Alpacalia Posted March 31, 2024 Posted March 31, 2024 So a male friend and I used to hang out together because we shared a lot of common interests and had a great time together. We had an event that we both went to and I think I may have inadvertently been a bit critical of him. Now he it's like a switch has been flipped and he just can't stand me. I feel like I need to make amends or apologize for my behavior, but I'm not sure how to approach him without making things worse. Should I apologize or try to talk to him about it or just let it go?
basil67 Posted March 31, 2024 Posted March 31, 2024 I think that the type of apology which makes a difference is one which really owns up to what we did wrong. None of this "I'm sorry if you were offended" business which some say....instead it should be "I'm so sorry I said X at Y event. (I didn't mean for it to come out sounding like it did/it really was none of my business/whatever) and with hindsight I realise just how hurtful my words would have been. Your friendship means a great deal to me and I miss you". He may or may not rekindle the relationship, but at the very least you've done what you can to make it right. Good luck! 1
Author Alpacalia Posted March 31, 2024 Author Posted March 31, 2024 OK thanks. We were discussing one of my long-term female friends that used to date him. I made a comment about it. He seemed a bit uncomfortable but didn't say anything. Later, he brought it up and asked me not to bring up his past relationships around him. There was another time my best female friend from when I was 11, I was talking to her on the phone after her mother passed away and I was consoling her and afterwards I told him about it. He seemed upset and told me “Well at least she's not in pain anymore." and I responded with "Yeah, but it's still hard for her, she lost her mother." He didn't say anything after that and seemed a bit cold towards me. I think though my responses might have been a bit brattish. We're not super close. We've known each other for a few years now and have always gotten along well. If it was someone that I was closer to, I would have probably apologized and tried to explain myself better. But since we're not that close, I didn't want to make a bigger deal out of it and potentially make things more awkward between us.
basil67 Posted March 31, 2024 Posted March 31, 2024 Not brattish at all. If he dropped you over these comments, then he's not a friend worth having 1
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