ShyGuy123 Posted December 21, 2005 Posted December 21, 2005 I have a hard time meeting a girl. I am very shy and find it very difficult to even find one to talk too. I’ve done all the reading on how to stair and smile, etc.. but how do I do this without making her feel like I stalking her or something? I like to think I’m an "OK" looking guy, so why do guy with less looks and that don’t even seem to take care of themselves get all the women? I was married for 8 years and lost contact with most of my friends and social group because of this. So, where do I go? How to find a woman? I really hate coming home alone every night. Any Ideas?
confusedgeek Posted December 21, 2005 Posted December 21, 2005 Im very eager to listen to responses for this thread too.
Outcast Posted December 21, 2005 Posted December 21, 2005 It's all about attitude. If you're warm friendly, cheerful, happy, people will be drawn to you like magnets. Flash that smile around and follow it up with a pleasant personality and people will be attracted to you. If you're smiling and a woman seems to be smiling back, walk over and say hi, introduce yourself, and ask a question. If she's interested, the conversation should flow. Oh, and don't 'stare'!!!
Author ShyGuy123 Posted December 21, 2005 Author Posted December 21, 2005 I do get a lot of looks when I go places. I look… They look.. Some look away.. So I leave them alone.. I can usually tell if they are not interested what so ever. But, about half keep looking back... sometimes a lot… Thoughts are the ones I can’t tell. Sometimes I think they are looking back because they think I’m some crazed weirdo or something. I just feel so awkward approaching them. Like I would be valuating their personal space. I had a girl literally choke on her coke to talk to me. But, I had no idea what to say back to her. So, I just said the minimum and walked away. So, do I walk up to them at Wal-Mart? And what do I do once they start talking? How do you get past the little joke or statement I make about something? You think I would have learned all of this a long time ago, but most of the women I’ve been with in my life approached me. Ok, all of the women.
confusedgeek Posted December 22, 2005 Posted December 22, 2005 Im going to agree with shyguy here. When you look at them, you look away. It seems wrong to stare.
slubberdegullion Posted December 22, 2005 Posted December 22, 2005 Outcast is right; the confidence that comes from within is a big draw. But you also have to circulate in target-rich environments. Bars and clubs are probably the worst place for finding women, because they're too loud, alcohol clouds the judgement, and you'll find yourself in competition from the players. So before you start the hunt, determine what it is that you're looking for. Are you looking for a smart, confident woman? Big bookstores are a good spot. Looking for a domestic type? Take some cooking classes. Have a particular fondness for intellectuals? Try some night courses at your local university in a field that interests you. There are even some online dating sites that might work for you. Plenty of Fish is one and yes, you'll have to weed through the NASCAR fans with few teeth who just got out of jail and have seven children, but there are some very nice ones too. I know. I've just found one. Point is, there are women all over the place. Some are taken, some won't be interested, but there are lots and lots of attractive, available women who are constantly on the look-out for a nice chap. And don't be discouraged. Sure, you'll get rejected, but so what? Your self-worth isn't dependent on the opinion of someone you don't even know. So buck up, be confident without being aggressive, be direct without being arrogant, and smile when you look at her.
Becoming Posted December 22, 2005 Posted December 22, 2005 We really don't bite. I'm married and waaaay out of touch with the dating scene, but I know enough to know you can just start a friendly conversation in the store with someone. For instance, I do my grocery shopping early in the morning when it seems all the old people are there (I guess all us old geezers are early risers). I love to shop with them because they start conversations with everyone: "Don't you just love those green chilles?" one person said to me last week as I was reaching for the green chilles. "Yes, I need them for a recipe . . . . " and suddenly we were off talking about eating chilli on cold days and memories. Slub's right: hang out in places you like and start a conversation about the experience you're both sharing. ("I read that book." or "I haven't read that book, but I read something on {that subject} and it was interesting." Instead of trying to score, just be friendly and see where it leads. We all share the same planet. Find what you have in common with the person in that situation and make nice. Forget the meat-market bars, though.
Jeffrey Posted December 22, 2005 Posted December 22, 2005 You realize women are everywhere don't you? Go do things YOU LIKE to do, you'll find women there doing many of the same things and there's your 'in'. Looks are a dime a dozen, there are good looking men and women everywhere, it's what's inside that counts. That may explain your 'Guys with less looks' statement.
slubberdegullion Posted December 22, 2005 Posted December 22, 2005 I love to shop with them because they start conversations with everyone: "Don't you just love those green chilles?" one person said to me last week as I was reaching for the green chilles. "Yes, I need them for a recipe . . . . " and suddenly we were off talking about eating chilli on cold days and memories. That reminds me of that scene from the original Animal House movie, when one of the frat boys bumps into the Dean's wife at the grocery store as she's examining the cucumbers. "Mine's bigger," he says.
NYCmitch25 Posted December 22, 2005 Posted December 22, 2005 Make a t-shirt out of dollar bills ... the smell of money will surely attract the ladies..
SmoochieFace Posted December 22, 2005 Posted December 22, 2005 Make a t-shirt out of dollar bills ... the smell of money will surely attract the ladies.. ...
NYCmitch25 Posted December 22, 2005 Posted December 22, 2005 WALMART and STARING ? Are you a stalker? LOL First off learn how to dress and carry yourself. Also be more aloof, don't seem "too interested" because you will look like you never been laid. LOL. I use humor, I have a quick wit sometimes, so I get people to laugh a little.. Lastly be genuine and be yourself.. engage the world talk to people and learn how to be better at it though practice. Don't expect too much too soon. Oh and ALWAYS use pickup lines. I combine a couple like "Do you live around here often?" I know, you're thinking that must get all the ladies, but there are even better oens like"was your father a theif?, because I think he stole the stars and put them in your eyes". (I'm being sarcastic) I know this one player who would say something really strange to a girl right off the bat, then by the end of the night she would curious to the point that it would start a conversation.. it was his cheap way of getting laid, I think it's pathetic but I never really was into "scoring", my ego was big enough. 1
Walk Posted December 22, 2005 Posted December 22, 2005 engage the world talk to people and learn how to be better at it though practice. This is great advice. Engage the world. Awesome wording! I'll have to give you a rep point for that. Shyguy: You're HOT!! Dang! If I were single....
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