elsaberg Posted April 11, 2024 Posted April 11, 2024 Hi, I'm in a bit of a weird situation and could use some advice. A few years back, I met a girl and we really hit it off. We stayed in touch after that, meeting up a couple times, we were even traveling together. Eventually I worked up the courage to tell her how I felt about her. But she did not take it well at all. She just ripped into me with a really harsh rejection. It was tough to deal with, but I respected her decision and slowly started moving on. We didn't talk for a few months after that. Then, out of nowhere, about 9 months ago, she sends me a long apology message. She said she felt awful about how she responded before and really wanted forgiveness. I accepted her apology. Since then, she's been liking all my Instagram posts and stories. She uses the same emojis, shares the music I introduced her to, posts in my favorite language sometimes. She even got a tattoo similar to mine. Basically, she's adopted all my interests and habits (I won't mention the specific ones here,) down to the drinks and foods I like that she didn't before. I don't have romantic feelings for her anymore, but I do still think about her from time to time. What do you think is going on? Is it possible she's actually into me now? Or is she just copying me for some reason? I came for your advice because I feel there are too many coincidences surrounding her.
Sony12 Posted April 11, 2024 Posted April 11, 2024 56 minutes ago, elsaberg said: Hi, I'm in a bit of a weird situation and could use some advice. A few years back, I met a girl and we really hit it off. We stayed in touch after that, meeting up a couple times, we were even traveling together. Eventually I worked up the courage to tell her how I felt about her. But she did not take it well at all. She just ripped into me with a really harsh rejection. It was tough to deal with, but I respected her decision and slowly started moving on. We didn't talk for a few months after that. Then, out of nowhere, about 9 months ago, she sends me a long apology message. She said she felt awful about how she responded before and really wanted forgiveness. I accepted her apology. Since then, she's been liking all my Instagram posts and stories. She uses the same emojis, shares the music I introduced her to, posts in my favorite language sometimes. She even got a tattoo similar to mine. Basically, she's adopted all my interests and habits (I won't mention the specific ones here,) down to the drinks and foods I like that she didn't before. I don't have romantic feelings for her anymore, but I do still think about her from time to time. What do you think is going on? Is it possible she's actually into me now? Or is she just copying me for some reason? I came for your advice because I feel there are too many coincidences surrounding her. Was she seeing someone else or interested in someone else at the time you asked her? She perhaps is looking more now than she was back then.
Author elsaberg Posted April 11, 2024 Author Posted April 11, 2024 21 minutes ago, Sony12 said: Was she seeing someone else or interested in someone else at the time you asked her? She perhaps is looking more now than she was back then. Thank you for your response. I'm not actually certain if she was seeing anyone or not, but I don't think so. The only thing I do know is that she had a crush on someone (male) who lived in a different country (I live in a different country too), but they never made things work between them.
Sony12 Posted April 11, 2024 Posted April 11, 2024 (edited) Oh just realized you are female as well. Do you know if this lady is into women? That's the first thing you should consider. She's not going to be physically attracted to you no matter how well you two get along if she doesn't like women in that way. Were you two ever intimate in anyway or was it just a very good friendship you were having? Edited April 11, 2024 by Sony12
Alpacalia Posted April 11, 2024 Posted April 11, 2024 No. It's really strange that she all of sudden adopted your likes and interests. It could be possible that she's trying to get your attention or show that she's changed and is now more compatible with you. I mean sure, she could have changed and developed new interests, but the fact that she's liking all your posts and sharing your music and language just seems too coincidental.
Ami1uwant Posted April 12, 2024 Posted April 12, 2024 8 hours ago, elsaberg said: Thank you for your response. I'm not actually certain if she was seeing anyone or not, but I don't think so. The only thing I do know is that she had a crush on someone (male) who lived in a different country (I live in a different country too), but they never made things work between them. Have you had a real conversation. No texts no emails. im sure what she said was bad taste. Than if she said things differently like she was just already taken/ dating so timing was bad.
Author elsaberg Posted April 12, 2024 Author Posted April 12, 2024 10 hours ago, Sony12 said: Oh just realized you are female as well. Do you know if this lady is into women? That's the first thing you should consider. She's not going to be physically attracted to you no matter how well you two get along if she doesn't like women in that way. Were you two ever intimate in anyway or was it just a very good friendship you were having? In that ugly message she sent, she said something like, "I can't offer you this type of relationship." When I told her how I felt, she had a crush on the man living abroad so I guess she wasn't really thinking when she sent it. We were just really good friends, though. She did grab my hand a few times. And one time I made a vampire joke, she offered her neck like "You can bite me." But I didn't read too much into it at the time. I am a little bit shy and if I don't get a clear sense that someone's interested, there's no way I'm going to do something to disrespect them.
Author elsaberg Posted April 12, 2024 Author Posted April 12, 2024 9 hours ago, Alpacalia said: No. It's really strange that she all of sudden adopted your likes and interests. It could be possible that she's trying to get your attention or show that she's changed and is now more compatible with you. I mean sure, she could have changed and developed new interests, but the fact that she's liking all your posts and sharing your music and language just seems too coincidental. Exactly. There are just too many strange things that line up for me to ignore. The weird part is that it takes her hours to reply back when we text, as if she's constantly thinking about what to say or playing mind games. And yes, like you said, she has changed. I still care about her as a friend but after what went down and how she acted like I didn't exist for so long, that really hurt. It bothered me for a good while and I just can't picture having anything to do with her. It's just funny though, when you finally stop trying so hard with someone and detach yourself, that seems to be when they suddenly want to reconnect.
FredEire Posted April 12, 2024 Posted April 12, 2024 4 hours ago, elsaberg said: Exactly. There are just too many strange things that line up for me to ignore. The weird part is that it takes her hours to reply back when we text, as if she's constantly thinking about what to say or playing mind games. And yes, like you said, she has changed. I still care about her as a friend but after what went down and how she acted like I didn't exist for so long, that really hurt. It bothered me for a good while and I just can't picture having anything to do with her. It's just funny though, when you finally stop trying so hard with someone and detach yourself, that seems to be when they suddenly want to reconnect. You want what you can't have I suppose, the old cliché. Maybe the fact that she lashed out so much and was so harsh in her rejection meant she did actually like you a bit, and wasn't comfortable with the fact she might be bisexual. It sounds like she has a few mental issues if what your saying is true and she has some sort of weird fixation on you, so pursuing something from here probably wouldn't be wise.
Author elsaberg Posted April 12, 2024 Author Posted April 12, 2024 47 minutes ago, FredEire said: You want what you can't have I suppose, the old cliché. Maybe the fact that she lashed out so much and was so harsh in her rejection meant she did actually like you a bit, and wasn't comfortable with the fact she might be bisexual. It sounds like she has a few mental issues if what your saying is true and she has some sort of weird fixation on you, so pursuing something from here probably wouldn't be wise. Yes, it seems like she has some weird fixation on me or she's living in some fantasy world..I guess I have to ignore it all. Mental illness has crossed my mind as a possible explanation too. I'm just glad I could get this off my chest by sharing it here. I was spending too much time thinking about it and sometimes it would even upset me because none of my friends act that way.
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