lost/found? Posted December 24, 2005 Posted December 24, 2005 My Live-in girlfriend of 5 years recently broke up with me after a 2 week vacation. When she returned home she dropped the bomb on me that she no longer wanted to be with me and also said that she made out with a guy 2 nights in a row while there. I loved this girl with all of my heart and now i am left with nothing. I lost my job, girl, house, dog and all of my possesions due to this break-up. I tried foolishly to get her back for the past 2 months to no avail and lost alot of dignity and self respect in the process. I had some money invested in the house not a whole lot but enough to get me back on my feet. Also I have left the car insurance in my name saving her approximately $200 a month. I was wondering when the right time to try and clear up all of the finacial issues and untangle our lives would be. I don't want to seem petty towards her and i don't believe i would be doing it out of spite. At first i told her not to worry about any of this because i was trying to get her back but now i realize that will not happen. Is it better to wait awhile or would it be better to get all of that out of the way and move on without looking back. Why should she get everything? I know i wasn't perfect but she did cheat on me I guess. Any advice would be greatly apprecited!
Author lost/found? Posted December 24, 2005 Author Posted December 24, 2005 Another thing, by doing this would i lose all chances of a reconcilliation or would it show her that i at least have some self respect and maybe that might give me another chance. She says she does not feel the same way about me anymore and is not interested in trying to make things work right now. She wants to want me and i guess she doesn't. Although she says she would like nothing more then for it to work out between us and she has to work on herself right now.
In Sync Posted December 24, 2005 Posted December 24, 2005 I'm not sure about what is in her name exactly and what's in yours, and all the legality of that and how it effects you and your credit, but if you can cut all ties from her and rebuild your LIFE without contact her please avoid any and all contact with her. This girl wants nothing more to do with you. I don't care what she offers you in terms of friendship or civility...she wants out. For the love of god, see that and walk away from her. You lost your job, dog, house, self respect and dignity.. Your story with her is OVER. Look at your life as needing emergency care. You have no time to even think about her. It's about getting your S**T together. Reclaiming everything back, starting with your dignity. And I repeat it's over with her so don't go looking for anything from her to get yourself respect and thereby your life back. It's going to damn hard..for sure, but you don't have a choice. She is not your life preserver..get it? Comprende?
Author lost/found? Posted December 24, 2005 Author Posted December 24, 2005 In order to cut ties I will need to be in contact with her, there is no other way, we can be civil towards each other but why should i let her keep the investment in the house and be saving her money. What if she gets in an accident that will affect my insurance rates for years to come. I have been having a hard time moving on because there are so many life changing decisions to make all at once. I tried too hard to get back what i had because i guess it was easier to try and salvage what i had than look into the abyss that is now my situation. "when one door of happiness closes another opens but often we look so long at the closed door we do not see the one that has opened for us"
In Sync Posted December 24, 2005 Posted December 24, 2005 In order to cut ties I will need to be in contact with her, there is no other way, we can be civil towards each other but why should i let her keep the investment in the house and be saving her money. What if she gets in an accident that will affect my insurance rates for years to come. I have been having a hard time moving on because there are so many life changing decisions to make all at once. I tried too hard to get back what i had because i guess it was easier to try and salvage what i had than look into the abyss that is now my situation. "when one door of happiness closes another opens but often we look so long at the closed door we do not see the one that has opened for us" Ok, I understand that you need to settle this insurance business, etc. But is this a conversation you need to have or can it be done through a letter, and handled business like. Is this a situation where you need to consult legal aide and/or a lawyer, before making or requesting something from her she may not feel like doing. What if she's not cooperative? I'm just saying, a combination of your emotional state and needing to finalize things officially are going to clash. Do not lie to yourself by using this as another way to "communicate" with her. And there was a wedge before this, that wedge can get bigger if she feels you are reversing your offer out of spite. Again do you papers with signature and other proof that you can say this was an arrangement based on our "in good times relationship?" If you MUST contact her, be all about business, and not 'let's be friends and catch up on what's happening in your life now and oh by the way can we get together.' I think when you start contact with her... your vulnerability will kick in and you'll be back at square 1. You will be basically dependant on what her reaction is to all of this...again you'll be at her mercy. I don't see this at a win win situation for you at all. sorry.
In Sync Posted December 24, 2005 Posted December 24, 2005 In order to cut ties I will need to be in contact with her, there is no other way, we can be civil towards each other but why should i let her keep the investment in the house and be saving her money. What if she gets in an accident that will affect my insurance rates for years to come. I have been having a hard time moving on because there are so many life changing decisions to make all at once. I tried too hard to get back what i had because i guess it was easier to try and salvage what i had than look into the abyss that is now my situation. "when one door of happiness closes another opens but often we look so long at the closed door we do not see the one that has opened for us" Ok, I understand that you need to settle this insurance business, etc. But is this a conversation you need to have or can it be done through a letter, and handled business like. Is this a situation where you need to consult legal aide and/or a lawyer, before making or requesting something from her she may not feel like doing. What if she's not cooperative? I'm just saying, a combination of your emotional state and needing to finalize things officially are going to clash. Do not lie to yourself by using this as another way to "communicate" with her. And there was a wedge before this, that wedge can get bigger if she feels you are reversing your offer out of spite. Again do you papers with signature and other proof that you can say this was an arrangement based on our "in good times relationship?" If you MUST contact her, be all about business, and not 'let's be friends and catch up on what's happening in your life now and oh by the way can we get together.' I think when you start contact with her... your vulnerability will kick in and you'll be back at square 1. You will be basically dependant on what her reaction is to all of this...again you'll be at her mercy. I don't see this at a win win situation for you at all. sorry.
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