2 girls, cheating, heartbreak, abuse, compassion, love, desire, obsession, pain

[Gomen]

I am so messed up. Really.

 

I moved out from my wife, then met another girl who I totally fell in love with. M***. She lived in the aparment right next door to mine. I would always come home to see her. I was so crazy for her and I told her so many times. We would kiss for hours and listen to classical music. We are both musicians.

 

I am 32, she is 30. She is japanese, came here with her husband. I am American. We live in Cal.

 

She is very beuatiful and I am also Model-good looks. We were very passionate and romantic. You cannot know how great it is to be with a very beautiful woman who so into you physically. Beutiful, desirous people, we. We were great!!!

 

She told me she'd have time over chrismas break to spend more time with me. I waited.

 

Then, all of a sudden, other girl left me for a 17yr old boy who claims to be a terrorist and loves Osama bin Laden. It is her ex-boyfriend. I pushed him, took his ID, called the cops, chased the skinny ass punk in his 740il (his parents bought) all the way home to his mamma. But the puny punk couldn't get away from me in my honda civic (my hard earned car). My stupid mistake, I know. That must have scared the hell out of her and made her hate me. I acted incorrectly, out of passion and despair. Hindsight...

 

I never left my wife, and that is my mistake.

 

Why did M*** (my new ex-GF) leave me? I believe that she loved the boy very much. I also believe that she did not trust me for I am married. However, M*** is married, living separately, too!

 

I love my M*** and want to get her back. She moved when I was gone and I do not know where she is. I never got to say goodbye. I want to say goodbye at least. I am trying to find her, but I feel like a stalker (especially after the chase). I don't want to do this. Want to make her come to me, I tell her it's over, and she confesses her love, then we reunite! I have sent her letters to her old address (the one right next to my apartment). I feel like a loser doing this. Sucking up my pride. I wanna do it right, like artisan romance, you know? Classic romance, the best you could imagine. No jerry springer crapola.

 

I am a young professional and have a very bright future. I don't understand M***'s decision. She is stupid, I think, because she is not considering deeper issues of humanity when considering a SO. She also has a 5yo son who I accept and want to teach. I am a good teacher and pretty smart (except for girl stuff).

 

My wife has seen me crying over her. I told her everything and since I cannot bear to be back in my apartment next to M*** (My new, ex-GF), I am staying with my wife again.

 

I have lost my wife now and that is very sad.

 

If anything, this is a lesson that having two women does not work!

 

I believe that if I try, I can make reparations with my wife. However, it is my SECOND CHOICE. I still chose M*** (my new ex-GF) over my wife. My wife knows this, too.

 

So why do I not prefer my wife? Well, I'll readily admit that she is a much better person and much smarter and more compassionate (animal lover, caring person). However, I do not feel any passion or romance with her. No romance, no desire. Love, like a sister.

 

However, I do want to keep my wife, if I can. I know, I know: I suck! It is so low to take a second choice -- for both of us. Unless we can resolve the issues of physical attraction. I am just not into my wife. She is unattractive (to me but not others), she snores, and her nipples are deformed. Despite this, most men find her attractive. My friends have told me she's hot and that I am lucky. I love her and would protect her, help her any way I could, but I am not happy. Should we work on the relationship? She is trying to move out today. She has lost her pride and feels abused.

 

If I could cheat w/o falling in love, then I'd do that. Cheating is not really bad if it's just sex, IMO. However, I am into the whole seduction thing and I fall in love. I am a bastard, POS. Women are crazy for me and I am crazy.

 

So what to do about my wife? Deep down, I know I am ruining her life. I don't wanna do that. I don't wanna lose her. (don't wanna make out with her either, though).

[wanda1974]

HOW SHALLOW ARE YOU???????:

[Gomen]

You can't or don't understand my depth. Don't judge.

[riobikini]

Ditto, Wanda 1974.....(Smile)

 

(and I didn't even WANT to reply to this ridiculous lament for sympathy!)

 

Gomen, I agree with your first assessment of yourself...the first six words you wrote.

 

Read them back to yourself.

 

-Rio

[Gomen]

Lament for sympathy? What the hell are you talking about? You got confused with another post?

 

Are shallow people quick to judge?

[Gomen]

I'm trying to understand myself better. Figure out what to do, get my head on straight.

 

BTW - I edited and added a huge chunk to the original post and it got blocked and completely lost due to the 20min threshold. That is a horrible use-case scenario from a user-perspective. Forum admin: Please reconfigure! My complete post got partially lost.

[wanda1974]

Gomen,

I'm sorry, but why don't you read your original post outloud to yourself, and tell me you don't sound shallow...........

[Gomen]

BTW - Most women are very shallow. I am quite attractive and I know that that means so much more to women. They are after me. Before, I had long hair and was thin, I am now much more muscular and attractive, but probably a worse person. I am not proud of myself; I say this because I think it shows that looks matter to a lot of women, perhaps more than they admit.

[Gomen]

I've got better things to do than listen to lonely desparate housewives. The hell with this!!! I'm gonna go out and find and use women. AAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!

 

Hopefully I'll be mean and not fall in love.

[Gomen]

And hopefully forget about M***.

 

And forget my wife; it is for her benefit. Well, she is also helping me keep sane, but I am hurting her.

[wanda1974]

Make sure before you have sex with that woman, that you're done throwing roses at yourself (thorns hurt!)

[Gomen]

This forum sucks. Just abuse the person you don't understand.

 

Post a pic of yourself Wanda. (yeah I can take it and dish it right back out to you).

 

But anyway, it's wasting time. It is shallow here. I am not getting wisdom to help with my introspection.

[wanda1974]

I really sympathize with your wife. The things you said about here are horrible!

 

When I grow up, I hope I can be just as perfect as you are!!!

[Gomen]

FOrum admin: Thank you! You got my lost text. Thanks for that. Nice person you are.

[Gomen]

No way dude! Being messed up sucks. It is lonely cause noone understands you. If you're really intelligent (though you don't seem to be), then less intelligent people will not understand your complexities or depth.

 

goodbye!

[ashley83]

Did you love your wife when you married her? Or did you just think she was hot at the time?

[Gomen]

I loved her! I married her so she wouldn't have to leave the country. I was not sure about marraige. I do still love her. I'm not passionately feeling it. If she needs something, I'll help her. I care about her a lot.

 

She loves me, too. Hard to ditch such a great wife! I have trouble ditching such a great person, so I try and stick to it, but I am not really fulfilled.

 

Was very into M***. I think I might get bored though. She's not the smartest.

 

These women are like opposites! If my wife looked and smelled like M*** and played piano, that would be awesome! But she doesn't. She tries to improve her skin and hygeine, but she has acne and her hair smells bad and I'm just not into her. BTW - she's prettier than almost all of girls I know. If anyone called her ugly, well, that person would be ending up very ugly (via force!)

[Gomen]

Maybe I'll leave my wife and start anew. Not sure what to do.

 

It's not easy to find a person like her and once it's done, it's DONE. I kinda feel like it's already done though. That's why I moved out and didn't invite her to move in with me. She knows what I was doing there, too. I should've ended it then. Hindsight...

[riobikini]

Gomen,

 

Your dear M*** left you for a 17 year old.

 

Your wife isn't exactly fighting to keep you.

 

Print out your text from these posts of yours and the replies from LS ppl....and take them to a psychotherapist to find out if you need more help than 'desperate housewives' (as you put it) can give you.

 

I personally think the replies back to you have been straightforward and honest.

 

I also believe the replies you get here are (for the most part) from ppl who are genuinely concerned about sharing their experiences to help you.

 

And look up the word 'NARCISSISM'.

 

Take care.

 

-Rio

[Gomen]

Gomen,

 

Your dear M*** left you for a 17 year old.

 

Your wife isn't exactly fighting to keep you.

 

Print out your text from these posts of yours and the replies from LS ppl....and take them to a psychotherapist to find out if you need more help than 'desperate housewives' (as you put it) can give you.

 

I personally think the replies back to you have been straightforward and honest.

 

I also believe the replies you get here are (for the most part) from ppl who are genuinely concerned about sharing their experiences to help you.

 

And look up the word 'NARCISSISM'.

 

Take care.

 

-Rio

 

He fulfilled her needs or the timing was right for them. She is stupid, I know, and it hurts that she picked him because I don't really hold him in high regard (due to his convictions and lack of experience in life). I'm considering to bring a prettier girl to the restaurant where her friend works.

 

But then I'm also gonna try to work things out with Mrs. Gomen. Is it a relationship of conveniece? How deep do we go? I want to know!

[Gomen]

Counselor says we need to end it. Mrs. doesn't wanna. It's over.

 

I'm just confused on what to do. I'm addicted to love.

[slubberdegullion]

To all those who's instinct it is to lash out at Gomen for whatever decisions he may have made:

 

You have a right to your opinion, and forums such as these give everyone an opportunity to vent.

 

But Gomen didn't come here to be blasted. He came here for help.

 

So, if I may be so bold, can we lay off the accusations and insults and deal with the facts as they are? We may not agree with what he's done or even the way he has presented it, but we're not here to judge.

[Gomen]

I find myself not wanting Mrs. Gomen. I observe myself thinking about M*** constantly. I used to just follow my desire and go right to M***, but now I observe myself feeling the loss and my strong desire for her. Just observe myself thinking, take a breath, pet the cat.

 

Today Mrs & I talked about M***. How she visited a Gigilo, how she likes to watch gay sex, how she cheats, how she manages her adulterous friends' sex schedule, her alcoholism and drunk driving, and other immoral, unethical traits about M***. She is ****ed up, like I.

I have begun masturbating a lot now. I look at porno so that I won't think of M***. Previously, I would only dream of her. I wanted only her in all ways. Crazy for her.

 

My wife wants me to **** her ass, but I won't touch her sexually. I just can't get into her that way anymore. Don't know why. Even now we're leaving each other, I don't want one last ****. Weird. Am I blinded by my addiction to M***?

 

I still have the side effect of strong, fast pulse and that feeling in my chest and stomach when I think of M***, only now, it is not constant, whereas when we were together, it was all the time. I think about her less now. When I feel bad thinking about her, I try to focus on the bad feeling, not her. Thinking of her usually triggers that bad feeling.

 

I am still thinking to take some really hot girl to M***'s restaurant to have drinks and make out. Someone considered beautiful by M*** and society. Maybe considered a "9" or "10" socially (gorgeous head-turner), but not perfectly suited for my taste. Will this have a good effect at wanting to get back w/me?

 

I know that my taste is not following the trends of society, and most girls I've known, including M*** say I have bad taste (whatever). I love the skinny, not too short (5'5" - 5-9", because I'm 6'1"), small-breasted Asian girls with a certain look and smell. The smell is very important. I think there are different types of smells that can be categorized, though everyone has a unique smell. M*** had the best smell ever. Best mouth and tongue and best kisser, too. Hard to find a better one.

[Gomen]

To all those who's instinct it is to lash out at Gomen for whatever decisions he may have made:

 

You have a right to your opinion, and forums such as these give everyone an opportunity to vent.

 

But Gomen didn't come here to be blasted. He came here for help.

 

So, if I may be so bold, can we lay off the accusations and insults and deal with the facts as they are? We may not agree with what he's done or even the way he has presented it, but we're not here to judge.

 

Right on Brotha! You play drums?

[slubberdegullion]

You play drums?

Not any more. A shoulder injury pretty much took me out of the business, but I still like to re-live the glory days of thundering drums, walls of amplifiers, crunching basses, howling guitars, sold-out shows and, yes, groupies...