gordon_gc Posted December 24, 2005 Posted December 24, 2005 xmas time...happy people in happy setting sharing happy moment. Where is my part of the fun ? I am French living in Australia. My Australian gf broke up with me 1 1/2 months ago. We were together for a bit more than a year. It was a really tough and suprising situation I had to deal with with my final exams coming up but still, I made it throught and got graduated. During that 1 1/2 months, I can say I have been extremely weak (especially at the beginning) but also quite strong...only problem ? All the effort and improvement I have made have dissapear at a blink of an eye with Xmas time. The last 10 days, I did strict NC to be able to cope with the break up and find more about myself. During that time, she tried to call me 8 times but I never answered. I was upset she didnt come to my graduation and really needed to re-discover myself. Friday 23 December, I took the decision to call her back as I was emotionally stable (I think I am better than before). Obviously, she didn't answer (come on, I never answered the last 8 calls). I left a civil message asking her to call me back. Xmas eve: she didn't call... Xmas Day: nothing yet. Gosh, I am so upset and sad I can't share the joy of Xmas with the people I love (her and her family). Do you think I should try again today just to wish Merry Xmas or should I wait for her to call ? How should I cope with the situation ??? I want her back but don't know what to do
Becoming Posted December 24, 2005 Posted December 24, 2005 Go visit a nursing home where the elderly are forgotten and forget about her.
Author gordon_gc Posted December 24, 2005 Author Posted December 24, 2005 Go visit a nursing home where the elderly are forgotten and forget about her. I would actually expect more constructive comments to help me go throught this tought time. Something else, if she doesnt contact me, does it mean she doesnt care at all ??
I'm No Superman Posted December 25, 2005 Posted December 25, 2005 I, myself, am going through the same thing. The ex initiated contact 4 weeks ago, I responded and she never called, texted, e-mailed back/again. She hasn't contacted me yet and I doubt she will. I know that she cares about me and somehow she's thinking about me. If they don't contact it doesn't necessarily mean they don't care. I'm not contacting her right now but it doesn't mean I don't care. I just choose not to contact because I don't want to initiate it and be left with no response.. especially on Christmas. I just know that if she doesn't respond it will crush me, it will drive me up the wall, and this whole week will be ruined because of one call, one text, one e-mail that she couldn't make. It's better this way. If she contacts me great, if not.. I'll just have to suck it up than be twice as miserable as I am now. If you really want to call, go ahead and do it. Just be prepared for the consequences. It would really suck if she doesn't respond. But hey, live and learn.
Author gordon_gc Posted December 25, 2005 Author Posted December 25, 2005 I' date=' myself, am going through the same thing. The ex initiated contact 4 weeks ago, I responded and she never called, texted, e-mailed back/again. She hasn't contacted me yet and I doubt she will. I know that she cares about me and somehow she's thinking about me. If they don't contact it doesn't necessarily mean they don't care. I'm not contacting her right now but it doesn't mean I don't care. I just choose not to contact because I don't want to initiate it and be left with no response.. especially on Christmas. I just know that if she doesn't respond it will crush me, it will drive me up the wall, and this whole week will be ruined because of one call, one text, one e-mail that she couldn't make. It's better this way. If she contacts me great, if not.. I'll just have to suck it up than be twice as miserable as I am now.[/quote'] I perfectly know the feeling you describe. Yes, I am bloody scare of initiating this call and not getting an answer. I realise I actually also really scare of getting an answer !!! I just hate that feeling. I know I should be strong and not doing it anyway but still, that little voice in my voice is pushing me to do it...I still have a few hours to think about it and maybe a few more post to read before making a final decision. Please guys, feel free to describe your experiences, your advices...anything is good to take !
Christina1977 Posted December 25, 2005 Posted December 25, 2005 Hey There... I read alot of your stuff last night. I am from Seattle Washington, and this Christmas Even feeling alot like you. I am the one who posted the HELLPP BROKEN HEART one. I know my situation isn't exactly the same as yours, but there are other factors that I didn't include which has intensified my pain. I'm not in any position to give advice right now, but Want to say that I'm glad someone out there knows how I feel tonight too.... Im in NC with him right now, it's been 3 days, I'm dying. I know I have to be strong. It hurts. I don't know if after the 2 months he will see me different or not. HOw can I be friends?? It will hurt too much. I feel like it's a lose lose situation for me.... I too was depressed tonight at my family's thing. I wish I could enjoy things right now... it's impossible!!!! I"m actually on here right now So I won't be home crying my eyes out...... Christina
Author gordon_gc Posted December 25, 2005 Author Posted December 25, 2005 I finally took the decision to contact her and wish a Merry Xmas. I dont know if i did the right thing by doing so but I did what my heart told me to do. Not contacting her would have been percieved as if I was mad at her and this is not the image I wanted to send. I wanted to send an image of someone enough stable in his head so he can contact without having to think about what he does. Am i clear ? ;-) I sent a text to make sure I wouldnt be dissapointed by her not answering her phone and to allow her some time to respond. I kept my message as civil as possible and I believe I did the right thing by not being immature. If she doesnt want to answer, that is fine (i'll be checking my mobile every five minutes though ;-) The time she will need and take to answer, if she decides to do so, will be a sign for me that I have to move on. About staying friend, I don't think it is the right thing to do. I believe it is better contact to a minimum and show sign of someone strong. I'll keep you update about my feelings.
Author gordon_gc Posted December 25, 2005 Author Posted December 25, 2005 quick update...she texted me back which is a good thing...I am not expecting anything but at least, we can have normal contacts now. She said she wasnt sure she could contact me as she thought I was upset. (I was). Anyway, she'll call tomorrow so we'll see.
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