shadowofman Posted December 23, 2005 Posted December 23, 2005 Men did some really bad **** to women over the centuries. Really bad! And some of us are still doing it. But how in the world is it fair for men to be expected to be But porn is a very healthy outlet for some men to express their darkest desires. I personally hate lovey-dovey porn movies. I think it's hot when a slutty girl is getting roughed up a little bit. I want my wife to act slutty. Does that offend any of you? She'll have sex with other men mostly for me, but she'd be lieing if she were to say that she doesn't enjoy it too. She pick them and I never force her too. In turn, I do romantic things for her. Isn't that sweet? It's a good deal. If you are a women that can't stand for your husband to even watch porn, I ask, is that the only problem with him, or is it a scapegoat issue that you can easily throw in his face?
lindya Posted December 23, 2005 Posted December 23, 2005 I'm sure the divorce writ, when it eventually gets drafted, will make interesting reading.
Author shadowofman Posted December 23, 2005 Author Posted December 23, 2005 What I meant was.... I don't think it's fair for women to expect so much out of men in the romance department, when most are unwilling to concede to the "sick" desires of their men. I think women should give a little in order to get a little. And I mean within reason. Everyone has boundries and thay should be respected, of course. My wife was all to willing to indulge me for a sweet little note every now and then. It's unrealistic to believe that all men should be romantic and that all women should indulge in the sexual acts men want them to. We could all try a little harder though.
lindya Posted December 23, 2005 Posted December 23, 2005 What I meant was.... I don't think it's fair for women to expect so much out of men in the romance department, when most are unwilling to concede to the "sick" desires of their men. I think women should give a little in order to get a little. And I mean within reason. Everyone has boundries and thay should be respected, of course. My wife was all to willing to indulge me for a sweet little note every now and then. It's unrealistic to believe that all men should be romantic and that all women should indulge in the sexual acts men want them to. We could all try a little harder though. I think most people do try to compromise within relationships, but it's a tricky thing. I'm not sure whether the value of a compromise someone makes should be measured by the effort and sacrifice it takes on their part, or by the level of happiness it causes to the other person. For example - she would like a little more romance...more "I love yous" and sweet little notes. He would like anal sex. Neither particularly wants to indulge the other. What is the bigger sacrifice....writing a sweet note or gritting one's teeth and hoping that the lube will make it all a bit less painful? I don't think I'd want a sweet note that was written just so that a guy felt he was keeping his side of some sort of bargain. If he doesn't mean it, I don't want him to say it. If he means it and says it that's great...but I wouldn't want false declarations of love that are conditional upon me satisfying a particular fetish that I wasn't personally into. There are times I've done things I didn't particularly want to do within a relationship. Tolerated things I didn't particularly want to tolerate. It is all give and take, after all. I have grey areas that are "don't particularly want to, but my world won't fall apart if I do" then there are limits that are basically "try to push me over this and the relationship will end." One thing I found in my last relationship was that the more I compromised, the more he started to test my limits...whilst giving less and less in return. Perhaps one of my problems is that I've had a fair bit of experience of commercial negotiation and I can recognise the usual ploys and tactics when a guy's using them within a relationship. The trouble is that it's very difficult to call someone on that without sounding cynical and ruining the relationship.
Author shadowofman Posted December 23, 2005 Author Posted December 23, 2005 You've convinced me. I see you're point completely about getting your other to do things in bed that you might be against. But what about the anti-porno folks? Don't you think it's down right rude to tell someone what they can and can't masterbate to?
lindya Posted December 23, 2005 Posted December 23, 2005 You've convinced me. I see you're point completely about getting your other to do things in bed that you might be against. But what about the anti-porno folks? Don't you think it's down right rude to tell someone what they can and can't masterbate to? Of course. Policing someone's thoughts is ridiculous and disgraceful. Also, if you take that hard line with a partner you will never really get to know them. They will conceal all sorts of aspects of, and latent urges within, themselves in order to avoid confrontation and disapproval. There should be no boundaries on the imagination, but if the imagination results in a strong drive to pressurise another party into doing what they really don't want to do then it's time to address whether the fantasies are being allowed to run out of control. My ex used to sometimes watch pretty nasty porn now and again. Not with me, but I knew about it. We had to discuss what was in it, because his attitude towards me often got a bit unpleasant after he'd been viewing it...and he did admit that it tended to make him feel more aggressive towards me. I think because we were able to talk about that, that aggression was contained and managed. Where things went out of the window was when various events left me vulnerable, and he seized the opportunity to try to push my limits (and also cheat on me). You can't trust someone who will only manage their more unsavoury urges so long as you're in a strong enough position to demand that they do. That would be my problem with violent porn. It can impact on a relationship. It's manageable, but it can take a fair bit of insight and hard work from both parties to keep it manageable...and I suppose my ultimate feeling is "for Christ's sake, if you want to watch this stuff that's your problem. Why must I put in this degree of effort in order to counteract its effects?" I'd stress that I am talking about the Max Hardcore stuff here, not the kind of stuff Jenna Jamieson appears in.
whichwayisup Posted December 23, 2005 Posted December 23, 2005 Don't you think it's down right rude to tell someone what they can and can't masterbate to? Each of us have the right to privacy and to masterbate. It's just when masterbation and porn get out of hand, usually a couples sex life goes down the tubes because one prefers jerking off than actually physically having sex with their partner.
Gold Pile Posted December 23, 2005 Posted December 23, 2005 It must be a full moon. Yup. And don't blame this guy on me please.
clandestinidad Posted December 23, 2005 Posted December 23, 2005 This thread is really confusing to me. I dont know if its b/c I havent eaten or slept much or what, but I dont get it. Was he saying that men should do nice things for their wives so that they no longer need to hide their porn?? And the nice thing he does for his wife is to let her have sex with other men????? Did I miss something?
Gold Pile Posted December 23, 2005 Posted December 23, 2005 This thread is really confusing to me. I dont know if its b/c I havent eaten or slept much or what, but I dont get it. Was he saying that men should do nice things for their wives so that they no longer need to hide their porn?? And the nice thing he does for his wife is to let her have sex with other men????? Did I miss something? And he seemed to enjoy watching her being "roughed up". I officialy cast doubt on his story, he's trolling for trouble.
clandestinidad Posted December 23, 2005 Posted December 23, 2005 I concur, GP....unless I'm misunderstanding, this is too weird
sady2671 Posted January 18, 2006 Posted January 18, 2006 point blank..men are visual creatures..they get off to what they like... Us (women, real women), or what is on the internet. They do not care how we may or may not feel about it, whether they love us or don't. They have a freaking male hormone (progesterone), that they have no control over, right? Now, come on girls you know we have the same thing, or similar, BUT... we can control it...the question of the day is.. can the man you are with?? Do, what I am doing and find out for yourself, any way you can.. Cuz if U can support yourself..then **** them..U only need U!!! Peace & FIDELITY!!!
clandestinidad Posted January 19, 2006 Posted January 19, 2006 They have a freaking male hormone (progesterone), umm...not to be that annoying person who corrects people, but its Testosterone, not progesterone (although they have a little bit of female hormone too, just as we have a little testosterone)...sorry, just thought you might want to know
honeybunch2k5 Posted January 19, 2006 Posted January 19, 2006 To Sady, testosterone is usually considered the male hormone, although estrogens are what make them grow tall. And yes, men can control their urges. However, they are taught they don't have to and 'boys will be boys', but girls are told to be more chaste. And btw most cultures in the world believe women have higher sex drives especially muslims. They believe that if women are not restrained, women will become sexual hunters and men their prey. I'm not understanding why a guy would want to watch his wife get off with some other guy unless maybe he watched way too much porn. I though monogamy was the point of being married.
cygny Posted January 19, 2006 Posted January 19, 2006 well from what i understand, seeing one's wife have sex with other men is all the rage in some circles. It is probably related to porn, as people keep pushing the envelope more and more. 1
clandestinidad Posted January 19, 2006 Posted January 19, 2006 well from what i understand, seeing one's wife have sex with other men is all the rage in some circles. It is probably related to porn, as people keep pushing the envelope more and more. I agree And then they try to proclaim to everyone what a wonderful, open, honest relationship they have....and that yours sucks b/c you arent capable of such open honesty like they are....jeeez
Woggle Posted January 23, 2006 Posted January 23, 2006 If it becomes an addiction of course porn is a porblem but women should treat their men's porn the same way they view vibrators. Just an extra tool for sexual pleasure that in no way means they don't love their partner.
clandestinidad Posted January 23, 2006 Posted January 23, 2006 Woggle, thats the best description!!! Very well put!
barfool Posted January 23, 2006 Posted January 23, 2006 That is a very good point Woggle, but I'm sure a lot of the anti-porn women would argue that they have never owned a vibrator or even worse never masturbated. Oh, it's so depressing how naive and repressed my gender can be.
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