renaissancewoman101 Posted December 23, 2005 Posted December 23, 2005 I do want to know from all you guys who have known my postings for the past few months since Sept., concerning my breakup with my ex., do I sound like I am crazy??? Sometimes, I feel as though I annoy everybody, my friends, even the people on here about my obsession with my ex. I have tried to move on, it is so hard. I dont know how you people CAN move on. With me, I am trying to move on and have succeeded somewhat, hence my move to CA and finding of a new job. But, my ex's mother's phone call has unnerved me because she gives me a small shred of hope that I am not sure I want. I am afraid of letting the demons out of the box again and going through the depression and sadness of the ex dumping me. The funny thing is, I WAS GETTING TIRED OF MY EX AND DIDNT LIKE TO SPEND TIME WITH HIM ANYMORE, when he dumped me. A few weeks after he dumped me, I felt as though I had let the best thing in my life go to pot. Then I beat up on myself for letting that relationship go and did everything I could to try to get the relationship back. Now, I am trying to move on, but the phone call gives me hope, even though, last night, I talked to the ex about reconciling with our mutual friend and he seemed indifferent to me. I am so confused. I personally dont think there is hope, not after how the ex was indifferent to me last night. I dont see how his mom can SEE hope being there, but then she knows him best. Am I crazy for being the way I am? DO I drive you guys all nuts like I am driving my friends nuts over this??? Please let me know, is the way I am feeling and reacting even NORMAL????
In Sync Posted December 23, 2005 Posted December 23, 2005 You're not crazy. Hell, I've been officially dumped since April and still it plagues me. I have good days and bad days with my feelings and like everyone says here, that's just part of the process. It better to come here to vent because at least you have a variety and abundance of opinions and insights. When you obsess over the relationship with immediate friends and family...most likely if they are not going through the process of breaking up they may not have the patience or tolerance to hear the details again. So write here at L.S. if only to give them a break. After all you don't want to drive them away... You don't have to justfy your mixed emotions about the "X" ...it's understandable that you didn't like being around him but when he's out your life it's areality that you didn't foresee, and you were habituated that he was there. It's getting use to Accepting facts as they are. Don't confuse the mix emotions that you are naturally having with thinking do I have a chance again. The phone call about him was a form of breaking NC. You don't need to hear about him. Period. If he hasn't called you to say directly let's work things out..then close the door on accidental information that gets to you about him. It didn't serve any purpose for you to know it...Now all you did was open the door to confusion, which is created in your head. And definitely close the door to communicating with him about other people's lives...You are only hurting yourself wishing hoping and wondering.
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