Hyacinth123 Posted December 27, 2005 Posted December 27, 2005 Guys do you ever allow yourself to become so afraid of rejection that you chicken out completely? I can understand if initially the guy is intimidated by a girl… but how can you obviously like someone yet never make a move.
SmoochieFace Posted December 27, 2005 Posted December 27, 2005 It's not so much the fear of rejection. It's more about not doing the same thing (approaching women) over and over again if it has failed. I quit approaching way back in college when I came to the realization that it never worked and that continuing to do so would only bring more frustration. I simply got tired of it. Some guys are more content with having women approach them.
salmagundi Posted December 27, 2005 Posted December 27, 2005 In any case, do you like him? Great...then go approach him... salmagundi
Lifestream Posted December 27, 2005 Posted December 27, 2005 It's sort of "You're damned if you do, you're damned if you don't" idea that is going through his head. He's probably thinking he's no worse off now without approaching than if he did approach you. At least he could save face. But make the first move, he should approach you after that. If he doesn't then there's a problem there.
confusedgeek Posted December 27, 2005 Posted December 27, 2005 All the time. I have a real hard time to approaching females. Its not like I can go up to someone I dont know and start a conversation. Its pretty awkward. Id probably say something stupid like, "hey, how about that george w. bush?" Why do people like someone they dont know? Is this the question your asking? Hmm... there could be lots of reasons. It could be because of how they look. It could be because of what hobbies they like. It could be the sound of the voice. It could be the way they look at you. Either way, its not easy. Because: 1) It might make me look like a dork 2) Its borderline harrassment (legally) 3) it feels like im gonna turn into a stalker 4) i dont like to get hurt
Lifestream Posted December 27, 2005 Posted December 27, 2005 But at the same time, why can't you approach someone you don't know? I mean, not everyone approaches a person with a romantic interest involved. You have to make friends somehow, and before certain people were your friends they were obviously strangers. But I agree, if it is romantically then all bets are off. There's a bunch of reasons here. A girl eyed me about ten times on a ten minute bus ride and I caught her most of the time. But my thought was "Is this really going to get anywhere? She likes how I look, but will that be it?" It's like guys need total assurance and a big flashing neon light lol. "I LIKE YOU"
SmoochieFace Posted December 27, 2005 Posted December 27, 2005 It's like guys need total assurance and a big flashing neon light lol. "I LIKE YOU" Completely agree!
mrB2006 Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 With my situation, I didn't make a move because a)I WAS terrified of being rejected and b)I was so self-aware of myself (I was afraid I would make an arse of myself). In retrospect, I should have taken charge and let her know. I know that I came across as a coward. (Didn't mean to, but I did). If you like the guy, then make a move yourself. Believe me, he is probably very shy or very self-aware. mrB
Weye Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 A lot of guys have a really hard time approaching women they are interested in. Maybe he's decided that he likes you, and that he wants to be with you, he tells himself that he's going to make his move, but at the last minute his internal voice speaks up and gives him 20 reasons not to. Maybe he's run through his mind time and time again what he's going to say to you when he goes for it, but when you're standing there, right in front of him, he loses his words. It happens to the best of them. He wants to move forward, but keeps putting it off until finally, he realizes that he's missed his chance. He let his best chance slip through his fingers. Now he's slapping himself on the head every time he thinks about how close he was, and what he's lost. Years later when he's out drinking with his buds, he brings it up as the topic of 'guys night out' has moved to f*([-ups and missed opportunities... the ones they'd like to have back. And everyone there has their own version of the same story. Some of them have two or three. And phrases like 'If I'd been in that situation TODAY, I'd...' come up right and left. Its natural for a guy, especially a younger one, to be intimidated by the concept of rejection, and to be reluctant to approach women. Maybe he'll build up the courage to do it, maybe he won't. The best way to deal with this? Make the first move. What do you have to lose?
Yamaha Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 Is he a friend? Many times a guy will hold back with a gal he likes if he feels the interest might get him into more trouble than it's worth. He might like you but doesn't want to take the risk of losing your friendship. This is why I never become friends ( now ) with a gal I have a romantic interest in. If he's not a friend then he's either just shy or doesn't have enough interest to ask.
sparticuss Posted December 29, 2005 Posted December 29, 2005 Guys do you ever allow yourself to become so afraid of rejection that you chicken out completely? I can understand if initially the guy is intimidated by a girl… but how can you obviously like someone yet never make a move. Oh my god girl!. Where have you been lately? Havent you had a look atthe current crop of rape, stalking and harassment laws. He isn't going to make a mover becaues ITS ILLEGAL TO MAKE A MOVE. Start and end of story. You may be the last person on the planet to press charges against guys hwo make a move on you. But you havent told them that have you. And the rest of your sisters press charges with a vengance. There's a folder on something called "backhanded compliments" and the atitude problems in there will give you an idea of the disgusting attitudes most female have towards guys who make a move on them. For all the condemnation of violence against women these girls had so little respect for men that they were all advising one another to slap any guys, making a move on them, in the face. Now rreally think long and hard about this Hya. Guys are NOT making moves any more. It's illegal and its policed. Silly silly girl. Stop living in the past.
phyrespryte Posted December 29, 2005 Posted December 29, 2005 There's a folder on something called "backhanded compliments" and the atitude problems in there will give you an idea of the disgusting attitudes most female have towards guys who make a move on them. For all the condemnation of violence against women these girls had so little respect for men that they were all advising one another to slap any guys, making a move on them, in the face. Now rreally think long and hard about this Hya. Guys are NOT making moves any more. It's illegal and its policed. Um... a backhanded compliment isn't a very nice way of making a move on a girl. It's not like a guy coming up to a girl and giving her a cheeesy pickup line. It's more like seeking out a person's weakness and manipulating them for your personal benefit. If a guy wants to make a move I'm all for it. I've got alot of respect for a guy who does that. Someone has this great sig that says something about women having to act like men b/c men aren't behaving like men. And that's how I feel about the situation lately. I'm so sick of being the one to make the first move. I don't like the all the doubts and fears. And rejection doesn't feel good. So kudos to a man who makes the first move.
Author Hyacinth123 Posted December 29, 2005 Author Posted December 29, 2005 Oh my god girl!. Where have you been lately? Havent you had a look atthe current crop of rape, stalking and harassment laws. He isn't going to make a mover becaues ITS ILLEGAL TO MAKE A MOVE. Start and end of story. You may be the last person on the planet to press charges against guys hwo make a move on you. But you havent told them that have you. And the rest of your sisters press charges with a vengance. There's a folder on something called "backhanded compliments" and the atitude problems in there will give you an idea of the disgusting attitudes most female have towards guys who make a move on them. For all the condemnation of violence against women these girls had so little respect for men that they were all advising one another to slap any guys, making a move on them, in the face. Now rreally think long and hard about this Hya. Guys are NOT making moves any more. It's illegal and its policed. Silly silly girl. Stop living in the past. Sparticuss: I have no clue what you are talking about?!? Anyway there’s more to my story… You see this guy and I got along great. Yet, he never let on that he liked me “romantically” speaking. I wasn’t aware of his interest until I heard thru a friend recently, a year later, how much he talked about me and was dying to ask me out. I had no clue of this. If he had asked, I would have said yes. I didn’t pursue him because I hadn’t formed the feelings he had for me…yet. If I felt the way he did I would have made the first move. I can’t understand why he didn't though he evidently had such strong feelings.
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