Yamaha Posted December 30, 2005 Posted December 30, 2005 I think romance is either in your nature or it's not. Some women/men are not romantic and do not think in terms of the heart.
Becoming Posted December 30, 2005 Posted December 30, 2005 it's about enjoying every minute you're together whether it's romantic or not. . . . It'd be enough that we were in each other's prescence, that made us happy enough. Everything else was icing on the cake. Amen! Nicely put. I love romance, but I knew I wanted to marry my husband when I looked forward to just doing laundry with him. I just wanted to be with him. I didn't much care what we did. We can sit in the same room reading sometimes, and wow! even after 25 years it's great--when we're talking overall. After the passion of infatuated lust fades, you've got to really enjoy one another's company. Seems to me we go at this dating thing all wrong. Why not start as friends who enjoy one another's company without having to prove a thing? We don't have to be baboons (thank God!) or peacocks engaged in mating rituals. We could actually be somewhat rational human beings about the whole thing and find romance is really about making the other feel special, which we all like. But if we're engaged in a relationship with another because we want to feel special, maybe we should just get a dog instead and spare everyone of the heartache that's sure to follow. Isn't dating about finding someone we want to go through life with? Instead of focusing on what he can do for us, maybe we need to focus on whether he'll be a good travelling companion. And how are we gonna know that if he keeps playing some societally sanctioned game of courtship? I'd much prefer to know who I'm dealing with than to be wined and dined only to be disappointed after marriage/moving in together. I hate the deception of courtship. Keep in mind that this is from a person my husband says practically made him fill out an application before our first date. My reply is that "it worked, didn't it?"
flowergirl Posted December 30, 2005 Posted December 30, 2005 Becoming: Girl, I like the way you think. I'm in a relationship now where the two of us are homies and lovers, and there's no real need to overimpress. The guy I'm dating now is sweet but honest, and he holds to the same philosophy as you. That's awesome.
Outcast Posted December 30, 2005 Posted December 30, 2005 Becoming - AMEN, sistah!! To me, you marry the person whose company you enjoy most - not because he's some sort of slave always jumping to fulfil your every selfish desire, but because you delight in the person he is because he's the person he is.
Lifestream Posted December 31, 2005 Posted December 31, 2005 We have achieved the philosophy for relationship bliss!
Becoming Posted December 31, 2005 Posted December 31, 2005 Becoming - To me, you marry the person whose company you enjoy most - not because he's some sort of slave always jumping to fulfil your every selfish desire, but because you delight in the person he is because he's the person he is. Yeah. Exactly!
Ericka Jill Posted December 31, 2005 Posted December 31, 2005 you appear to be a match made in hell. For the sake of all of us here, please stay away from each other for all of eternity. Oops, I lost the string...in case I get deleted into cyberspace, a member on page 2 said it all! 1
Outcast Posted December 31, 2005 Posted December 31, 2005 Oh man. Troll Night on LS. Is it the full moon again or something??
lindya Posted December 31, 2005 Posted December 31, 2005 Oh man. Troll Night on LS. Is it the full moon again or something?? Nope. It's a regular poster using a different username, that's all. 1
gfto Posted December 31, 2005 Posted December 31, 2005 as to the original question, I think guys do this, because once they've made it past those first two months, they get lazy. Most guys come on far too strong in the beginning (calling and talking on the phone everyday, sending flowers every few weeks, etc). After a few months, they figure they've got you locked in, so they just coast along from that point.
Becoming Posted December 31, 2005 Posted December 31, 2005 as to the original question, I think guys do this, because once they've made it past those first two months, they get lazy. Most guys come on far too strong in the beginning (calling and talking on the phone everyday, sending flowers every few weeks, etc). After a few months, they figure they've got you locked in, so they just coast along from that point. Ya know, to get back to your original complaint, I think you're right about this for many men. It's the "figuring they've got you locked in" part that really turns my stomach and makes me want to lob and run (in one of my more mature moments! ) When are such men going to get that some of us females want to be respected as free individuals as much as they? And when are women gonna wake up and quit expecting men to meet their every childhood Snow White Prince Charming fantasy, with the operative word being fantasy?
a4a Posted December 31, 2005 Posted December 31, 2005 And when are women gonna wake up and quit expecting men to meet their every childhood Snow White Prince Charming fantasy, with the operative word being fantasy? I just want them to pick their socks up off the floor and stay employed so they are able to pay their own bills! That is my Prince Charming! a4a
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