His family absolutely hates me & tries to break us up!

[BlacknessOfSleep]

Here's a little background before I start asking questions:

Though our relationship had an incredibly odd start, we were best friends from the start. We are both under 20, and he is a little younger than me, but at first it wasn't an issue. His mother and I became very close friends, but regretfully, she died last year, and that's when all hell broke loose for us. His father is an alcoholic and after his latest DUI, he was forced to move in with his mother's parents. They are wannabe uppity people who think they're too good for most people. After his mom died and he had to move, I decided to move as well because of my own family issues and go to nursing school and live in the same town as him. So I got my own apartment and manage to support myself somehow. Both of our families are fairly well off, his no more than mine (though they believe so), and so neither of us ever though it would be an issue for his family. Anyway, his mother's parents think that I'm not good enough for him and they strongly believe that I "manipulate him like a puppet" and that I am just using him (for what, I ask?). The thing is, after he met me, his grades went from C's and D's to A's, he stopped dressing like a slob, cleaned up his manners, and has become an incredibly charming and intelligent person. I, on the other hand, haven't changed much and have gotten NOTHING from him! They think, mistakenly, that I'm "uncultured" and "a fat, poorly dressed" young woman. If the woman would take two seconds to look at me instead of putting her nose up her own @ss she'd find out that I've had the opportunity to travel to many many places and know more about art, theater, culture, and literature than she shake a damn stick at. She talks about me constantly and belittles me to my own NEIGHBORS! She came over one day and told my neighbor that "he doesn't love her" (referring to me) and my neighbor told me as soon as she saw me. On several occassions when I've been asked to dinner, she suggests my boyfriend (OF TWO YEARS) call a certain female from church because she's such an upstanding young woman with good morals. On another occassion, she called him to a back bedroom while I sat and talked to her husband and told him that he needed to break up with me as soon as possible, after which he and I quickly left. Every thing I say is picked at, and since my grandmother is one of her oldest so-called friends, she calls to tattle on what she thinks I was implying, to which I get a phone call and have to explain what I actually meant. Anyway, as a last example, a few months ago, she got so angry at me she tried to have me arrested (though she had no grounds) for dating her grandson and when she was unsuccessful, she came over to my apartment, barged in, shook her fingers at me and got in my face and told me I was a horrible little slut that needed to get out of her grandson's life. She tried to make him leave, but he told her to leave and since he is "built" and about 6'3", she complied reluctantly. How do I deal with this woman? She lives less than a mile away and is always making bitchy remarks about me to my boyfriend, who still lives with her (until next year, he's moving in with me). His father loves me, but his parents dislike me..but at least they're honest and not RUDE about it...they at least try to get along with me. Help me, PLEASE!

[NYCmitch25]

Why do they really hate you, I think you are convienently leaving out some details.. You probably are pushy and needy but at least it's really paying off for him.. remind his parents of the positive things, and try to have dialogue, if things don't improve.. leave him (or at least I would)

[Advant]

I have a feeling that they're just that type of people. I suggest having a dialogue with him, and getting him to tell his grandparents to stop being a-holes. If he defends you with everything he's got, then i don't think it'll be a problem, just don't let him doubt you.

 

And, not trying to be a psychologist or anything, but if my child (the guy's mother) made a bad decision, wouldn't want to repeat the same mistake with the grandchild. Maybe they just don't trust him to make his own decisions, considering you're both very young.

 

Good luck