whichwayisup Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 And I see plenty of that going on. Girls will see a guy, think he's *good looking*, and go ga-ga. Not even a moment's thought to the dude's character. Yeah and men do the same thing when a woman has big boobs and is hot. The EXACT same thing SF. He has NO interest in getting to know her, all he can think about is seeing her boobs and getting her into bed.
SmoochieFace Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 Yeah and men do the same thing when a woman has big boobs and is hot. Not all men do that. He has NO interest in getting to know her, all he can think about is seeing her boobs and getting her into bed. And yet, most of those women will go along for the ride anyway. Why is that, may I ask?
loony Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 She may or may not do that. That is for her to decide. Then she might not be much better than anybody else and the only reason why she is having brownie points with you is that she likes your physique as it is. If you gain 100 lbs and she still loves you, then I would say, yeah, maybe she is less superficial, looks do not seem to matter to her. Girls who do drugs or drink excessively. Girls who think that partying is the only thing that really matters in life. Girls who are into money and excessive materialism. Girls who *play games*. Girls who have snotty know-it-all attitudes. I would not automatically consider someone who chooses not to get involved with these kind of girls as not superficial. Maybe he has a good common sense and would like to avoid getting into trouble. Maybe his instinct for survival is stronger than his attraction to them. Maybe they are just too lazy to play mind games. Maybe their ego is too weak to deal with girls who know everything better than them. It can be anything and it doesn't make you less superficial or a better human being. And the biggee... girls who smoke... absolute dealbreaker... absolutely no exceptions. What does not wanting to be with a smoker have to do with not being superficial? As far as your belief that romantic love between two people has a physical component... yes, there are physical components to romantic love (duh!) but my point is that a woman's height, breast size, butt size, thigh size, hip size, hair colour, eye colour, etc. do not affect the quality of that love. Those things are not going to make me fall in love with her and desire a physical relationship with her - the intangible qualities will. I think most people will not get into a relationship or stay for a longer time in it purely for superficial reasons. Most people will tell you they would not stay in a relationship with a good-looking jerk. If they stay it will be for other reasons. If there is a physical component to it, it should be allowed to pick a partner to one's preferences and likes. It's ok to discriminate and to say, this is what turns me on and this is what turns me off. I do not think there is a definite border after that someone can be considered superficial. Everybody takes his own standard and compares it to others, then anyone who is pickier and choosier concerning looks and puts less emphasis on inner values is labeled as superficial.
loony Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 'Superficial' is about falling in love BECAUSE of someone's looks. Falling in love and liking the looks of the person you love is not superficial, it's love. But if you don't like someone looks and therefore don't want to fall in love with that person, is this superficial or not? According to SmoochieFace it is.
SmoochieFace Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 Then she might not be much better than anybody else and the only reason why she is having brownie points with you is that she likes your physique as it is. If you gain 100 lbs and she still loves you, then I would say, yeah, maybe she is less superficial, looks do not seem to matter to her. I know her well enough to say that my physique has nothing to do with why she is with me. I believe she would still love me if I gained weight (or lost weight), became disabled or disfigured, or became impotent. I would not automatically consider someone who chooses not to get involved with these kind of girls as not superficial. So this means that you would think that I am superficial. Superficial not in a *looks* sense but more discerning when it comes to character... although the term *superficial* seems to be used only in connection with looks. *shrugging* Maybe he has a good common sense and would like to avoid getting into trouble. Maybe his instinct for survival is stronger than his attraction to them. Agree, except for the attraction part. I wouldn't be attracted to those types in the first place. Maybe they are just too lazy to play mind games. Maybe their ego is too weak to deal with girls who know everything better than them. It can be anything and it doesn't make you less superficial or a better human being. I take it that you are speaking of me here. This has nothing to do with being lazy - it has to do with simply not wanting to play little adolescent games with women who are supposedly *grown up*. As far as ego... I don't have much of an ego -weak or strong - so that isn't an issue either. I also do not consider myself *better* or *worse* than anyone else... how can that be determined in the first place? Everyone has flaws, strengths, and weaknesses. On the whole, everything ends up being balanced out.
alphamale Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 But if you don't like someone looks and therefore don't want to fall in love with that person, is this superficial or not? According to SmoochieFace it is. Being drawn to physically attractive people is something that is ingrained in our DNA. Anyone who denies that is a lying fool.
Author Lifestream Posted December 28, 2005 Author Posted December 28, 2005 I totally agree. I do it myself too (at least a quick judgment based on looks), there's not really a way around it. Different strokes for different folks is all I can think of, really. I mean now that I think about it this thread could read "Do people less than ideal stand a chance?" And that's pretty much everybody.
TUDOR Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 ... I mean now that I think about it this thread could read "Do people less than ideal stand a chance?" And that's pretty much everybody. Bingo! We all have our own flaws but it is getting people to see past them and see that the good out weighs the bad.
johan Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 You could go the extra mile with that question and as "would the ideal person have an easier time with relationships than anyone else?" The "too perfect" guys get rejected, too, after all (trust me). And there are plenty of gorgeous women with good values around struggling to find happiness. I think some of what you're considering flaws are necessary in order to relate to the flawed person you're trying to get with. It's actually amazing to think about the diversity of people and how it's all just huge batch of puzzle pieces that make 2-piece puzzles. You just have to keep trying pairs until you get a match. The crooked parts are where they join.
alphamale Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 And there are plenty of gorgeous women with good values around struggling to find happiness. People who have a lot to offer have the hardest times finding mates worthy of them. Attractive women who are also smart with a good job have the hardest time finding appropriate men who have the same qualities.
Lonestar Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 People who have a lot to offer have the hardest times finding mates worthy of them. Attractive women who are also smart with a good job have the hardest time finding appropriate men who have the same qualities. Amen! I can't find anyone.
loony Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 I know her well enough to say that my physique has nothing to do with why she is with me. I believe she would still love me if I gained weight (or lost weight), became disabled or disfigured, or became impotent. If you want to believe so, fine... I would not automatically consider someone who chooses not to get involved with these kind of girls as not superficial. So this means that you would think that I am superficial. Now, that was a very illogical conclusion. I hope I do not have to explain to you where the flaw in your conclusion lies. I take it that you are speaking of me here. No, just speaking in general. This has nothing to do with being lazy - it has to do with simply not wanting to play little adolescent games with women who are supposedly *grown up*. I was stating "lazy" as just a possible explanation among many why someone doesn't want to be bothered with this kind of girl.
SmoochieFace Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 Now, that was a very illogical conclusion. I hope I do not have to explain to you where the flaw in your conclusion lies. Nothing illogical about it. Your use of the double negative prompted me to say what I said.
SmoochieFace Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 If you want to believe so, fine... Why wouldn't I believe it?! You don't know my GF so where do you get off saying this? Not all women think and act alike. Don't be like Alpha and start generalising.
loony Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 Why wouldn't I believe it?! You don't know my GF so where do you get off saying this? Not all women think and act alike. Don't be like Alpha and start generalising. In answer to your complaint: And yet, most of those women will go along for the ride anyway. Why is that, may I ask? Now, that's what I call irony.
SmoochieFace Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 Now, that's what I call irony. Didn't say that ALL women do that... Now, how about answering that question since you quoted it. Why do women (NOT ALL) go along for the ride when the guy only cares about her T&A and not HER as a PERSON? Low self-esteem? Loose morals? Devil-may-care attitude? Hormones? What say you?
loony Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 Didn't say that ALL women do that... Now, how about answering that question since you quoted it. Why do women (NOT ALL) go along for the ride when the guy only cares about her T&A and not HER as a PERSON? Low self-esteem? Loose morals? Devil-may-care attitude? Hormones? What say you? Go and ask one of these women, what the hell do I know why they do something?
Author Lifestream Posted December 28, 2005 Author Posted December 28, 2005 Ok, break it up kids or I'm going to have to send you two to the corner. No need for sarcastic remarks. Let's all answer truthfully here.
SmoochieFace Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 Ok, break it up kids or I'm going to have to send you two to the corner. No need for sarcastic remarks. Let's all answer truthfully here. ... Yeah, we're all a bunch of liars here, hahahahaha...
clandestinidad Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 JEEEEZ, how many diff. threads are yall going to argue in?! Its confusing the hell out of me LOL 1
Citizen Erased Posted December 29, 2005 Posted December 29, 2005 Oh my God! An argument on an issue like height... how funny! You boys all play nice and for all of your information small guys are just as hot! I'm 5'2 so i should know it Remember there are always the short girls. Is it all that guys do to complain about size? (naughty me!) Hey, look at Jockeys,they make heaps of money and marry models and they are sometimes not even 5 foot... just cos they're small! And don't you go complaining about 5"4 cos thats teasing me about my shortness (... which I mainly get from guys may I add!) Whoever used Tom Cruise as an example though *shakes head* I can't stand him the idiot! Cheers!
Author Lifestream Posted December 29, 2005 Author Posted December 29, 2005 I think that's the thing. For some reason we've let our insecurities consume us to the point where simple teasing becomes an issue blown out of proportion. I think we just get way too defensive...I mean half the time someone teases you because they like you or see something in you. We've just distorted what's really going on into our own insecurity it seems. Hmm, this thread is helping a lot.
whichwayisup Posted December 29, 2005 Posted December 29, 2005 In answer to your complaint: Now, that's what I call irony. Exactly Loony! It is irony and I think SF just goes around post to post to make arguements with some people cuz he can. He hasn't and won't hear anything I have to say and loves to disagree with me. I could say the right answer but he'll never agree with me because it's HIS game to not agree with me. Even me posting this, will ruffle his feathers enough that he'll still disagree with me and find something else to argue about it. God, it's so tiresome!
malachai Posted December 29, 2005 Posted December 29, 2005 multiple tom cruise references and one dustin hoffman reference...hmmmm. could it have to do with the whole high-profile, hollywood star, money-making aspect? nahhhh, that couldn't possibly be it. i know plenty of women who go for the tall, dark and handsome guy, or at least say they do, and yet, even though i fall into this category (well, maybe 2.5 of the 3 categories ), i have been passed up for shorter guys because i just can't match the wit and charm they have. tall, dark and/or handsome does not automatically earn you a ticket to the show.
whichwayisup Posted December 29, 2005 Posted December 29, 2005 Which is why I go back to my original thought ... It all comes down to self confidence. If you feel good about yourself, give off positive energy and are a happy person, then people WILL flock towards you. Looks, height play a part in the play but it will only get to a point when something else has to take over. LOL that was me mentioning Hoffman. Funny guy!!
Recommended Posts