huh? Posted December 24, 2005 Posted December 24, 2005 i want to ask this guy out i think he likes me but i'm sooooooooooo scared he'll say no how do i get over my fears please help i need pep talk:o
Becoming Posted December 24, 2005 Posted December 24, 2005 What's the worst thing you could imagine happening if he said no? And so what? Will you die? No. But what will happen if you don't ask him? You'll let fear run your life, and soon it will take over and hold you in thrall. Then you'll hate yourself. And who wants to live with that? What the hey if he says no?
sparticuss Posted December 25, 2005 Posted December 25, 2005 i want to ask this guy out i think he likes me but i'm sooooooooooo scared he'll say no how do i get over my fears please help i need pep talk:o Pep talk huh! Welcome to real equality m dear. For all the "so called feminism" thats been spouted over the last half centrury the girls still havent bought that equality into the dating game. If a guy asks a girl out and she doens't fancy then then "piss arrrrffff ya creep " still remains a socially acceptable way of saying no. Crikey! Get a real serious bitch and she can , legally press stalking charges. Your fear that he will say no is such a totally mild version of the same thing that it barely even rates a mention. I've even had girls abuse me, for trying to "pick them " up, when I've just been yakking to them about this that and the other same as I yak to the guys.
Author huh? Posted December 26, 2005 Author Posted December 26, 2005 ummmm so are you saying to just suck it up and ask him???? :confused:
Tangerina Posted December 26, 2005 Posted December 26, 2005 Just suck it up and ask him.... I had a huge crush on my best friend for about 4 months and he knew it and I knew it and everyone knew it and he led me on a bit but in my heart I knew he didn't really like me in the same way but I would never really ask him because I was so afraid of him saying no, so I suffered for 4 months... then finally I got up my courage and just said "look, you know I have feelings for you, how do you feel?" and, as I suspected, he said he loved me as a friend but didn't really want more.... and I thought all fo those 4 months that hearing that would be crushing but I felt so releived to just be done with the waiting... yah, it sucked, but it also felt really good and I moved on and we stayed friends.... Just sharing my story, in your case it sounds like he might actually like you so you have a lot more to gain than I had but no more to lose than I had, I swear you will not be disappointed in the long run either way....
Author huh? Posted December 27, 2005 Author Posted December 27, 2005 well this is my story there is this guy at my school i like him and he is really nice to me and i have dreams about us going out and being a couple he is single so am i and it seems every where i go he's therelike if i drink at the water founten so does he if we get to choose what we want to do for recess i pick 4 squar and all his friends pick basketball he is at the 4 squar with me and in class at the corner of my eye i see him looking at me and at lunch he omes up to me and my friends and says hi and all but i dono if i should ask him out or not last time i asked a guy out he rejected me it really hurt me and i don't want that to happen with this guy he is practitcly all i think about i'm a teen and he is just running through my mind i think he likes me but i thpought that other guy liked me 2 turnes out he didn't I felt real mad and i don't wana put myself throught it again untill i'm at least 80% sure i have a chance with him so do you guys think he likes me???
targetbag Posted December 27, 2005 Posted December 27, 2005 I still don't know enough to know whether he likes you or not, but my advice is still to pursue it, if you like him. Are you friends with any of his friends? If you are, you could arrange to go to a movie or something, and both of you could be there. Also, strike up a conversation with him. Tell him you noticed how good he is at basketball, and whether he plays on a team. Say you like his shirt and ask him where he got it, something like that. Then go from there. Good luck! I know it's hard! I never had the nerve to ask a guy out, and sometimes wonder what could've been if I'd just done it!
mattea Posted December 27, 2005 Posted December 27, 2005 I think we can only trust our intuitions. There are no guarentees! It definitely sounds like he likes you. If you catch him looking at you like that and he keeps "appearing" in your space - those are good signs. I know it's hard after putting yourself out there and getting rejected, but don't distrust your gut feeling just because you were wrong once. It's not easy, i understand. I went through the same thing recently... I got up the nerve and now we're dating! Sparticuss, i hear what your saying, and I've thought about it a lot lately. We can't only ask for equality when it's convenient/easy for us! I am guilty of pretty much letting the guy be the pursurer most of the time. When I was trying to get up the nerve to ask this guy out recently, I really could appreciate how hard that role is for men! However, one thing I'd ask you to consider that makes it challenging for women is that some guys say they don't like girls who initiate or ask them out. They want to feel like they are doing the pursuing/chasing and winning the girl over. I've seen posts on this forum from guys who say if a girl makes it too obvious she really likes him right away then they won't consider that girl for a serious relationship! I had to decide for myself that if a guy has that attitude I don't really want to be with him anyway!
country gal Posted December 27, 2005 Posted December 27, 2005 Pep talk huh! If a guy asks a girl out and she doens't fancy then then "piss arrrrffff ya creep " still remains a socially acceptable way of saying no. Crikey! I've even had girls abuse me, for trying to "pick them " up, when I've just been yakking to them about this that and the other same as I yak to the guys. i smell some bitterness. i'm sorry that thats been your experience but maybe you should try approaching some more mellow and cool chicks. not one of my friends ever cut a man down that approached her - and they are frickin hot sexy bitches. cut us ladies some slack dude - the approach is not easy for anyone! ok back on track.... girl, go for it! sounds like he really digs you but is shy! i think you'll be surprised at the results! (ps. i just asked out a man last month - same situation, lots of flirting but no action- he seemd shy so i went for it - and its going pretty well i must say!) good luck!
Recommended Posts