laurabella Posted December 22, 2005 Posted December 22, 2005 I have been seeing this guy for a little while. I knew he was married when we got involved, but now it's getting harder. I see him almost every day, but when I do, I just want to forget that he's married. He tells me that he really cares for me and that he has never done this before, but I don't know if he is lying to me too. Do you think I'm the only one he is seeing besides his wife? I want to be with him all the time and I hate that we can't be! He is the sweetest thing that I have ever met in my life. I go to his house a lot and see how he is with his wife and it doesn't seem like they have a good relationship at all. My only concern is that he has 2 kids that are very little! Should I just stop this thing now, or stay with him and hope to not get hurt?
BlacknessOfSleep Posted December 24, 2005 Posted December 24, 2005 What good could come of staying? With small children, it's unlikely he'll leave. And I know it sounds horribly mean, but have you thought that maybe you're the reason the relationship with his wife isn't very good? Every woman has intuition, and I'd be willing to bet she knows all about what's going on with you and him, or at least has a good idea...back off for a little while and let him take the reins. You'll see whether or not it's you he cares for or he just needs a breather from marriage and children.
travellingman Posted December 24, 2005 Posted December 24, 2005 Do you think I'm the only one he is seeing besides his wife? If the two of you are the same age, you probably are. Because these things are not typically the result of a dating service or a bar, the connections have to be deeper than they would be for a random relationship two single people would have. They're almost always unexpected, and terribly inconvenient. When you have a 40 yo and a 22 yo secretary, that's just an older guy looking to get some, and there can be a bunch of 20-somethings he'll chase after at once. If you are a lot younger than him, your expectation should be nothing more than sex. Reality though is someone here will get hurt. Either his kids, you, or him. And from what you've said, my money's on you being the one who sheds the most tears here.
Sami_D Posted December 24, 2005 Posted December 24, 2005 laurabella, Even if you're the only one he's seeing, and even if his R with his wife isn't all romance and deep stuff... he's married. And the chances of anything positive coming out of this for you are slim. That's not to say impossible... but. Might be an idea for you to post more information about what he's saying, what you've talked about regarding the future, and so on. Also, try reading gloryb.com for some stories. Take care of yourself.
whichwayisup Posted December 24, 2005 Posted December 24, 2005 Should I just stop this thing now, or stay with him and hope to not get hurt? Yes. He is married to someone else and has children. Don't you think you deserve to be with a man who isn't taken already? Even if you think the marriage isn't good (He'll probably tell you that they don't get along to keep you interested) he is never going to leave his wife and kids. Go read some other posts by OW (other women) and see what they've been through. Do you want that pain for yourself?
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