Which tends to be more challenging to move on from: a relationship rooted in infatuation or one grounded in genuine love?

[WesternFlamingo77]

Which tends to be more challenging to move on from after a breakup: a relationship rooted in infatuation or one grounded in genuine love?

[Alpacalia]

Infatuation. Why? Because infatuation is based on intense passion and attraction and the brain produces chemicals that make everything feel euphoric and perfect. When this intense feeling fades away, people can often realize they weren't actually compatible with their partner and the relationship was built on superficial factors rather than genuine love and compatibility.

[Wiseman2]

A Long term relationship involving more of your life is more difficult. A passing crush is just that. 

[d0nnivain]

Love.  Infatuation is fleeting . . .intense but fleeting 

[Alpacalia]

I respect the other replies, I suppose, I see this a bit different from them.

In my opinion, it can be more challenging to move on infatuations breakup because infatuation is often rooted in unrealistic fantasies and idealizations of the other person. This can make it harder to let go because the person has created an unrealistic image of their partner in their mind. When the relationship ends, they may struggle to accept the reality of the person and let go of their idealized version.

On the other hand, a relationship grounded in genuine love is built on a strong foundation of mutual understanding, respect, and compatibility. While a breakup may still be difficult, there is an underlying understanding and respect for each other that can make it easier to move on. I have two uncles, that were married to their wives for 45 years.

When their wife passed away, they got into a relationship rather quickly, but I suppose that maybe due to the fact that they couldn't be alone, they were used to love from their wives, and needed to feel that love again. So while it can still be challenging, genuine love and understanding can make it easier to work through the breakup and ultimately move on because there is a foundation of love and respect that remains. Infatuations can often end in a sense of disappointment and disillusionment, making it harder to let go and move on.

Genuine love, on the other hand, provides a stronger foundation for understanding and respect, which can ultimately make it easier to move on and find closure after a breakup.

Edited March 22, 2024 by Alpacalia

[Foxhall]

I suppose everyone has different takes on it,

No longer having what you were used to for a lengthy period of time- that for me can leave things feeling a bit hollow,

not missing love because it perhaps was never or only fleetingly love, but there is a void from no longer having what I was used to.

[Wiseman2]

Which one are you trying to move on from? 

[WesternFlamingo77]

On 3/22/2024 at 8:03 PM, Wiseman2 said:

Which one are you trying to move on from? 

The most difficult one of all... first love.

I was just curious tho because I always hear both answers on one hand they say infatuation is harder to move on from because you have to accept the person for who they truly are after creating an idealized image in your head and come to terms with how wrong you were. But then its like isn't it easy to get over someone after its curtains and you see them for who they really are? Whereas with love you already accept them with all their flaws so wouldn't that be harder to move on from (i.e., harder to see the negatives when you came to terms with it)...?

And generally I feel like with love in the relationship there is a deep connection and care for one another and you feel like you truly missed out on a great person and when they aren't there for you anymore it hurts/feels like part of you is missing.

[Wiseman2]

First love may have a nostalgic place in your life, but it's certainly not as difficult as losing a family or someone you built a real life with. Please talk to some trusted adults, maybe some who are widowed and try to get some perspective.