LondonBoy Posted December 25, 2005 Posted December 25, 2005 Broke up with my gf after nearly four years three weeks ago...we haven't been speaking for two weeks (at her request), and I'm wondering whether I should send her a text or give her a call today. Reconciliation doesn't seem possible, and whilst today has been awful for me, I know her well enough to know that it will be tough for her too. So I'm thinking of contacting her just to wish her a happy Christmas and to give her my sincere best wishes. I'm not trying to play games or screw with her head...any opinions out there? Hope you're all having a great Christmas (or at least, better than mine...) LondonBoy
slubberdegullion Posted December 25, 2005 Posted December 25, 2005 No, don't contact her. There's no upside at all. You'll just end up feeling s***ty.
Author LondonBoy Posted December 25, 2005 Author Posted December 25, 2005 No, she broke it with me - at a complete surprise (for me anyway), by email. Obviously that doesn't make her sound good but she's the greatest girl and she doesn't like to deal with confrontation. I think she would have communicated with me by now if she felt that I wouldn't tell her that I think she's a b*tch for breaking up with me etc. And I would like to make her feel a little better about things because the decision has been equally difficult for her. I agree that it might make me feel ****ty. But I was very angry with her (obviously), and she has seen that, and perhaps I feel that at this time of year I should have a bit of forgivenesss. Or perhaps I'm just a complete idiot....
travellingman Posted December 25, 2005 Posted December 25, 2005 Or perhaps I'm just a complete idiot.... You are if you call her.
Lonestar Posted December 25, 2005 Posted December 25, 2005 Leave her alone and don't you dare call. She made it clear she doesn't want any contact right now, so calling under the pretense to wish her a Merry Christmas is an EXCUSE! She broke up with you, and if she wants to talk, she has as much capability to pick up the phone as she did when she said goodbye to you in an email. If you call her, you forfeit your dignity. My ex sent me a Christmas card afer I told him to stop contacting me. He broke up with me, and then started finding stupid reasons to contact me, not to face the problems or admit he screwed up, but just to see if I was still there in the wings, and would still respond to him. He claims he was trying to be a nice guy, wish me well, ask me questions about our kid. Then I get the card. It took all of my power to ignore it, or not right f*ck you on it and mail it back. We have a kid, so it's worse for me. I can't never ever see him, and the holidays always make for some form of lovely contact. Leave her alone and get on with your life. You can do it. Every form of contact is only a setback in your healing process.
Author LondonBoy Posted December 26, 2005 Author Posted December 26, 2005 Ok, I didn't call her. I'm sure that you guys are absolutely right. I gave up smoking about three months ago and this situation seems very similar - trying to break a cycle of behaviour which, although it feels comforting, *will* impact negatively upon me in the future. So thanks for your advice. Your support is awesome.
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