pfeif216 Posted December 27, 2005 Posted December 27, 2005 Hello, So i just wanted to get some advice on this.....Im a young gay guy who experienced my first "real" relationship this past year. This guy was about 9 yrs. older but a really great guy..he did wind up breakin my heart but we left on pretty good terms....i did run into him about 2 mos. after the breakup and he was drinkin a bit and told me he still loved me and missed me and may have made a huge mistake.....I thought we may be back on the road to fixin the relationship but a week later he told me he did want to see me but didnt want an emotional attachment in his life at that time in his life. He also was afraid of hurting me and if we were to start seeing each other we had to be open and honest about everything(that's when he told me about the attachment thing)....anyway, i decided to tell him that i could not see him so casually b/c i was pretty much goin crazy at that time(lost weight, depressed etc....) but didnt tell him how bad i was. so i was pretty good about not talkin to him, one night i did drunk text him but other than that no contact for about 3 mos. on xmas, he sent me a text saying, "merry xmas, hope ur doin well"...i prob. shouldn't have responded but i did and wrote "u too...hope ur enjoyin the time with the fam" anyway im just so confused b/c it took me so long to get better and then this happens and i dont know what to do....sorry for writing so much..some feedback would be great
slubberdegullion Posted December 27, 2005 Posted December 27, 2005 Gay or straight, the fundamentals remain the same. NC (no contact) is the only method that I know of - short of homicide, of which the local constabulary takes a rather dim view - that allows both parties to get on with their lives and release the bitterness that often comes about at the end of a relationship. And, gay or straight, when NC is broken, at least one of the parties suffers a setback. The xmas message was just that; a quick hello, hope you're well, etc etc. I wouldn't read any more into it than that.
Author pfeif216 Posted December 27, 2005 Author Posted December 27, 2005 thanks for the response...its just weird b/c he tried to contact me after our breakup and i told him i couldnt be friends and ive made it clear after that how i feel and he would never want to hurt me....that's why i was wondering why the text
LexiB Posted December 27, 2005 Posted December 27, 2005 "...why the text" because humans are stupid. we often do things without thinking of the implications the actions might have on the other party. Like slubberdegullion said, the text was just a text. It was christmas and you guys obviously meant a lot to each other...I'm sure he thought sending you a seasons greetings text was the right thing to do and not that it would hurt you more. Let it go. He'll probably send more of what he thinks are "harmless" messages. Unless he texts or better yet, comes to see you in person and tells you flat out, "I want to give our relationship another chance starting right now", try not to give much thought to anything else he says ( I KNOW it's hard ). Honestly you'll make yourself sick trying to find hidden meanings behind every little thing. you'll be ok ~ good luck
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