Jadey Posted December 29, 2005 Posted December 29, 2005 hey guys. I wont go into it all, i'll try to keep this as shortas possible. Basicaly me and my ex broke up about 5,6 months back. For reasons still unclear to me (we're both young which doesn't help:rolleyes: ) and at first i just couldn't accept it, i wanted him back so badly so i would text and call him alot. Sometimes i'd be nice telling him that i love him and others i'd be horrid calling him all names under the sun. I NOW realise that made any chance of us getiing back together that time even less. But i was too hurt and blind and lost in the moment to see it then. Then after 2 or 3 months i gave up all hope and stopped. He didn't contact me, i didn't contace him. I had moved on, strated dating somebody else (internet relatiomship though) but i was happy and accepted me and J' was over. Then xmas day (dead on 12:00 ) i got a text. "merry xmas." I recoginised the number eventhough i had taken his name and number off my mobile phone. I didnt know what to do and left it 3 hours before i decided to text back. It's xmas after all. So i just put this, "yeah merry xmas. Jade x" I didn't expect anything more from him but then he text back "i'm drinking alcohol and listening to music. what are you up to? how are you?" just like that. Like nothing have happend. But i couldn't resist answering him because i am a fool for him We chatted casualy, i was trying to be cool and all. We chatted for hours then he said he's running out of credit and wll get more later that day. Then later that day he text off him mums phone saying the shops are closed and he'll get it boxing day. He seemed keen. Anyway, since then he's text me every day, eing pretty nice and even said sorry "for any pain i caused" There's been afew comnts he's made like "thanks for being so nice to me, not many people are as nice as you" ER HELLO YOU DUMPED ME!! Then the next night he says he doesn' miss anyone from our old school and i reply back "thanks! :-p" and he said "well it's true" What's he doing then? If he does not miss me why keep texting me? And it wasn't just a xmas message HE took it further. I just don't get it. He comes along when im considering startin a new life with somebody else and i had accepted he didn't want me, but now he's back acting like he does . and bringing old feelings back. Me and the other guy have decided it's best we be friends not just because of my feelings for my ex but because in reality it probably wouldn't work being so far away. So what's going on? What shall i do and what do you think he wants from me?? Any help would be greatly apreciated Thanks.
queenie01 Posted December 29, 2005 Posted December 29, 2005 In my opinion he is just throwing you a line to see if you take the bait. Seems as if all our exs do that. It sucks and its not very nice especially since they have no intentions of getting back together with us. As long as they can get our attention they are content. I give up!
Author Jadey Posted December 29, 2005 Author Posted December 29, 2005 Hey Queenie. I know what you're saying, it all seems abit of an ego boost. But can it be when they text you and they took a xmas message further? I don't get that. Unless they have twisted little ways to lie to themselfs surely my ex should see that he's the one that text me, i wouldn't have contacted him if not, and he carried it on. See what i mean??
queenie01 Posted December 29, 2005 Posted December 29, 2005 I see what you mean but they just want info and then they disappear for a while again... at least thats how my ex works and i think that he will act this way so long as he is single. Once he meets someone new he wont bother with me anymore.
skeptik224 Posted December 29, 2005 Posted December 29, 2005 I don't know...I'm not so sure about that. My ex found someone new - just to date - nothing serious - and she still texts me - about 1 week intervals. I guess I'd say wait it out. If it's too hard for you because of how confusing it is, let him know that. Let him know that you still are not ready to be "just friends" and see what happens. But....make sure if you do send him a quick text that you DO NOT expect a text in return. Why did you guys break up in the first place?
LexiB Posted December 29, 2005 Posted December 29, 2005 Hey Queenie. I know what you're saying, it all seems abit of an ego boost. But can it be when they text you and they took a xmas message further? I don't get that. Unless they have twisted little ways to lie to themselfs surely my ex should see that he's the one that text me, i wouldn't have contacted him if not, and he carried it on. See what i mean?? Yes. It's an ego boost b/c he knows that even though he dumped you, he can text/contact you at any time and you'll always answer him. Sure he started it and he was the one who kept it going...but you kept responding. Dont know how bad ur breakup was or if he's worth staying in contact with but out of curiosity, if he suddenly stops messaging you...or begins taking extended periods of time before replying back (happens)...could you handle that? This is all too common "dumper behavior". Give it a few weeks before getting your hopes up.
queenie01 Posted December 29, 2005 Posted December 29, 2005 yeah my ex usually initiates it then i respond like a dummy then he stops responding... every single time!
Author Jadey Posted December 30, 2005 Author Posted December 30, 2005 Why did you guys break up in the first place? Thats a good bloomin question! He gave me a different answer each time i asked him so i know about as much as you But i justt don't get why he can't either say what he wants out straight, or just leave me alone!
Leid Posted December 30, 2005 Posted December 30, 2005 No, he's throwing bait your way to get your attention or to see if you're not otherwise too busy living your life to be bothered with the likes of him. Exes do that all the time, they send you "happy birthday" emails or calls and leaves msgs to say "hello" it's all a game, usually to see if you have a life yet. It's up to you to respond, but I truly think that's a waste of time and keeps you in the past.. Hey Queenie. I know what you're saying, it all seems abit of an ego boost. But can it be when they text you and they took a xmas message further? I don't get that. Unless they have twisted little ways to lie to themselfs surely my ex should see that he's the one that text me, i wouldn't have contacted him if not, and he carried it on. See what i mean??
gfto Posted December 31, 2005 Posted December 31, 2005 ex's do this all the time. they just want to see how, or if, you reply. Your ex is probably striking out left and right with new prospects, and he needs a little ego boost. And, sending a "Merry Christmas" is the perfect excuse to make contact with you again. The next time he sends something, just delete it without replying. You'll find it to be very empowering! I have recently ignored out-of-the-blue text messages from two different exs, and it felt great!
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