Distracted Posted December 22, 2005 Posted December 22, 2005 I have a question... I know that NC really is the most healthy and helpful way to work through breaking up with my ex, and I haven't spoken to him in about a month- since we had "the talk". The thing is he owes me a significant amount of money and I want him to pay it back. The break-up wasn't "bad." We didn't fight or argue, I didn't beg or cry and we discussed the fact he needs to pay this money back. He hasn't done it yet and I really don't want to let him get away with yet another unpaid debt (he does this to everyone- friends, family, the IRS). If I do decide to break no contact about this issue (and I am still on the fence) does anyone have suggestions about the most dignified and least hurtful (to me) way to do it? Should I call him at work, call him at home, or wait until I see him next (which is likely to happen since we have a lot of friends in common)? I don't want to bring up the realtionship (I would like the "mystery" of what I'm up to now to remain for him) but I also don't want to torpedo any chance we have of being friends in the distant future. Any help would be appreciated? Thanks.
Nikita20 Posted December 22, 2005 Posted December 22, 2005 I wouldn't contact him if I were you. He already knows that he owes you the money. You've already discussed that. Leave it up to him to contact you about this. However, considering his track record, it sounds like you are going to have to kiss this money goodbye since he already is deep in debt. By contacting him, all it is going to do is open up a can of worms. I know deep down inside you are using this as an excuse to contact him. Honestly ask yourself, is it really about the money? It sounds like it is a large sum he owes you. Unless you have it written down on paper and have a signed agreement that he will pay you back, there is really nothing that you can do as far as getting it back. If you really want to try and get your money back in a dignified way maybe you can mail him a letter listing how much he owes and a date of when he will repay you back. Have him sign it and return it back to you. Then you would have legal recourse. But, I have a feeling that all he is going to do is crumple up the letter and throw it in the trash. Who knows. You can try this method. But, whatever you do, don't contact him in person.
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