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Thwarting advances

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I am married to a beautiful woman who the oldest of 4 girls.  They are all about 2 years apart and everyone of them are gorgeous.  Their ages range from 49 down to 42.  All of my sister in laws were married until about two years ago when the sister below my wife had a sudden and unexpected divorce.  My sister in laws and I have always had a good relationship and even though they are stunning women we have always had an above board relationship.  There have been some teasing throughout the years but not nothing out of line.  

This is why what happened recently has taken me by surprise.  My sister in law who is now divorced had something for me to pick up from her house.  This is not new, as she has given my wife things in the past and I’ve always gone over there to pick things up in my truck.  

When I got there she answers the door in shorter shorts and a skin tight teeshirt. She is usually very modest even after she got divorced so this surprises me but I thought maybe she’s just hanging out around the house today. I was dressed somewhat nice as I had been to a funeral that day.  She mentioned how nice I looked which is odd for her.  She is a nice lady but she does not usually mention my appearance. 

She showed me where the lamp was in one of the upstairs bedrooms.  When I stepped into the room she said she wanted to talk (we were the only two in the house). 

She hem hawed around for bit but finally just came right and said that she finds me attractive in many ways.  This floored me. I’ve known this woman for over 25 years and she’s never, not once said anything inappropriate or out of line. I did not know what to say.  I thanked her as it is nice to be liked and wanted, especially by someone this attractive and normal but I did not know what to say.  The silence was awkward and she finally asked me to say something. I just told her that I was stunned by her admission.  (And no, this is not some fantasy I’ve had or had had in the past.  I generally thought that this woman hair looked at me as regular ole guy that was her bro n law)

Thankfully I had an appointment to get to so I was able to tell her that I needed to leave. As I walked past her she said, “come back over when you’re done. I’ve got some more things for you”

So, that was 2 weeks ago.  I texted her later and said that my appointment went late and that I would have to pick up those things for her later.  She said Ok and that was it.  She hasn’t contacted me since then and I have definitely not said anything to her.

I have not told anyone except you guys.  What’s my best move.  I do not want to get involved with my sister in law at all!  What a mess.  But I cannot lie and at that it does not feel pretty good to be told that someone is attracted to you especially when they themselves are very attractive.

Should I tell my wife?  Should I call my sister in law and let her know that I am flattered but that I do not want to get involved in anyway.  I know I didn’t misread things back at her house   I don’t want to embarrass her but I also don’t want to be alone with her, not so much because of what she may do, but if I’m honest I don’t know what I would do if she came on to me   




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The answer is to stop going over there.  And if you must go alone, stay on the porch.  If she asks why, tell her that her behaviour was inappropriate and you are keeping boundaries in place. 

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Like anyone having a midlife crisis they will act/say things out of turn/inappropriate. She's trying to feel desired, stepping out of her comfort zone, feeling titillated in that moment. With your reaction, she probably realized how ridiculous she was being and regrets it. 

It's up to you to say something or not to your wife. Me I would just keep my distance, and if there is a time if happens again, or the incident comes up, just tell her that it was inappropriate and it made you uncomfortable, to stop it. I have a feeling an apology is coming soon. 

Now if you do bring it up to your wife you can say "A strange thing happened to me the other day....your sister acted weird......I think she's going through a midlife crisis".

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mark clemson
On 4/2/2024 at 12:54 PM, Alovelysunnyday said:

  What’s my best move. 

I would simply minimize contact with her and keep it polite but not warm when you do see her. She'll get the message and simmer down/find a new love interest sooner or later.

IF IT WAS ME, I wouldn't tell my wife. The reason is that nothing happened beyond an offer being made. You didn't respond to the attempt at seduction. Bringing it up will generate a LOT of drama where there needn't be any and probably alienate the two.  There may be "fault lines" within the family structure, and the two sisters being at odds might have ripple effects on the relationships between all of them, the parents, other family members, etc, etc.

However, there's a risk it will come out at some point and your wife will be pissed you didn't let her know. If that were to happen, you could downplay it and explain you didn't realize what was going on (you were between appointments and no doubt a bit preoccupied from the funeral etc). You could alternatively explain you didn't want your wife to be alienated from her sister. Whether you want to take that risk by not telling her is of course up to you.

Whatever choice you make on the tell your wife aspect, given the totality of your situation rejecting her offer was probably quite wise.

Edited by mark clemson
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