I was moving on mentally, is she showing interest in me though?

[S2B]

Keep moving forward. She is playing games with you to stroke her own ego.

just act like she doesn’t exist - that’s better for you mentally.

when someone really wants to prioritize YOU - it doesn’t look like the way she does things. 

[spaceman33]

43 minutes ago, S2B said:

Keep moving forward. She is playing games with you to stroke her own ego.

just act like she doesn’t exist - that’s better for you mentally.

when someone really wants to prioritize YOU - it doesn’t look like the way she does things. 

She could be. Just something about how she came outside on Thursday makes me think she likes me. Cause she didn’t do the same to my coworkers and she knows them just as well. 
 

im still not sure. She might be upset with me. 
 

Or there are games being played. I mean I don’t give her much attention or talk to her much. 
 

I will still try to give it an effort and if I feel the vibes are just not there I will stop. I don’t want to just ask her out I feel like I need to feel out the situation more. 
 

I wanted a green light and I never got it I feel like. Not sure if either of those situations were one. 
 

still I’m planning to try it out as this week goes on. 

Edited April 30 by spaceman33
More info

[basil67]

7 hours ago, spaceman33 said:

She could be. Just something about how she came outside on Thursday makes me think she likes me. Cause she didn’t do the same to my coworkers and she knows them just as well. 
 

im still not sure. She might be upset with me. 
 

Or there are games being played. I mean I don’t give her much attention or talk to her much. 
 

I will still try to give it an effort and if I feel the vibes are just not there I will stop. I don’t want to just ask her out I feel like I need to feel out the situation more. 
 

I wanted a green light and I never got it I feel like. Not sure if either of those situations were one. 
 

still I’m planning to try it out as this week goes on. 

You're not going to get a green light until you've established a good rapport.  

Thing is, if she's acknowledging you in a friendly way, then you take it a step further and talk to her more. If the talking goes well, ask her on a date

[ZA Dater]

OP I can relate to this, I had a co worker who was similar, mixed signals but she was not single. She loved every bit of attention she could get from me most days, other days I did not exist.My advice, sounds to me she senses you are shy and is probably just leading you on. Hence the warm cold responses.

Not worth spending time on her unless you are interested in her.

[spaceman33]

Too hot and cold for my liking. I thought the way she approached me at the party meant romantic interest. That’s what my gut said. But I’ve passed by her recently and she barely looks up. 
 

I mean I haven’t really tried to start a convo with her but yeah. 

[spaceman33]

Also guys. I found out she has a bf…. 

[FredEire]

2 hours ago, spaceman33 said:

Also guys. I found out she has a bf…. 

So that's the end of your question really. At most she liked a bit of a flirt for an ego boost, or you just mistook friendliness for flirtiness. Either way there isn't anything in this so it's best not to think about it too much.

[spaceman33]

11 minutes ago, FredEire said:

So that's the end of your question really. At most she liked a bit of a flirt for an ego boost, or you just mistook friendliness for flirtiness. Either way there isn't anything in this so it's best not to think about it too much.

I believe it was flirting cause I heard she also called me “so cute” to someone here.  But yeah. She has a bf so no point to waste my time. Wont end good for me in any circumstance prob. 

Edited May 6 by spaceman33

[FredEire]

1 minute ago, spaceman33 said:

I believe it was flirting cause I heard she also called me “so cute” to someone here.  But yeah. She has a bf so no point to waste my time. Wont end good for me in any circumstance prob. 

Nope, it doesn't really matter. Just regard it as some silliness on her end and carry on with your life.

[coolcats73]

I’m 20s she is in her 40s. I never thought she liked me before. She’s always been polite but there’s been a few things recently that made me wonder. We barely interact with each other since we don’t work together really. 
 

So when I was helping her on Friday. She told me she had a dream that I quit and she sounded concerned. She said do I need someone to come speak with you? I told her the place would go up in flames if I quit. She laughed and agreed. It’s not often a woman tells me I was in her dreams. We’re not even close so I would never tell her she’s in my dreams even if it happened. She sounded concerned at the thought of me quitting. But that was about it. 
 

so today I helped her out with something again and she said. Everything works when you’re here, I should have you sit right next to me all the time now. the way she said that just made me feel some type of way. I was going to say I wouldn’t mind that, but I stopped myself. 

I respect her as a person so I don’t want to say anything that’s going to make her uncomfortable. Although I feel like if I told her she was in my dream she would have been like wtf? 
 

Just wondering everyone here’s opinions. I’ve only had one girlfriend before. 

If she never mentioned the fact that I was in her dream I would never have never thought anything. 

Edited June 3 by coolcats73
More info

[ZA Dater]

Dating in the workplace is an inherently bad idea. To me it sounds more like she is being friendly than showing any romantic interest. Also it appears she is trying to build your confidence up a bit which is always a good thing.

My suggestion enjoy this banter and participate in it, its never a bad thing to be around engaging people.

[Sony12]

People dream about other people they know. That doesn't mean they in anyway want to get involved with you. It may indicate they are attracted to you but not that they want to bed you.

If she is truly interested she will give you stronger hints than just 'you appeared in her dream' It's not like she said you two were having sex in her dream or anything like that.

She honestly just sounds like a lady who enjoys some playful flirtation.

Edited June 3 by Sony12

[coolcats73]

2 minutes ago, Sony12 said:

People dream about other people they know. That doesn't mean they in anyway want to get involved with you. It may indicate they are attracted to you but not that they want to bed you.

If she is truly interested she will give you stronger hints than just 'you appeared in her dream' It's not like she said you two were having sex in her dream or anything like that.

She honestly just sounds like a lady who enjoys some playful flirtation.

Well the dream thing made me wonder cause, there was a girl here who mentioned she had a dream that I was setting up her tv for her. Then she flirted with me at a party. 
 

so you don’t think she was flirting? Id say this is only the second woman who I’m not related to who mentioned I was in her dream to me. 

[Sony12]

4 minutes ago, coolcats73 said:

Well the dream thing made me wonder cause, there was a girl here who mentioned she had a dream that I was setting up her tv for her. Then she flirted with me at a party. 
 

so you don’t think she was flirting? Id say this is only the second woman who I’m not related to who mentioned I was in her dream to me. 

Flirting is fairly common in a laid back workplace environment. Most of the time it doesn't mean all that much. If she is truly interested in you she would make it pretty clear. 'Asking you out' clear.

For instance one time where I got involved with a lady at work she wrote me a note asking if I had a girlfriend and if not we could go do something sometime. 

Edited June 3 by Sony12

[coolcats73]

12 minutes ago, Sony12 said:

Flirting is fairly common in a laid back workplace environment. Most of the time it doesn't mean all that much. If she is truly interested in you she would make it pretty clear. 'Asking you out' clear.

For instance one time where I got involved with a lady at work she wrote me a note asking if I had a girlfriend and if not we could go do something sometime. 

So it’s not possible she’s testing the waters? I’ve never flirted with her before. 

[Sony12]

1 minute ago, coolcats73 said:

So it’s not possible she’s testing the waters? I’ve never flirted with her before. 

You are pretty young. Early 20's based on what you have on here. Chances would be extremely slim a 40 something year old woman would choose to get involved with a coworker young enough to be her son. She very well maybe attracted to men in their 20's and perhaps if you two had met on a dating site she might be interested. But most women don't want to be cougars at the workplace.

If you are interested in older women best to seek that interest out on a dating app. 

[coolcats73]

50 minutes ago, Sony12 said:

You are pretty young. Early 20's based on what you have on here. Chances would be extremely slim a 40 something year old woman would choose to get involved with a coworker young enough to be her son. She very well maybe attracted to men in their 20's and perhaps if you two had met on a dating site she might be interested. But most women don't want to be cougars at the workplace.

If you are interested in older women best to seek that interest out on a dating app. 

The way she said i should just sit next to her all day made me think flirting. had me a bit flustered. I’ll have to have more interactions with her to see. 

she’s 40s and attractive and yeah I’m early 20s. Wouldn’t she know that the dream comment could make me start thinking about her? 
 

ill just keep acting normal with her as I’ve always have and never flirt. 

[Sony12]

10 minutes ago, coolcats73 said:

The way she said i should just sit next to her all day made me think flirting. had me a bit flustered. I’ll have to have more interactions with her to see. 

she’s 40s and attractive and yeah I’m early 20s. Wouldn’t she know that the dream comment could make me start thinking about her? 
 

ill just keep acting normal with her as I’ve always have and never flirt. 

Don't misinterpret flirting as a way of being complimentary or nice with flirting out of genuine interest. 

Yes just play it cool. Usually when people are interested in people they work with they make it very clear they are interested.

[coolcats73]

3 minutes ago, Sony12 said:

Don't misinterpret flirting as a way of being complimentary or nice with flirting out of genuine interest. 

Yes just play it cool. Usually when people are interested in people they work with they make it very clear they are interested.

Does it sound like she’s attracted to me atleast? If so I can try to flirt a little bit. Nothing crazy. Just I don’t flirt with her at all. 

[Lotsgoingon]

No, sounds like she's just throwing compliments out there. One thing you do want to learn is the difference between a solid balanced person giving compliment and someone not so sane and balanced giving compliments beyond what you deserve.

No, her words do NOT indicate romantic interest in you. 

You don't ever "need" to flirt. If the energy is there, flirting will occur. All you want to say to her is "thank you." And do you enjoy working with her? If not, don't lie and say you do. If you do, you can say that. If there is good romantic energy, you will naturally communicate more and more in a way that leads to "you want go get a beer?"

And sometimes people like this woman do like to flirt, but only to flirt. Not to get to anything else. But I wouldn't call this a flirt. The other question is: are you turned on by her? 

 

[coolcats73]

5 minutes ago, Lotsgoingon said:

No, sounds like she's just throwing compliments out there. One thing you do want to learn is the difference between a solid balanced person giving compliment and someone not so sane and balanced giving compliments beyond what you deserve.

No, her words do NOT indicate romantic interest in you. 

You don't ever "need" to flirt. If the energy is there, flirting will occur. All you want to say to her is "thank you." And do you enjoy working with her? If not, don't lie and say you do. If you do, you can say that. If there is good romantic energy, you will naturally communicate more and more in a way that leads to "you want go get a beer?"

And sometimes people like this woman do like to flirt, but only to flirt. Not to get to anything else. But I wouldn't call this a flirt. The other question is: are you turned on by her? 

 

Yes I am. So you wouldn’t call her saying I might as well sit right next to her all day flirting? 
 

when she said that. I got flustered. And just said laughed. 

idk I felt something with that comment. 

 

[Sony12]

45 minutes ago, coolcats73 said:

Does it sound like she’s attracted to me atleast? If so I can try to flirt a little bit. Nothing crazy. Just I don’t flirt with her at all. 

It's very possible she does feel attracted to you. But that doesn't mean a whole lot as it is extremely common to develop a certain attraction with people you work with and are around on a daily basis. Rarely do people want to take things further than that with a coworker.

Just be the exact same way around her that you had been. If you all of a sudden start showing a sudden interest in her it would likely make her feel uncomfortable.

She is 20 plus years older than you. If she wants to see you outside of the office she will make it obvious she wants to see you outside of the office.

Edited June 3 by Sony12

[coolcats73]

3 hours ago, Sony12 said:

It's very possible she does feel attracted to you. But that doesn't mean a whole lot as it is extremely common to develop a certain attraction with people you work with and are around on a daily basis. Rarely do people want to take things further than that with a coworker.

Just be the exact same way around her that you had been. If you all of a sudden start showing a sudden interest in her it would likely make her feel uncomfortable.

She is 20 plus years older than you. If she wants to see you outside of the office she will make it obvious she wants to see you outside of the office.

yeah I hate making people uncomfortable. Fortunately I am good at making people feel comfortable and that they could talk to me about anything. I would like to keep it that way.