ReluctantCasanova Posted December 29, 2005 Posted December 29, 2005 Here is my quick story. I used to be in several long term relationships, was single for about a year, great success with women, getting laid, all that. Am I satisfied? Not really, I miss being in love, despite having more women now than ever before. Somewhere along the line, this woman starts working in our company. When I first see her, I feel an immediate attraction, but I like being single, I don't like workplace romances (although I am barely there, i can't stand the rumors and so on), and in general, she almost seems too good for someone as jaded and messed up as me. (fear that i will break her heart and leave her) Whenever I see her at work, there is this weird chemistry between us. Very understated tension and a degree of instant comfort. And yeah, she has a boyfriend, long term, someone she is considering getting married to. I know form very reliable sources that she is very confused about her relationship, she doesn't feel like she is getting enough, yet she hasn't been in our city for too long, doesn't have too many friends, so its hard for her to be alone if she leaves him. Anyway, a few things happen that lead me to believe that she is seriously interested in me. And worst of all, I am beginning to be unable to resist her. From previous experiences, i feel that i can take her if i wanted, but for ethical reasons as well as creating a million headaches for me and her, i don't feel that I should. Her boyfriend is a very nice, but kinda average kinda guy. Despite the indicators that he doesn't value her, etc; I understand that there are other factors at play here - things arent always what they seem. Yet despite meeting and bedding many many women this past year, I haven't met anyone who touched me as much as this girl, and we haven't even kissed yet?!?! I'm so confused. I can get almost any woman i want, but the one that i shouldn't be interested in is the one i want. This is messed up.
Leid Posted December 30, 2005 Posted December 30, 2005 You say you were in several long-term relationships yourself.. would it have been OK with you if any one of them got laid by some one else while being with you? Better yet, why don't you just ask her if she's interested.?? You could be getting crossed signals. Some women DO try to be nice ....
goingforgold Posted December 30, 2005 Posted December 30, 2005 reading your post made me sick - u sound like some real "love me do" who is so perfect and can get ANY woman you want. YEAH RIGHT!!! Get a life, not every woman wants you. I dont see what this woman sees in you. I hope she wakes up soon and sees you for who you REALLY are. Sometime that calls himself successful with women just because he gets "laid" - u have me laughing so hard my stomach hurts.
newbby Posted December 30, 2005 Posted December 30, 2005 now now, i think he is just being honest. rc, i think i understand where you are coming from to a degree. it sounds as though you are being fairly realistic about your state of mind at the moment, and you realise that you are not ready for a relationship, or at least not approaching them from the right place. it sounds as though you have correctly identified that this woman is a challenge to you, whereas the other girls have not been. however, i would say you need to look at how you approached and treated these other women aswell. why are you concerned about breaking this girls heart for instance, and not concerned about all the women you have just slept with and seemingly discarded?
EMJ Posted December 30, 2005 Posted December 30, 2005 "Whenever I see her at work, there is this weird chemistry between us" Yes, it's called "Flirting" and Lots of people who aren't looking for sex do it. Grown ups do it. Happily and unhappily married people do it. You clearly have the old "I want what I can't have" syndrome. Doing this in the work place is extra stupid and likely to get one or both of you fired. Don't be confused. Be smart. Stick to your "having more women now than ever before". Keep your workplace clean.
whichwayisup Posted December 30, 2005 Posted December 30, 2005 You have a crush and you're attracted to her. Leave it at that. What gives you the right to mess up her life? I know form very reliable sources that she is very confused about her relationship, she doesn't feel like she is getting enough, yet she hasn't been in our city for too long, doesn't have too many friends, so its hard for her to be alone if she leaves him She hasn't told you this, you've heard it through the grapevine...AKA OFFICE GOSSIP!! Unless you've spoken to her directly and are FRIENDS with her, then you have no right to turn her life upside down. If her relationship is not going well and she's trying to figure out what she wants, the LAST thing this woman needs is a man in her face, trying to woo her away from working things out at home. They probably are COMMON LAW married, living together and sharing a life...That isn't playing house, it's serious. Respect her, respect yourself and find a single woman not someone who is already involved in a relationship.
Sami_D Posted December 30, 2005 Posted December 30, 2005 It's not about you 'getting' women. Or about you 'stealing' her from him. Women have their own brains, etc. Men don't get to 'own' them, whatever they might imagine. Now... is SHE interested in YOU..? And if so... then what..?
OriginalPoster Posted December 31, 2005 Posted December 31, 2005 hey guys, original poster here. Better yet, why don't you just ask her if she's interested.?? You could be getting crossed signals. Some women DO try to be nice .... Maybe I am overanalyzing this, but for some reason it seems awkward and wrong for me to *just ask* reading your post made me sick - u sound like some real "love me do" who is so perfect and can get ANY woman you want. YEAH RIGHT!!! Get a life, not every woman wants you. I dont see what this woman sees in you. I hope she wakes up soon and sees you for who you REALLY are. Sometime that calls himself successful with women just because he gets "laid" - u have me laughing so hard my stomach hurts. i know where you are coming from. i can see that you've been hurt and probably projecting a typical image of a guy you hate onto me. I'm not that evil or bad. Just a little jaded, maybe. The bad part is that this girl is good at bringing the best out of me. You have a crush and you're attracted to her. Leave it at that. What gives you the right to mess up her life? She hasn't told you this, you've heard it through the grapevine...AKA OFFICE GOSSIP!! Unless you've spoken to her directly and are FRIENDS with her, then you have no right to turn her life upside down. If her relationship is not going well and she's trying to figure out what she wants, the LAST thing this woman needs is a man in her face, trying to woo her away from working things out at home. They probably are COMMON LAW married, living together and sharing a life...That isn't playing house, it's serious. Respect her, respect yourself and find a single woman not someone who is already involved in a relationship. honestly, if she is happy where she is, i would just walk away. but its not that simple right now. as far as the gossip goes, like i said, its from a VERY reliable source. Not just office gossip, this is from a person very close to me that wouldnt lie. It's not about you 'getting' women. Or about you 'stealing' her from him. Women have their own brains, etc. Men don't get to 'own' them, whatever they might imagine. Now... is SHE interested in YOU..? And if so... then what..? thats the bottom line. is she interested? and if she is.. well.. good question. but yeah, thats basically the main question right now. whether she is interested or not. But in a way, its also a stupid question, because like you said, if she is, so what? Is she going to walk away from her relationship? Or not? Honestly, i didn't want this to happen regardless. But i sorta find myself falling for her, and i am not used to those situations. But just to make it clear: i am not going to force her to break up with the b/f, i am not going to try and seduce her while she is still with him, etc. I don't think i should just ask her, because, well - its kind of stupid. I guess i am stuck keeping my feelings to myself and playing the waiting game.
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