my tough breakup

[ryginn]

I just need someone to hear this... for me. It probably not as bad as other break ups.. but it still hurts.

 

I had been going out with this girl for just over 2 years and she was my first serious girlfriend. It was amazing to begin with: We were madly in love, had great communication, great physical attraction; everything. We shared everything; all our feelings, all our difficulties, all of our passions. Furthermore, she had had a rough childhood and i suppose i felt as though I could save her from all the bad things that had happened to her. Knight in shining armour style..

 

Or so i thought.. I realized that the whole time, I had put my social life aside and had been focusing all my attention on her. I lost all of my friends, and I completely changed. We still did stuff together and had fun, but there was something lacking. We didn't have any friends in common, didn't go out and do social stuff, and it sucked. I felt trapped and confined, but i knew that i still had deep feelings for her because we had shared so much.

 

There were other factors aswell; I realized that we didn't have as much in common as i had once thought. I really disliked her family. And she lived about 20 miles outside the city.

 

Our relationship began to run into problems around October, I confronted her with my concerns that our relationship wasn't enough. She wanted to know how we could make it better.. and so I didn't break up with her then. We tried (pathetically) to change.. but that was impossible, we were too different. Everytime I thought about our future together, it looked grim. I knew that our lives together would continue to be boring and uneventfull.

 

I waited until she was done exams so that she didn't flunk them...and on Sunday (Dec.17) I broke up with her.. it was the toughest thing i've ever done in my life.

 

My biggest difficulty with this break up, is that I think i was selfish. I know she loved me, a lot. I meant the world to her.

 

I broke up with her and I have no idea how shes taking it, i don't want anything bad to happen to her. I don't want her to drop out of school, or blame herself for all of it... I feel like i destroyed her life and that she doesn't deserve what i did to her with everything shes been through. I feel like a horrible person.

 

I just can't get over this feeling that i've ruined someone's life.. and its just eating me up inside.

 

Thanx for listening.

[jasmine111]

I'm sorry, 2 years is a long time, but you didn't ruin her life. She'll eventually move on and so will you. I hope she understands that you sincerely think it's for the best. Sometimes it's just as hard for the dumper as it is for the person being dumped.