x-mas-blues Posted December 25, 2005 Posted December 25, 2005 Hi all...and MERRY CHRISTMAS! =) I just have a quick question. My girlfriend broke up with me about 1 month ago. And I can't get over her still. We were on NC for 2 weeks when she IM'S me saying merry christmas. Well I have e-mailed her and asked if we would ever get back together in the future...for a long story short. She replies not saying yes or no, but a "you never know what the future holds" I am NOT looking into this...but a part of me still believes there is hope in her heart...and of course mine.. Does anyone have an objection to me still sending her e-mails?
Salmagundi Posted December 26, 2005 Posted December 26, 2005 Hey Christmas blues, I'm no expert on these matters, but I am living the same thing as you, being ambiguously broken up with a confused ex sending mixed signals and yadder, yadder yadder... This is what I think. Where there is life, there is hope. Anyway, you can't just shut down your feellings for your ex anymore than I can for mine. But you do have to be realistic. In my case, holding out hope for an ex who may or may not come back (but hasn't yet, lots of mixed signals aside) keeps you from moving on with your own life. She will know this as well. I think after a breakup the most important thing is not to go chasing all desperately/needily after your ex. The most important thing is to put you first and worry about healing yourself and thinking about where you go now. If in the process she comes back, great. She may come back in part because she sees you're doing well and have your **** well in hand, etc. Iif she doesn't come back, you're already well on the road to recovery and to getting over her. If, on the other hand, you decide to wait in the wings for her you will not heal, you will not get over her and if she doesn't come around, you will hurt all the worse. I know this because I've been doing this up 'till now. I've been dancing on the end of string for her. If you chase after her, shower her with call/emails, implore her to come back, you will give her all the power in this decision (to get back together or not.) It's your decision, too. Move on and see if she follows. If she doesn't, forget about it. Careful sending any emails. You will regret and feel stupid for sending them immediately after you click "send". I know, I've done that too... I think that ambiguity from an ex is dangerous because it could well stem from regret about the breakup and a (possible) desire to get back together (i mean, that does happen all the time) It could also be about keeping options open, about keeping you around, about making sure you don't get with somebody new before she safely has etc. Don't discount, but DEFINITELY don't place too much stock in it. Write your email if you must. But before you send it, sleep on it, reread it in the morning, make sure you are not making an ass of yourself and then...dont send it anyway.... She broke your relationship, it's up to her to fix it, not you. Hope this helps somewhat, tell me how it works out. Read my thread under "salmagundi" and tell me what you think in return if you like. Merry ex-mas, salmagundi
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