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I have discovered that I have a bad habit of comparing the way I look to others, but I associate it with the reasoning that I never seem to have a guy who actually likes me in a romantic way. I have a more masculine build for a girl and I’m not as slim as a lot of other girls are. I am seeing a therapist to help me with this problem, but I wanted some insight. Have any of you who struggle with body issues  have any advice for me? Is there any way I can get over this in a healthy way? Let me know. 

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basil67

Aargh...body image issues are the scourge of modern life.  You're not alone!  

My advice would be to look around you when you're out.  Make an effort to notice all the women with different looks, shapes and sizes who have boyfriends/husbands.   And while social media does have it's place be mindful of the evils of all those filters which portray unrealistic photos.  I hear that young people are losing sight of what "normal" looks like and are holding themselves to unrealistic ideals.

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Weezy1973
6 hours ago, Keira7 said:

Is there any way I can get over this in a healthy way? Let me know. 

Comparing ourselves to others and being aware of our physical appearance is quite natural as we are sexually reproducing social animals. However media images, including social media, are not natural, so comparing ourselves to unnaturally “beautiful” people will make us feel “less than”. 
 

I think one of the keys is to separate our physical appearance from our self worth - real issues can happen when we believe our value as a human being is predicated on our physical appearance. But also accept that caring about your appearance is also very natural. You don’t want to beat yourself up because you don’t look a certain way and then beat yourself up again because you care about the way you look! 
 

And also as Basil said, genuinely look around at couples. It’s not like love is reserved only for the beautiful people. Folks of all shapes and sizes find love and have families. 

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d0nnivain

You have to stop the comparisons.  Instead get into the habit of complimenting yourself about some aspect of your appearance every day.  

You have to like yourself before somebody else will like you.  

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Decorichiggy

Therapy is a great step, and I've found that practicing self-love and focusing on my strengths helps.

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happyhorizons

This ^ is great advice.  You HAVE TO love yourself first.  Nobody is perfect nor will they ever be and we each have our own set of insecurities whether we choose to admit it or not. I lived in a highly competitive sports world for a long time and I assure you even the best athletes compare themselves to one another.  It is just LIFE.  Love yourself and love WHO you are.  

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