Sort of cheated with boss, told boyfriend, what do I now?

[Anonymous23]

Hi,

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 years and he’s so lovely and kind to me, I can’t fault the way he treats me.. we are each others best friend..

I’ve worked with my boss for about a year and a half and always found him really attractive and a lovely guy too.

My boyfriend is shorter than me and I know it’s absolutely fickle but one of the main things I love and am attracted to is a tall guy who can sexually overpower me, I love a tall guy and my boss is tall and handsome. We’ve always flirted in a way that my boyfriend knew about as it was just playful banter and that’s how my workplace is, but recently it’s stepped up. 
Long story short we’ve shown each other photos (rather than sending) and passionately kissed at work.. I felt really bad about it so I told my boyfriend who has been amazingly understanding and forgiving, but at the same time it was everything I’d fantasised it would be.

i was really missing the spark we used to have and those fireworks that I get from my boss..

so I’m relieved my boyfriend has forgiven me and I now need to go and tell my boss we can’t do this anymore, I’m afraid he will hate me and we’ll lose the really good friendship we had, but also a part of me is sad that I can’t touch him or kiss him again, but I know I can’t lose my relationship and everything that goes with it for a fling but I still feel pulled to this other guy.

i know I’m in the wrong completely but im just venting my feelings and I guess some response would be appreciated, i dont have any friends to or family talk to about this, so here i am..

 

thanks for reading!

[flitzanu]

it sounds like you should probably break up with your boyfriend and set him free to find someone that wants to be in a committed relationship with him since you want to sleep with your boss.

[stillafool]

Yes please set your boyfriend free because more than likely you will cheat again either with your boss (with minimum pressure), or another tall guy.  Your bf deserves better and someone who is attracted to him the way you are to tall guys.  BTW, just because a guy is short doesn't mean he can't overpower you and toss you around in bed.  I'm a tall woman so I know.

[Weezy1973]

Is your boyfriend interested in an open relationship? That’s an option.

[d0nnivain]

If you love your BF, respect him enough to get a new job 

[MsJayne]

If you really loved your boyfriend you wouldn't even be looking at your boss as a prospect, much less fantasising about a fling with him. What do you think the outcome would be? Will the boss fall madly in love with you and make you Mrs Boss, or will he have sex with you a couple of times and then discard you? My money's on the discard. So the likely outcome is that you'd end up single and working for someone who uses you for a bit of quick sex in the stationery room.  Embarrassing. I would break up with the boyfriend, there's a shortage of good men so he'd probably find someone else very quickly, and I'd nip this office fumbling in the bud before I found myself in the unemployment queue. 

[Gebidozo]

We are all human, and temptation is part of our lives. That said, you must understand that cheating isn’t something you just brush off as a “fling”. Cheating is a symptom of deep problems, be it lack of a strong moral compass, insecurity, relationship issues, or all of the above.

it doesn’t sound like you really love your BF. You probably see him more as a dear friend than as someone you’re in love with. Does he understand that? Is he ok being in a relationship with a woman who could flirt, kiss, and possibly do more with any tall, attractive man she meets? I find it hard to imagine.