Prettyinblack Posted December 27, 2005 Posted December 27, 2005 Well, this is the kicker..........my on again off again boyfriend (been together 4 years, on and off for 1) has finally helped me to see the light. The last argument was 3 weeks ago.......he says the relationship is "too much work" after I call him on not treating me well and we don't speak again after I say "you have to show up in order to do the work!!! What the heck are you talking about 'work'!!" Anyway, Christmas is "that time of year" and no word from the *&@& so I did a drive by on Christmas Eve at about 3 am after having a crying meltdown at a friends house on Christmas eve and there was an old car in the driveway and I recognized the license plate but couldn't place it. The next night, same car. I ran the plate last night and it is this low-life chick he went to school with 20 years ago!!!! And lets put it this way, his house is sooooooooo small, she would have had to sleep with him.. He is a die hard musician and the entire 400 sq ft of the house is gear other than the bedroom.. I'm not exagerating, really....no couch, kitchen table or even a lazy boy. To be blunt and as absolutley sour as what I am right now, she looks like leftovers while I look like filet mignon. She rents a room, I own a beautiful home in a beautiful neighbourhood. She works as a cleaner while I am a professional with a degree. And I did meet her a couple of years ago when she bummed a ride from us one night after a gig because she was so drunk, she couldn't drive. She has thick glasses like coke bottles. What the HELL is this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG, I am so upset. This is the man that has committment issues and I know the drill....What better way to not deal with ambivilence than to have an affair or pull in a woman from the past. I know how it goes, but how long has he been screwing her??????? OMG/ He has been the love of my life. I have known him as a friend for 21. I am DEVESTATED. I left him an angry message telling him that he was piece of s**t and why didn't he tell me he was f*****g around and to never call me again...in fact, forget he EVER knew me. I don't know....it has been a hard day and I haven't slept and I have Chron's Disease and am sure I have lost 20 pounds overnight....so that is my weight loss program, guys......
fomerlyniceguy Posted December 27, 2005 Posted December 27, 2005 Breathe, Breathe, Breathe. There we go. Now. Sounds like you have your sh*t together, looking for something in life. Obviously you have a job, house, life, etc. So why are you sweating a dirtbag. Life is too short to be with someone who makes you cry on Christmas Eve. You did the right thing now you have to forget you know him and move on. He's right on one thing relationships shouldn't be that much work, but when things are right and you are both doing your part then they aren't as much work. You know you have it right when you don't feel like you are slaving away at saving your relationship. good Luck.
Moai Posted December 27, 2005 Posted December 27, 2005 Wow! Don't torture yourself by going by there anymore. You don't deserve the anguish! I just got out of a very similar relationship, and I couldn't be happier, finally. Every so often it pops up in my head, but not for long and the feelings are largely gone. You'll get there, too. I just lost 20lbs, too! I was diagnosed with Ibd, and so I changed my diet radically sso they wouldn't have to cut me up in a few years. I feel better, I am dropping weight, and the best part is I will be that much better for the next person. You will be, too. And just think, when'if you bump into old flames you will look so awesome they will kill themselves for letting you go... Good luck!
Author Prettyinblack Posted December 30, 2005 Author Posted December 30, 2005 For the update,,,, here we go... I called the woman he has been sleeping with and it turns out that he has been sleeping with her for 7 months. She was very nice and so was I because it isn't her fault, it is his. Then after the conversation, my friend called him and he acted like he didn't know what she was talking about when she told him I ran the plates on the vehicle that was parked in his driveway on Christmas Eve at 4 am....he just kept saying, "what????what???? WAHTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!." And then he still denied it. He couldn't believe that I had called him a peice of S*** and balh, blah, blah....In fact, he didn't even know it was over until I left him that message on Boxing day!! That's what he said.... I can't believe it.....I keep saying over and over in my head....."this is incredible".......and it is. I am reeling and so hurt and disgusted and confused and I want him back but only to shoot him and I've been crying for days. I have left him 2 messages letting him know that I have spoken to "denise" and that I am devestated.
Scott S Posted December 30, 2005 Posted December 30, 2005 I have left him 2 messages letting him know that I have spoken to "denise" and that I am devestated. So now he knows that he is "busted." Very well. You no longer have any reason to contact him & torture yourself by doing so. For your own sake, let go. No one is worth damaging one's health over. ____________________________________________ When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. When life hands you limes, make margaritas.
Author Prettyinblack Posted January 2, 2006 Author Posted January 2, 2006 Update........my birthday was on New Year's Eve and he called my friend back trying to explain it all......I don't know why. I haven't heard from him personally but have heard from some of our friends who weren't aware that he was living a double life. I am still crying over the dirt bag.
Lishy Posted January 2, 2006 Posted January 2, 2006 You poor thing!!!!!!!!! Ok lets look on the bright side honey ......... When he next see's you, you will be a few stone lighter, sexier than ever and he will want you back that is for sure! 1 question tho hon ..... Why do you want a guy whose house you wouldnt want your dog to sleep in and who sleeps around?
lilmoma1973 Posted January 2, 2006 Posted January 2, 2006 Hang in there you don't need him !! It is his loss and someone else's gain !! Look at it like this she is ugly what does she have you don't !! He went from good to worst so let him have her!!! You deserve better than him so be glad he is gone!!
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