Short Men: Do we have a chance?

[Pyro]

True that. You need to be confident and comfortable with who you truly are before you are to share your time with someone else.

[blind_otter]

True that. You need to be confident and comfortable with who you truly are before you are to share your time with someone else.

 

Ideally. But most people don't. Which is why this website is so popular.

[Pyro]

That is true. I like this place. I am here to get advice and to dish out advice.

[hotchick1980]

Short guys rock! Like 5' 5" to 5' 11" is what i call short. i am 5' 3".

[Pyro]

I have heard some women complain that tall guys are either too skinny or too boney or both. Being short has its benefits.

[a4a]

Can you tell how tall a guy is when they are sitting on a bar stool?

 

I can think of several attractive short guys.

 

a4a

[clandestinidad]

Hmmm...I dont want to offend anyone, but this is just my preference:

 

I'm 5'6" and the shortest guy I've dated was about 5'10". I prefer taller guys (from 5'9" and up). I think it might be b/c my dad is 6'2 or 4, and thats what I'm used to.

 

oh yeah, I forgot that I slept with one of my best friends and he was about 5'6"...the sex wasnt anything special, so I dont know anything about those "comments about their d!(k size to make up for it"...his wasnt anything noteworthy. Maybe thats why he never commented on it...hahaha

 

anyway, my point is, I never dated the guy b/c he was 'too short'....but holy __ is he HOT!!!!

[seachange]

Short guys rock! Like 5' 5" to 5' 11" is what i call short.

 

Wow - 5'11" still counts as short???

 

I'm 5'6", and my exH was 5'4". He was one of those guys that didn't let it bother him - I think it had in the past, in high school, but by the time I met him he had plenty of confidence and never made it into a big deal...so it just never was. Still, I think he did have a bit of the Napoleon thing going on - but I didn't realize that until long after we married. While we were dating it really wasn't apparent - that's why I didn't notice.

 

I think the height thing is as often as not the guy's issue rather than the girl's. I've dated guys ranging from 5'4" to 6'6"; height means bupkis to me. But for some of the guys it was a sign of something. I don't exactly know what.

 

People are odd. Here's a funny thing: my exH's family (though not him), all of whom were below 5'6", thought I was really tall. When I dated my 6'6" boyfriend, his family (all of whom were 5'10" and above) thought I was really short. Basically, they each projected their height issues onto me - Miss Average. :rolleyes:

 

People need to get over it. >sigh<

 

But I will admit - after dealing with guys' height issues over the years, I've become a bit wary. Height doesn't matter to me, but the issues sure do. And I do wonder, when I meet a guy who is shorter than average, what sort of stuff he could be working out that might also get projected onto me.

 

Totally unfair, I know, but I'm battle-scarred by the whole stupid thing. At the very least, I'd prefer if the guy didn't bother bringing it up, defending his height, whatever, on our first date. In general, if you don't make a big deal of it, your date is a lot less likely to care. IMHO.

[Lifestream]

Okay. I only read the first page of replies, so maybe I'm repeating someone else....

 

Short men, I believe, are on the same playing field as more average or tall guys. I am a 5'2 female, and anyone over that is taller than me, so who am I to judge. I have dated both short and tall, been attracted to both short and tall.

 

Also...I'm not sure if having a come back like, "I'm big where is matters most" is very appealing. Don't do that. And many times when I girl says like, "Oh - you're short!" that's like her way of saying, "Oh - you're so cute!" without being obvious. And I know, I know, guys don't like to be called adorable or cute, but let me tell you - it's NOT a bad thing. I can be turned on by a guy who is cute and adorable, let me tell you. Any guy can make your panties wet - who cares how tall he is?

 

Act tall and stop talking about being short.

 

My friend Jennifer is a model and is over 6'0 tall. Her fiance is probably 5'5 on a good day. I notice that she has dated shorter men.

 

So there.

 

 

Hmm...actually it's not so much a comeback as it is a tease when I say I'm big where it counts, because it's quite obvious that they're thinking that I'm talking about what's downstairs. But when they respond like "aw, why did you say that?" or whatever I poke fun at them saying they have a dirty mind or tell them to get their mind out of the gutter haha.

I know a lot of girls that like that kind of challenge. But if they're really saying "you're cute" then I guess a response like that may not always be appropriate...hmm...any ideas on how to respond to that then?

[Weye]

Your going to find some women out there who don't want a man who isn't at least a certian height. You're going to find women who want as tall a man as they can find. There are some who will be putt off by men who are "too tall for them", and some who want a guy whose exactly as tall as you are. But for the vast majority of them, how tall you are isn't going to make much of a difference. What will send women running for shelter, is a man who is insecure about his height, and always asking himself if he's tall enough.

[Lifestream]

Well the whole reason I made this thread was because I'm falling for a girl who's a couple inches taller than myself. I've never been in that situation before. I'm 18 so I've only had a couple relationships in the past with smaller girls. I wanted to see a consensus before I took the plunge. And from the responses I've come to a conclusion: People have their own physical preferences. However, there are a multitude of other qualities that women enjoy seeing in a man as well. If a certain woman is well adjusted with herself then physical traits will not be the top priority but rather personality.

 

So I think I'm going to go for it. She seems like a really nice girl, and if she's secure with herself and if I am secure with myself then both of us will not put height down as a major issue.

[Walk]

I'm 4'11". Everyone's tall to me. 12 year old kids are tall. Some distracted woman at the grocery store one day yelled at me because she thought I was one of her kids. I'm hoping she was really tired that day.

 

I've only dated men who were 5'11" or 6'. I'm not sure how this happens. I meet these men sitting down, so I don't know how tall they really are while I'm getting to know them. Then one day I'll realize I really like the guy, but if I hug him, it means I've gotta hug his crotch.

 

I guess I like tall guys. They can reach the top shelves, they can pick me up to see over stuff, and if they don't hit their head then I know I won't. I wouldn't choose a partner based on height alone, but it sure adds a lot of bonus points in my book. But I'd take an intelligent, funny, caring short man, over a tall ass anyday.

 

As far as the comeback for commenting on your shortness... this might not work for a guy, but my best friend would always defend my shortness to others with the comment "great things come in small packages."

When someone comments about my stature to me, I just smile and change the subject.

I'm short. End of story. Next subject.

[johan]

...any ideas on how to respond to that then?

 

Something along the lines of "quality, not quantity" is probably the best.

[Lifestream]

Yeah, I can see where that definitely makes a lot of sense. My sister is about 5'1" and she's only dated guys who are 6'+. Some girls just happen to meet nice guys who happen to be tall. There's nothing wrong with that. It would be unfair of me to acuse someone of dating a taller guy based on height advantages alone.

[Fun2BMe]

Tom Cruise is 5'4"

It's all about the attitude, not height.

[Neptune]

Height is one thing you cannot change. So, the only thing you can do is to be at peace with your height. Go after whatever girl you are interested in and let her decide weather she can handle it or not.

 

After all, many factor beside height can determine if she is find you attractive. I don`t think it is fair to the average bloke to use famous people as examples though.

 

There was an article I read about picking up women where Gene Simmons was used as an example of a pick up artist. They spent an afternoon at a mall with him and used his success as an example. Come on! This kind of thing is almost insulting to the down and out guy.

[Lonestar]

Tom Cruise is 5'4"

It's all about the attitude, not height.

 

 

Tom is only 5'4"? I thought he was taller than that. I think he's a dork regardless of height, but I typically will not date men shorter than 5'8" and I prefer them around 5'10" to 6'. I'm 5'2" Taller men make me feel more feminine and safer. I don't know why. Probably has to do with that psychological father figure. When I'm with shorter men, I get the feeling of being with a child. I have NO idea why.

[SmoochieFace]

And some men feel very uncomfortable dating women that are taller than them.

 

Height doesn't matter to me. It has absolutely no bearing on the quality of the relationship.

 

 

I know SF disagrees with me, but it still comes down to confidence level and being comfortable with WHO you are.

 

Well, s***, guess what? You're right, I disagree with you.

 

Experience says differently for me. All the confidence in the universe has not *balanced out* or otherwise deleted the height issue with the vast majority of women I have approached. These women were more into the physical aspects and they also subscribed to some ridiculous stereotypes about short men. Their loss in the end.

 

Now, at 37, I am finally with someone who doesn't reek of adolescent immaturity when it comes to men and relationships. She's the winner and all those dummies who passed me up are (hopefully) stuck with TDH drunks, cheats, and crooks.

 

Of course, it does help that she is older than me.

 

Oh, and she's shorter than me as well.

[loony]

Oh, and she's shorter than me as well.

So what makes her less superficial than other women who rejected you because they were taller than you?

 

And I also find it hypocritical when people complain that they got rejected by others. Let me ask you, do you not have any kind of criteria when you select a mate? If a woman of 4 foot approached you (maybe she had a genetic disorder) who weighted 200 lbs, would you still consider dating her? If you don't, you're superficial and a hypocrite.

 

Also, maybe they just were not convinced of your personality enough to overlook the issue with your height.

[SmoochieFace]

So what makes her less superficial than other women who rejected you because they were taller than you?

 

First off, I never said that those women who rejected me were all taller than me. Some were shorter... most were about the same height... maybe a couple were taller but not by much.

 

What makes my current GF less superficial? She chose me based on my character, my attentiveness, and my intellect. Nothing whatsoever to do with height or any other physical attributes.

 

And I also find it hypocritical when people complain that they got rejected by others. Let me ask you, do you not have any kind of criteria when you select a mate? If a woman of 4 foot approached you (maybe she had a genetic disorder) who weighted 200 lbs, would you still consider dating her? If you don't, you're superficial and a hypocrite.

 

Physical criteria really do not matter to me. I am not interested in a woman's measurements because, as I stated earlier, do not have any bearing on the quality of a relationship. Whether she is short or tall does not matter.

 

As far as your hypothetical... if she is interesting, has a good personality, is fun to be around, is honest and of good character then I see no reason why she doesn't deserve a chance with me. So much for being a superficial hypocrite.

 

Also, maybe they just were not convinced of your personality enough to overlook the issue with your height.

 

The fact that height is an issue for them in the first place demonstrates superficiality on their part. I should not have to *overcome* height with anything... the intangible qualities should matter regardless of height.

[loony]

What makes my current GF less superficial? She chose me based on my character, my attentiveness, and my intellect. Nothing whatsoever to do with height or any other physical attributes.

Are you sure she would have dated a 4 foot midget?

 

As far as your hypothetical... if she is interesting, has a good personality, is fun to be around, is honest and of good character then I see no reason why she doesn't deserve a chance with me. So much for being a superficial hypocrite.

The fact that height is an issue for them in the first place demonstrates superficiality on their part. I should not have to *overcome* height with anything... the intangible qualities should matter regardless of height.

Then kudos to you, you are a true exception. My personal belief is that everybody must be superficial in some way, because romantic love between two people also includes a physical component. True, spiritual and untainted love would have to be platonic.

[alphamale]

My personal belief is that everybody must be superficial in some way,

I would agree with that LOONEY.

[SmoochieFace]

Are you sure she would have dated a 4 foot midget?

 

She may or may not do that. That is for her to decide.

 

 

Then kudos to you, you are a true exception. My personal belief is that everybody must be superficial in some way, because romantic love between two people also includes a physical component. True, spiritual and untainted love would have to be platonic.

 

I am choosy when it comes to character, not looks. So, in a way, I can be labelled as *superficial* but in a different way.

 

I do not care for...

 

*Bad* girls.

Girls who do drugs or drink excessively.

Girls who think that partying is the only thing that really matters in life.

Girls who are into money and excessive materialism.

Girls who *play games*.

Girls who have snotty know-it-all attitudes.

 

And the biggee... girls who smoke... absolute dealbreaker... absolutely no exceptions.

 

As far as your belief that romantic love between two people has a physical component... yes, there are physical components to romantic love (duh!) but my point is that a woman's height, breast size, butt size, thigh size, hip size, hair colour, eye colour, etc. do not affect the quality of that love. Those things are not going to make me fall in love with her and desire a physical relationship with her - the intangible qualities will.

[Outcast]

everybody must be superficial in some way, because romantic love between two people also includes a physical component

 

'Superficial' is about falling in love BECAUSE of someone's looks. Falling in love and liking the looks of the person you love is not superficial, it's love.

[SmoochieFace]

'Superficial' is about falling in love BECAUSE of someone's looks.

 

And I see plenty of that going on. Girls will see a guy, think he's *good looking*, and go ga-ga. Not even a moment's thought to the dude's character.