Does he like me or is he shy or what ?

[basil67]

3 hours ago, Mizzcasual said:

I forgot offline moves slower takes more time to build something.

I'm old.  I'm so old that I've never done OLD, and trust me offline can actually move very fast because proximity makes it easier to jump right into a proper conversation.   

If he was interested, he would have called you when you gave him your number.  Or, he would have said "Hi" and sat next to you on the bus the next time you rode it together and you'd been able to find out if the two of you get on well together.  

I interpret his winks as nothing more than a cheeky "hello", and trying to interpret his body language achieves nothing. I know he was running late when you saw him last, but it takes 5 seconds to say "I'm running late....I'll call you!"   That's what people do when they are interested.  

May I ask why you're so keen on him?  It doesn't sound like you actually know him.  Is he a nice person?  Does he have a girlfriend?   I really hope you're not waiting on hold for this guy.  

 

[Mizzcasual]

54 minutes ago, basil67 said:

I'm old.  I'm so old that I've never done OLD, and trust me offline can actually move very fast because proximity makes it easier to jump right into a proper conversation.   

If he was interested, he would have called you when you gave him your number.  Or, he would have said "Hi" and sat next to you on the bus the next time you rode it together and you'd been able to find out if the two of you get on well together.  

I interpret his winks as nothing more than a cheeky "hello", and trying to interpret his body language achieves nothing. I know he was running late when you saw him last, but it takes 5 seconds to say "I'm running late....I'll call you!"   That's what people do when they are interested.  

May I ask why you're so keen on him?  It doesn't sound like you actually know him.  Is he a nice person?  Does he have a girlfriend?   I really hope you're not waiting on hold for this guy.  

 

He way more flirty with all his interactions over time they’ve changed. I think he was shy he changed up more since then it was over a year ago like 2023 when he got the number not recently, I spoke o him yesterday broke to ice. He follows my lead . I sat behind him A few weeks to he got really nervous acted differently with me there. I think he’s single no ring anyway .

Saw him today got off last .

 I said  thanks you then said 

Where are you from ? 

He was like what  where am I from? Yeah  he said  I’m from far far away ,  I said where ? He said in I’m from (insert country)

I said oh really nice was thinking you were from there  he didn’t hear what I said had to repeat it 

He said I have to go cause I park here 

I said ok see you he said bye bye as I got off . Or I might’ve said the “insert country “guys are good looking and not said bye I think I said it and didn’t wait for his reaction getting shy 

I got to shy to ask for the number cause he said he had to go .  

Then said the (insert country) guys are good looking (not sure if he heard )

It was his last stop finishes before the  of the  shift bus back depot  . I checked yesterday thought he would have more time to talk . Maybe he was late the bus was slightly earlier yesterday by like 15/20 mins . Guess it’s good he gave a reason he had to go ? 

Edited May 22, 2024 by Mizzcasual

[basil67]

7 minutes ago, Mizzcasual said:

He way more flirty with all his interactions over time they’ve changed. I think he was shy he changed up more since then it was over a year ago like 2023 when he got the number not recently, I spoke o him yesterday broke to ice. He follows my lead 

Saw him today got off last .

 I said  thanks you then said 

Where are you from ? 

He was like what  where am I from? Yeah  he said  I’m from far far away ,  I said where ? He said in I’m from (insert country)

I said oh really nice was thinking you were from there  he didn’t hear what I said had to repeat it 

He said I have to go cause I park here 

I said ok see you he said bye bye as I got off . Or I might’ve said the “insert country “guys are good looking and not said bye I think I said it and didn’t wait for his reaction getting shy 

I got to shy to ask for the number cause he said he had to go .  

Then said the (insert country) guys are good looking (not sure if he heard )

It was his last stop finishes before the  of the  shift bus back depot  . I checked yesterday thought he would have more time to talk . Maybe he was late the bus was slightly earlier yesterday by like 15/20 mins . Guess it’s good he gave a reason he had to go ? 

Yes I know, you've copied and pasted this a couple of times already.    Do you notice that he simply said "I have to go cause I park here"?   This was him shutting you down.  He didn't exchange even one pleasantry with you.   He's so closed towards you that conversation is like pulling teeth!

Again, please tell me that you're not waiting around for this guy because it's going nowhere

[Mizzcasual]

1 minute ago, basil67 said:

Yes I know, you've copied and pasted this a couple of times already.    Do you notice that he simply said "I have to go cause I park here"?   This was him shutting you down.  He didn't exchange even one pleasantry with you.   He's so closed towards you that conversation is like pulling teeth!

Again, please tell me that you're not waiting around for this guy because it's going nowhere

He seemed to be running behind and gave explanation it was breaking the ice he was playful in the conversation at the start.

[basil67]

3 hours ago, Mizzcasual said:

He seemed to be running behind and gave explanation it was breaking the ice he was playful in the conversation at the start.

Did he say anything another other than "I have to go cause I park here"?    What did he say that was playful?

 

[Mizzcasual]

9 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Did he say anything another other than "I have to go cause I park here"?    What did he say that was playful?

 

The joking about being from far far away not straight away saying where he was from .  No just that looks like he goes back to the depot after they do split shift. It looked like he was running late the bus same route time was 15/20 mins earlier.  He didn’t  stay there on the bus parked up  drove to the depot. 

[basil67]

"Far far away" isn't necessarily playful.  It could also be that he didn't want to discuss it and was trying to avoid the topic.  

And no matter how late he was running, if he'd been interested in you, he would have stopped for 10 seconds and asked if he could call.  Or see you.  Or said "it's been nice talking with you".  But instead, he just quickly headed away.   To be honest, these are the actions of a man who isn't interested.  

You are very much clutching at straws.  And I'm still hoping that you're not only focused on him

 

[Mizzcasual]

16 minutes ago, basil67 said:

"Far far away" isn't necessarily playful.  It could also be that he didn't want to discuss it and was trying to avoid the topic.  

And no matter how late he was running, if he'd been interested in you, he would have stopped for 10 seconds and asked if he could call.  Or see you.  Or said "it's been nice talking with you".  But instead, he just quickly headed away.   To be honest, these are the actions of a man who isn't interested.  

You are very much clutching at straws.  And I'm still hoping that you're not only focused on him

 

I can tell from the conversation he was playful he didn’t need to joke. You wasn’t tell you can’t hear how it was . 

[Mizzcasual]

19 hours ago, happyhorizons said:

I think that sounds good. At least, you have broken the ice with him.

Took a while to get to that stage loli think he was running late the bus was 15/20 minutes later to the last stop  and went back to the depot to end the first shift seems they do split shifts. Getting more comfortable joking? Maybe next time I get the number I have good reason to ask since he seemed a little busy. I was respecting that he needed to go  didn’t seem like the right time to ask today. Probably continue taking the lead I think he’s responding to it ?

[Mizzcasual]

15 minutes ago, happyhorizons said:

You seem to have things under control OP. Just let it happen naturally😊

Ok I’ll try and it’s ok to ask for his number or WhatsApp if going good ? He seemed smiley when he realised I was asking where he’s from ? Probably was busy yesterday and ok he cut it short rushing in work ?

[Mizzcasual]

24 minutes ago, happyhorizons said:

Exactly.  I think you will be able to have some nice conversations away from the rush traffic crowd going to work.

Usually I get off last at the last stop so it’s only us in that particular direction. Maybe has schedule to clock out by and things Is it  not too soon to ask for his number ? Maybe compliment him first  after talking a little see how he is then ask or if he has to go again maybe say it then . He’s probably too shy to ask me for mine ?

[Alpacalia]

On 5/21/2024 at 2:58 PM, Mizzcasual said:

I think our conversation went good did it appear that way ? I expected I’d have swapped numbers today I forgot offline moves slower takes more time to build something. Suppose we’ve been gradually building some rapport we didn’t always see each like some months I don’t see him . I’ll try bring it up hopefully next time if I don’t get shy I might try the compliment again “insert country “ guys are good looking I don’t think he heard me or I didn’t see his reaction quickly got off , and bring up where I thought he was from . See how he reacts to the compliment or some other compliment to test the waters . If says he has to go again I could try what’s your WhatsApp talk when less busy or something. 

He seems like a friendly person, so I think the conversation went well. He may have been caught off guard by your compliment, which is why he quickly got off. I would suggest trying to exchange Whatsapp, you gave him your phone number a year ago, he hasn't called and I would hate to see you spend another year waiting for him to make a move. So, if you're that interested, put yourself out there with the Whattsapp. If he doesn't seem receptive to it, then you know to move on. 

[NuevoYorko]

So this guy is the bus driver?   I sure don't think he came off as "shy" at ALL, with all the winking.   Somebody winking directly at another person is quite forward and according to your description there were quite a few winks.

I bet he's not single.   He just knows you're into him and he's flirting.   Otherwise he would certainly have called you by now.

Are you going to a lot of trouble to be on his bus, sitting right behind him, being the last one on, etc?  You are so confident that he treats you differently than everyone else, you must be around him for a great deal of his workday?   Sounds like you're coming on about as strong as you possibly can.   If you want to just ask him out I guess you might as well ... but I would not go into it thinking that he's available and interested in dating you at this time, from what you've shared.

[basil67]

Wait...this guy is the bus driver?  I thought he was a passenger. 

People who work with the public don't suffer from crippling shyness because talking to people is part of their role.  If he was cripplingly shy, he'd be working in a role which has no interaction with others. 

The problem with working in customer service is that when a customer shows interest, the worker can't be bluntly honest.  So respect dictates that you (the customer) can show interest (such as giving contact details) but then LEAVE ANY FURTHER CONTACT TO THEM.   As the customer, you are in a position of power and you must not abuse this.   And honestly, him rushing to his car without even saying "see you next time" shows that he couldn't get out of there quickly enough

Back off.  If he's interested, he knows your number. 

 

Edited May 23, 2024 by basil67

[Mizzcasual]

5 hours ago, NuevoYorko said:

So this guy is the bus driver?   I sure don't think he came off as "shy" at ALL, with all the winking.   Somebody winking directly at another person is quite forward and according to your description there were quite a few winks.

I bet he's not single.   He just knows you're into him and he's flirting.   Otherwise he would certainly have called you by now.

Are you going to a lot of trouble to be on his bus, sitting right behind him, being the last one on, etc?  You are so confident that he treats you differently than everyone else, you must be around him for a great deal of his workday?   Sounds like you're coming on about as strong as you possibly can.   If you want to just ask him out I guess you might as well ... but I would not go into it thinking that he's available and interested in dating you at this time, from what you've shared.

No I never sit behind him only once to see how he was he did act very different like acting up more than usual . Yeah he acts different with me . Also the number thing was like in 2023  but time has passed he’s way different since then .I don’t see him all the time but a lot . He seems shy at the start.

[ExpatInItaly]

He is not "shy." This man is not interested. Sorry, but it's plain as day. 

Please do  not ask if you can What's App. That would just be awkward and uncomfortable. He has had your number for well over a year and has done nothing with it. He doesn't want to communicate privately with you. 

You need to stop and not make things uncomfortable for him in his workplace. He's already trying to put some distance there and subtly discourage you and you are not getting it. 

[basil67]

2 hours ago, Mizzcasual said:

No I never sit behind him only once to see how he was he did act very different like acting up more than usual . Yeah he acts different with me . Also the number thing was like in 2023  but time has passed he’s way different since then .I don’t see him all the time but a lot . He seems shy at the start.

Again, people who are unable to have a conversation with others do not work with the public.  He isn't shy, he's trying to maintain distance.  He ran away from you at the end of his last shift!  

Please respect that this is his place of work and not a dating scene. 

If you ask for his WhatsApp, he will say no.  He will likely tell you he has a girlfriend.  And it will be weird and awkward for everyone.

 

Edited May 23, 2024 by basil67

[Mizzcasual]

1 minute ago, basil67 said:

Again, people who are unable to have a conversation with others do not work with the public.  He isn't shy, he's trying to maintain distance.  He pretty much ran away from you at the end of his shift.

Don't be a creeper!

 

He wasn’t running I can tell by the conversation 

[basil67]

1 minute ago, Mizzcasual said:

He wasn’t running I can tell by the conversation 

His actions were entirely consistent with someone who has no wish to continue the conversation.

 

[Mizzcasual]

53 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Again, people who are unable to have a conversation with others do not work with the public.  He isn't shy, he's trying to maintain distance.  He ran away from you at the end of his last shift!  

Please respect that this is his place of work and not a dating scene. 

If you ask for his WhatsApp, he will say no.  He will likely tell you he has a girlfriend.  And it will be weird and awkward for everyone.

 

You haven’t seen him in person you can’t tell his behavior. You can work in public and be shy not everything is black and white thinking that you come across as having  .  He comes across reserved type I tell our interactions have changed over time .  He is definitely different with me compared to others . He wouldn’t be joking with me if he was trying to run away fast either he smiled when he realised I was asking where he’s from . Only cause he has changed over time it was very long time since he got the number too like the start of 2023 or something . 

Edited May 23, 2024 by Mizzcasual

[Mizzcasual]

19 hours ago, happyhorizons said:

You seem to have things under control OP. Just let it happen naturally😊

Yeah I’ll try to not sure how the next conversation will go not in a rush  going with the flow leaving time between .  Not coming in too strong or anything?

[basil67]

2 hours ago, Mizzcasual said:

You haven’t seen him in person you can’t tell his behavior. You can work in public and be shy not everything is black and white thinking that you come across as having  .  He comes across reserved type I tell our interactions have changed over time .  He is definitely different with me compared to others . He wouldn’t be joking with me if he was trying to run away fast either he smiled when he realised I was asking where he’s from . Only cause he has changed over time it was very long time since he got the number too like the start of 2023 or something . 

Perhaps I misunderstand.  It's been 18 months since you gave your number.....what proper conversations have you had with him in that time?   What do you know about him?  

[basil67]

2 hours ago, Mizzcasual said:

You haven’t seen him in person you can’t tell his behavior. You can work in public and be shy not everything is black and white thinking that you come across as having  .  He comes across reserved type I tell our interactions have changed over time .  He is definitely different with me compared to others . He wouldn’t be joking with me if he was trying to run away fast either he smiled when he realised I was asking where he’s from . Only cause he has changed over time it was very long time since he got the number too like the start of 2023 or something . 

You're clutching at straws.   Again, I can only hope that you are also dating others

[NuevoYorko]

5 hours ago, Mizzcasual said:

You haven’t seen him in person you can’t tell his behavior. You can work in public and be shy not everything is black and white thinking that you come across as having  .  He comes across reserved type

Please take my word for this:  shy reserved types do NOT wink at women that they're talking to.  Nope.  Nada.  

5 hours ago, Mizzcasual said:

  He is definitely different with me compared to others .

You said you sat behind him ONE TIME.  He is a bus driver, interacting with people all day, every day.  What makes you think you know how he interacts with other people, generally?  Are you full-on stalking him?

5 hours ago, Mizzcasual said:

He wouldn’t be joking with me if he was trying to run away fast either he smiled when he realised I was asking where he’s from . Only cause he has changed over time it was very long time since he got the number too like the start of 2023 or something . 

My friend, please.  You are making things up out of thin air. Bus driver smiling at a passenger = normal behavior that will happen dozens or hundreds of time per workday.   He certainly did not "forget" that you gave him your number over a year ago.  And believe me, he knows you're obsessed with him.   

I'm a little worried about your behavior.

[Mizzcasual]

37 minutes ago, NuevoYorko said:

Please take my word for this:  shy reserved types do NOT wink at women that they're talking to.  Nope.  Nada.  

You said you sat behind him ONE TIME.  He is a bus driver, interacting with people all day, every day.  What makes you think you know how he interacts with other people, generally?  Are you full-on stalking him?

My friend, please.  You are making things up out of thin air. Bus driver smiling at a passenger = normal behavior that will happen dozens or hundreds of time per workday.   He certainly did not "forget" that you gave him your number over a year ago.  And believe me, he knows you're obsessed with him.   

I'm a little worried about your behavior.

I don’t appreciate you being quite rude towards me frankly I was replying to another user.  Anyway I know what’s going on I have nothing more to add to this .