Thoughts ?

[Maldives]

I've known this girl that lives locally near me for for almost a year. We've only been on two dates. 

The dates we're a few months ago and I kind of let It Go thinking she wasn't interested and just left it at that. She's reached out a couple times just to wish me a merry Christmas or happy New year and I did the same a few months later for Easter just recently and just sent her a GIf Of an Easter bunny with the slogan. Happy Easter.

Anyway, I made mention that maybe we could catch up over Easter kind of briefly. I didn't really go into it. Not thinking much of it not actually thinking we would just as a friendly gesture after she responded to my Gif with how are you how you been.

Anyway, two days later I was a bit surprised actually to see she'd messaged me to see what I was doing And if I was free on the day which I responded I would be later. She then asked if I wanted to go to her friend's birthday and I asked what time and the location which she said she wasn't sure but would let me know.  Anyway, I went about my day and later that evening It was getting close to 8, :00 and I hadn't heard from her so I thought I'd just follow up and find out what's going on with this party to which she said that her friend had cancelled it. Which is okay that happens wasn't too phased by it and I actually thought well maybe she is interested in me and I'll ask her the same the following day but she was busy the following day catching up with a friend. 

Anyway, I guess the point of this post is trying to gouge what your thoughts are is she interested I get mixed signals  and then I let it go and don't bother thinking she's not interested and then she will randomly send a message or love one of my profile photos on FB (we follow each other on social media). 

I should add there hasn't been any contact since either from her or me. 

 

Edited April 16, 2024 by Goodguy05

[Alpacalia]

She does seem a rather flaky, but that's only two interactions, and neither reached a point of confirming the other.

I would not go by her liking or loving your post because that could be interpreted in many ways. Maybe a simple, short and upfront message asking her if she'd like to set a firm date and time for this meetup would be best. Read her reply carefully and proceed from there. Also, do not overthink her actions that much because it can drive anyone to crazy.

She sounds a bit luke warm to me. I am no expert but in my opinion you should follow your instincts right now. Don't overthink anything and take it at face value. If you feel like you would like to invite her out for another date. Or simply ask her for her number and try to build the friendship if she seems like that is all she is interested in. 

Edited April 16, 2024 by Alpacalia

[basil67]

 reactions on FB don't reflect romantic love.  Rather, they are about loving the thing posted. 

If you really want to date her, stop beating around the bush and just come out with it.  Something like "We really didn't get ourselves organised when we dated a few months ago, but I still think of you.  I'd like to give dating another try if you're open to it"  

[Maldives]

16 minutes ago, Alpacalia said:

She does seem a rather flaky, but that's only two interactions, and neither reached a point of confirming the other.

I would not go by her liking or loving your post because that could be interpreted in many ways. Maybe a simple, short and upfront message asking her if she'd like to set a firm date and time for this meetup would be best. Read her reply carefully and proceed from there. Also, do not overthink her actions that much because it can drive anyone to crazy.

She sounds a bit luke warm to me. I am no expert but in my opinion you should follow your instincts right now. Don't overthink anything and take it at face value. If you feel like you would like to invite her out for another date. Or simply ask her for her number and try to build the friendship if she seems like that is all she is interested in. 

Thanks basil67 great advice I'm a lil hesitant asking her I probably will though. It's like she shows interest then backs off hence I back off. If I hadn't messaged her that night at 8 I wonder whether she would have let me know I kinda suspect I would not have heard from her if I hadn't asked and followed up about what was happening with the party. That makes me hesitate somewhat asking her

Edited April 16, 2024 by Goodguy05

[Maldives]

10 minutes ago, Alpacalia said:

She does seem a rather flaky, but that's only two interactions, and neither reached a point of confirming the other.

I would not go by her liking or loving your post because that could be interpreted in many ways. Maybe a simple, short and upfront message asking her if she'd like to set a firm date and time for this meetup would be best. Read her reply carefully and proceed from there. Also, do not overthink her actions that much because it can drive anyone to crazy.

She sounds a bit luke warm to me. I am no expert but in my opinion you should follow your instincts right now. Don't overthink anything and take it at face value. If you feel like you would like to invite her out for another date. Or simply ask her for her number and try to build the friendship if she seems like that is all she is interested in. 

Thanks Alpacalia agree re lukewarm so confusing lol. Great advice cheers 

Edited April 16, 2024 by Goodguy05

[Ami1uwant]

Hard to say. When you dated shr May havr had interest in someone else, now thst hasn’t worked out, and dhe can’t find someone. You might have had promise.

[basil67]

15 minutes ago, Goodguy05 said:

Thanks basil67 great advice I'm a lil hesitant asking her I probably will though. It's like she shows interest then backs off hence I back off. If I hadn't messaged her that night at 8 I wonder whether she would have let me know I kinda suspect I would not have heard from her if I hadn't asked and followed up about what was happening with the party. That makes me hesitate somewhat asking her

Asking her would give you a much stronger idea of her interest, so what have you got to lose?   At best, she'll say that she's still interested.  At worst, she'll simply say she's not feeling it and then you can move on.

That said, if you don't like the flaky stuff, just write her off completely

[Maldives]

2 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Asking her would give you a much stronger idea of her interest, so what have you got to lose?   At best, she'll say that she's still interested.  At worst, she'll simply say she's not feeling it and then you can move on.

That said, if you don't like the flaky stuff, just write her off completely

Great advice again

[Maldives]

15 minutes ago, Ami1uwant said:

Hard to say. When you dated shr May havr had interest in someone else, now thst hasn’t worked out, and dhe can’t find someone. You might have had promise.

True hadn't thought of that. A possibility for sure. On one of the two dates she forgot her phone at the shopping centre we had just come from and she believe it or not was too lazy to walk back. So I said just wait here. I'll go get it because someone had called from her phone and was nice enough to hold on to it and wait for us to return. So I went back. Got the phone. I didn't look at her phone but you know the notifications you get and it filters onto the main screen well I saw that when I grabbed the phone there was a message from some guy but I didn't really think much of it Because we weren't really official or anything like that so she can do what she wants. But there it was there was a message there on the phone notifications from a dude lol. 

I asked her out one more time after that and she kind of didn't really adhere to the date and kind of was a lil flakey. We were going to go for a cruise on a boat where I live. I live near a river anyway, I messaged her the morning we were looking to go and she she messaged me a few hours later saying she thought I wasn't going to go because I hadn't messaged her the night before to confirm it That's why I kind of just let it go and let put her behind me after that. This isnt recent this was those first few dates last yr  for context btw. 

Edited April 16, 2024 by Goodguy05

[SurfCity]

10 hours ago, Goodguy05 said:

She then asked if I wanted to go to her friend's birthday and I asked what time and the location which she said she wasn't sure but would let me know. 

Did you ever say yes, or did you just ask what time? Just asking when/where sounds like a rejection.

[Maldives]

20 minutes ago, SurfCity said:

Did you ever say yes, or did you just ask what time? Just asking when/where sounds like a rejection.

Not quiet good question though I did say I was free and she said she'd find out and let me know which she didn't really until I followed up later that night. 

[d0nnivain]

You are getting mixed signals.  I wouldn't be so straightforward with this woman at this point.  

My standard early gage of interest when it is unclear was to let somebody know where I'd be on any given weekend night to see if they showed up  i.e. "My friends &  I are going to [bar]/ movie / festival] on Saturday.  Hope to see you there."  If the other person shows up you can buy them a drink, get them to dance or maybe grab breakfast later.   Their behavior will give you more clues about how they feel.  

[Maldives]

10 hours ago, d0nnivain said:

You are getting mixed signals.  I wouldn't be so straightforward with this woman at this point.  

My standard early gage of interest when it is unclear was to let somebody know where I'd be on any given weekend night to see if they showed up  i.e. "My friends &  I are going to [bar]/ movie / festival] on Saturday.  Hope to see you there."  If the other person shows up you can buy them a drink, get them to dance or maybe grab breakfast later.   Their behavior will give you more clues about how they feel.  

Thanks d0nnivain that makes sense re the mixed signals and good suggestion.