LIFEISCRAZY Posted December 29, 2005 Posted December 29, 2005 Its been 6 months already and I'm still going crazy. We were together almost 3 years and this was my first love and I was her first too. She broke up with me one day and never really told me why. She said we argued a lot but nothing else. But see we have argued before and whenever we argued it wasn't even that big and she knew no matter what we would always solve the problem. Look Its been a long time since break up and we havent had not one little conversation or anything. We called each other for our b-days and said happy birthday and thats it. I hurt every night thinking about her. I have been with other girls after break up but nothing is the same and those girls are nothing to me. I miss my girl so much. I wonder if she misses me. Now what I want to know is what should I do? I mean I feel like calling her and just asking her why in the world did this have to happen and why did she really break up with me. I'm so confused. I also always think like if she came back, I dont think Ill ever be able to take her back. I mean she did me so nasty by breaking up with me and then in less then 3 months claiming to be in love with someone else who from what I heard is not even with anymore. What is going on? What Do I do? Please help me out. Thanks.
Outcast Posted December 29, 2005 Posted December 29, 2005 Make a list of all the rotten things she ever said or did to you. Ask your friends and family to help you remember them all. Keep copies of the list in your wallet, at home, at work. Read them whenever you're tempted to pine for her.
Author LIFEISCRAZY Posted December 30, 2005 Author Posted December 30, 2005 i mean she wasnt all that bad of a person. I mean I did fall in love with her for a reason. Look im just confused. I dont know what to do anymore.
In Sync Posted December 30, 2005 Posted December 30, 2005 She said we argued a lot but nothing else...I mean she did me so nasty by breaking up with me and then in less then 3 months claiming to be in love with someone else who from what I heard is not even with anymore. Perhaps the reason she broke it off was for the reason you stated...that you argued alot. Maybe to you the arguments weren't a big deal, but maybe to her, it was just too much and a sign that the relationship was in trouble. Rather than have a let's talk about it conversation perhaps she didn't want to be bothered. Arguing alot in a relationship is simply not fun after a while. Makes a person want out of it.she just made a clean cut. Unfortunately for you that doesn't make it better, but maybe now you can sit back and think about what were the problems. WHY did you argue alot. Was it just opposite opinions and two people who never saw eye to eye. Also, was the way you argued loud or threatening too her. Was it always screaming matches. who gave in or conceded? Arguing is just a drag? Whether she is with someone or not, it's been 6 months. She has changed. If she has not called you, that may be a sign she's just moved on. You on the otherhand are stuck. You are stuck because it wasn't over for you, you hadn't reached a point of no return. Do NOT call her. Why? because you are still hurting, and if she is not receptive to you...I guarantee you, it will feel ten times worse. Try to understand you broke up for a reason and look deep at how the relationship was and see what lesson you learned from it. You have a right to feel angry, but calling her now would be a big big mistake. Really, you think you feel bad....you will feel like hell couldn't be worse. 6 months is still a short time to recover from a broken heart but slowly it will heal.
Greg25 Posted December 30, 2005 Posted December 30, 2005 I had a similar experience as well quite recently. While I still pine for my old-g/f sometimes, once she decides it is over, it is over. You just have to pack up your things and move on.
Author LIFEISCRAZY Posted December 31, 2005 Author Posted December 31, 2005 I appreciate the words you said but here is the thing though. In those 6 months we have called each other to say happy birthday. Also the reason i have been feeling like this lately is because like a few weeks ago she called me out of nowhere and left a message asking if i can call her back because she had to ask me something(remember we havent spoke in like 6 months). so i called her back and all she wanted to do is find out how i was doing. i tryed to be as smooth as possible and didnt mention the relationship at all. I didnt ask her about any boys or anything either. I tryed and let her do all the talking. she basically wanted to know how i was doing and to just say hi. we spoke for about 15 mins and then we hung up in good terms by her saying oh you can call me when you want to talk if you want so i said okay and just said bye and god bless. Now like a week after that she calls me to ask me if i still live in my same house. i said yes and why. she said oh i just wanted to know because my aunt moved right next to your house. so i spoke to her aunt for a min and said congratulations and then we hung up. see ever since all this has happened i have been thinking. why would she call me out of nowhere? whats going on?
Dmeech Posted December 31, 2005 Posted December 31, 2005 those are all false hopes brother. If she is done, then she sees you as no more than a friend. But you still have feelings for her which mask the truth when she calls you. You might think that she wants to have a relationship again or has feelings for you when she calls, but you think that way because you feel that way. Emotions are clouding your judgements. I'm going through the same things, best advice is NC. I felt like without NC, that there might be a chance even though she broke up with me for another guy. NOPE. Everytime we spoke, I ended up back at square one. Strict NC is the best. I still have a tough time every morning dealing with the pain (its only been a month) but now its supressed just to mornings and not my whole day like it was with contact. I know it is very hard to move on because you still have feelings for her, but they will subside. I'm seeing a mojor improvement in me with NC, even though I still love her to death I am able to get past the fact that we are not together anymore and go out and have fun and do my thing. Slowly, you'll meet other people (girls mainly) which will interest you, once that happens I promise you wont think about her for more than some odd minutes a day. Its all about finding someone that cares about you to replace her. Once you fill that emotional gap, the healing process will be accelerated like crazy.
Author LIFEISCRAZY Posted January 1, 2006 Author Posted January 1, 2006 you know what i think you're right. its just the thing that will ALWAYS bother me is why would she do it? I mean i cant think of a real reason. and how could she just find someone so quick and then claim to be that the love of her life? its so confusing and i try not to think about it. but one thing i can tell you though which i know but never put into action is you cant really find love. love has to find you. and thats the problem. im always so desperate sometimes to get her replaced that i keep looking and looking when i should just live my life and let love find me. its crazy though. i can talk this talk but very hard to walk this walk. you understand?
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