a girl reached out to me today and it caught me so off guard? was her text basically a lie in the sense she was just trying to find an excuse to start communication again?

[zs0511]

so had something weird happen today and im not really sure what to think of it or how to take. about a month and a half two months ago i went out with this girl i met on one of the dating apps. are first date was pretty chill. we grabbed drinks, didnt last to long maybe 35-40 mins. she had to go to a dinner after wards. she didnt come up with his on the spot she told me when we made the plans so i knew she was going to have to bail. when it was time to go she said to me hey text me next week. ok cool will do. i was going out of town that weekend so we knew that was the earliest it would work (it was thursday)

well i text her the next week and say lets make plans to do something. she didnt respond for a few days so i texted her saying i guess its safe to say your not free or interested. she responds sorry i got back together with my ex it just happened. i didnt buy it and was sure it was a lie because a few days later i see her profile on the old site we matched and it had been updated since we went out. i mean regardless if its a lie or not it dosent change the fact shes not interested so whatever chalked it up to rejection and moved on

well today im driving to work and i get a text. i have carplay in my car so it shows the persons name when the text pops up and it was from her. i look at my phone and she just says hey do you know of any good home renovation companies. not an weird question because i do flip houses for a lving as well as own rentals and do property management so not uncommon to get asked that. whats kind of weird to me is how she responded.

so i texted her saying well i dont know any companies because i use individual subs for dif things. i have a tile guy, an hvac guy, a painter ect... what time of work are you looking to have done. and just to say this it has nothing to do with her. i just take care of my guys and get them work since their small one man shows for the most part the works important to them. plus i help them out they help me out. well her response was she just liked my text. didnt say oh i need a painter and a floor guy. that was weird to me because usually when you ask for something like that you would say what your looking for. why ask someone if they know someone then not respond to the text asking what you need? also she said well im looking at buying a house and im trying to decide if i should buy something that needs work. once again why would you ask me for contractor suggestions when you dont even have a project. your asking me based of speculation? llike if you dont have a project what good is it. also what i find weird is we hung out for 30 plus mins almost 2 months ago. how did you end up thinking of me. seems very randomn to me.

is it crazy for me to think that maybe she just thought it was an easy way to start talking to me? it just seems so randomn to me. almost like she thought back on things or maybe something was going on in her life and she lied for whatever reason and felt she couldnt say anything and she thought that was the best way to engage?

would love to hear some thoughts on this. it honestly caught me so offguard. and it just dosent makes sense

[basil67]

You barely know her and already what she says doesn't make sense.  This is your signal to block her and walk away.

Always do your best to avoid people who aren't straight up with what they want and what they are doing.

[zs0511]

yea i hear ya but am i wrong in thinking the whole thing or exchange was weird? like the entire thing makes no sense. 

[zs0511]

honestly i can of just want to ask her why she texted me because its clearly not about home repair work, honestly just out of curiosity but as they say in culture. something aint kosher

[jacket_wearer]

it does seem fishy. you may be right. the ball is in her court though, and you might not want to date a girl u barely know and have already caught in a lie. she may try and keep the convo going and mention she is single..

[ExpatInItaly]

She probably got bored or her latest love interest wasn't interested back, so she put a feeler out to see if you'd take the bait. 

You did, which wasn't the best choice on your part. I would not bother engaging with her anymore. She wasn't interested enough to begin with, so preserve your self-respect and forget about her.

Edited May 6, 2024 by ExpatInItaly

[zs0511]

i mean i didnt i just responded what are you looking to have done ect... it was more so trying to get work for my contractors and helping them out

[ZA Dater]

I'd engage more with her, maybe set up another date. Of course if you have loads of other options then you can simply pass on her.

This sort of thing is actually fairly common with OLD in my experience.

[ExpatInItaly]

2 hours ago, zs0511 said:

i mean i didnt i just responded what are you looking to have done ect... it was more so trying to get work for my contractors and helping them out

And there was no part of you at all that hoped she was trying to reconnect with you beyond this?

I don't buy that. 

[Sony12]

Most of the time when this kind of thing happens it's because they had someone else they were more interested in and that didn't pan out. So prior to trying to find someone completely new they try to get hints of what the vibe is currently like with the people that they passed on.

Edited May 6, 2024 by Sony12

[Maldives]

Trust me don't try again with her. She's a time waster. I just dealt with a similar situation and gave this girl the benefit of the doubt and It just ended up being the same outcome each time. Her past behaviour is a good marker of her future behaviour with you mark my words you will see if you re engage her. She is trying her luck again with you after passing you up as 2nd best don't bother. 

Edited May 6, 2024 by Goodguy05