what you mean. I also think he doesn't make any efforts - probably he does bare minimum which makes me feel confused. It was such a rate nice date in person but quite disappointed though. I would leave like this, but wasn't it the text I wrote (simply reply to his question) wouldn't be an issue right that I didn't ask any further question which I normally does, right? I believe he can always pick up from what i wrote just react and write new topics or so if he wants to continue conversation. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted May 4 Share Posted May 4 A man genuinely interested does not need a question to pick up a conversation. I am sure in your dating history you came across men that showed you what real interest looks and feels like. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author sparrowb Posted May 4 Author Share Posted May 4 6 minutes ago, Gaeta said: A man genuinely interested does not need a question to pick up a conversation. I am sure in your dating history you came across men that showed you what real interest looks and feels like. You're so right. If he's interested he will continue making it work. THANKS! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted May 5 Share Posted May 5 Why did it take so long to meet in person? He was just so busy he couldn't find the time, or? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author sparrowb Posted May 5 Author Share Posted May 5 1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said: Why did it take so long to meet in person? He was just so busy he couldn't find the time, or? He works a lot in general, not sure didn't ask. haha Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted May 5 Share Posted May 5 1 minute ago, sparrowb said: He works a lot in general, not sure didn't ask. haha I also work a lot. So does my partner. Nobody works so much that they can only manage to meet you after nearly 3 months of chatting. His interest is low, Sparrow. Please don't waste your time like this in the future. If someone can't meet up with you soon after connecting online, rule them out. And certainly don't spend months chatting with them in hopes something will come of it. Double-texting is not the issue here. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
FredEire Posted May 5 Share Posted May 5 Double texting does come off as desperate and is something I would stay away from. There's been cases in past I double texted and did up getting a date with the girl in question but every single time it turned out (shocker!) she wasn't really that interested. So why chase after someone who's not receptive to your interest? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 6 Share Posted May 6 On 5/4/2024 at 2:32 PM, sparrowb said: You're so right. If he's interested he will continue making it work. THANKS! No, he will make it work. This one wasn't continuing anything. You did all the work. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author sparrowb Posted May 6 Author Share Posted May 6 3 hours ago, stillafool said: No, he will make it work. This one wasn't continuing anything. You did all the work. Haha you mean he won't make it work? Same opinion, I am done with him! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 6 Share Posted May 6 30 minutes ago, sparrowb said: Haha you mean he won't make it work? Same opinion, I am done with him! No, I meant what I said, if he wants you, he will find a way to make it work. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.