Kisar Posted December 21, 2005 Posted December 21, 2005 How do I avoid NC when I have to rely on my husband for certain things...like money. I was okay for the past week, since the last incident where I lashed out on him. I even convinced myself that I did not need to be in a relationship with him and that he was the one losing (me, his unborn son,his daughter). I even thought about the things that I hated about him. I was making up my mind to start over and to focus on my children. But today is bad. I just called because I really need money to pay my daughter's tuition and for XMAs. The conversation went okay...he said that he would give it to me. I told him to avoid contact he can drop it off at my job...he agreed. Now I am extremely sad. I am at work and can not stop crying. I keep pondering ...why? How? How can he just walk away from his children? He has not asked about our daughter and the unborn child...nothing. Wow...this really takes a toll on me. I am trying to heal...made an appointment with a therapist ...accept the appointment is so long away. I need help now. I truly feel like ending my life. It's not so much about us not being together but more so about the fact that he has walked away from tremendous responsibilities without looking back. He could care less whether we have food, clothes, shelter, and most of all support. If this was a different situation I may be able to handle it better, but I am truly saddened beyond belief that he left me...I may lose everything because I no longer have his support. I need some responses to help me through this. I am thinking of ending my life today.
chocolate_boy Posted December 21, 2005 Posted December 21, 2005 Think unselfishly for a moment, you have a daughter, are you really going to leave her to fend for herself and ruin the rest of her life cos of some guy? Marrages end all the time, infact 50% of them do these days, it is devistating, but you need to take steps to move on from it. Trust me, you'll look back at now in 10 years, probably married to someone you love with all your heart, and see your beautiful daughter grown up and doing you proud... You'd be an idiot to miss out on that.
Art_Critic Posted December 21, 2005 Posted December 21, 2005 Think unselfishly for a moment, You are assuming that she is thinking selfishly to begin with.. .. Don't do anything.. and call a helpline.. things will be better in the future.. and don't give him the satisfaction.. you sound like you are heading for depression.. Do you have any family near you ? if you do ask them for help.. Keep posting
lilmoma1973 Posted December 21, 2005 Posted December 21, 2005 Maybe it is the hormone talking!! I know when i was preggo i would cry at the drop of a hat and the littlest things and most stupid ones too!! I am tenderhearted anyways and the hormones made more of a sap.. You have to focus on this child and your health of yourself!! I agree with AC don't give him the satisfaction he walked out you and your kids and i have no use for someone that leaves their family !! You deserve better!! Hang in there if you need someone to talk with pm me anytime!!
scobro Posted December 21, 2005 Posted December 21, 2005 I truly feel like ending my life. What are thinking???You are mad at him for walking away from everything and you would have this enter your mind. I just called because I really need money to pay my daughter's tuition and for XMAs At least he gives you money plus you work ,some women are left high and dry with nothing no money or job. He could care less whether we have food, clothes, shelter, and most of all support. Thats not true he gives you money.He may not give you his support but he gives you financial support. If this was a different situation I may be able to handle it better, but I am truly saddened beyond belief that he left me... Of course you are sad it's also a real blow to your ego and that is why it hurts but under the circumstances it could be worse for you.It seems he is trying to make the best of the situation with finances. I may lose everything because I no longer have his support. What exactly will you lose other than him.He will pay support and maybe alimoney,you work so what exactly will you lose that is so dreadful??There are women way worse off get a grip its not the end of the world.Suicide talk losing everything is crazy its your ego that is crushed you just cannot believe he left you and your kids well he did and its his loss. Think of your kids and not yourself for a moment....Now start planning what can be done now not in the future but right now and don't judge your self worth on him and your past together
Author Kisar Posted December 21, 2005 Author Posted December 21, 2005 Its a blow to my ego and to my daughter's ego. it is a blow ro my finances and my daughters future. Its a blow to know that 2 children do not mnena anything to him. It is a blow to know that he does not care as to whether or not me and the children eat. The only reason he offered money was because I begged him. It is a blow to know that he is in another state right now (I guess decided to go back to where he is from) When I called to tell him I really needed the money and was sorry about my last incident...I could hear his woman in the laughing in the bcakground and he was so totally mean to me. Said he did not care what I needed. Okay. I just want to say bye to you guys and to thank you for the times you have helped me. I truly feel like my daughter's life will be better off with out me. She will get the support that she needs in order to make it through. who knows maybe some day she will connect with her dad and they can be happy together. I want out. I cannot stop feeling this crippling pain. Yes my ego is affected, but that is because someone really did a wrong thing to me. Can you imagine living like this? I am not a great parent anymore. I cannot even bond with my unborn child. I am so empty. so thanks Love Shack Forum. Being a pat of this family really helped me to get through some rough days.
Yamaha Posted December 21, 2005 Posted December 21, 2005 I really hope you reconsider. You are cared for and loved by many other people besides your H. You are better off without him and you can make it. There are many support groups in cities that offer various services. Most cities have suicide hot lines to help you in great times of stress. You are not thinking rationally now and if you resist the temptation now you will feel much better tomorrow. Talk to people and let it out, the hurt, the anger. Do you really want to end it and not see your daughter and unborn child? I really hope you don't do this irreversible thing. Seek help and support. Tell people how you are feeling. Get mad and angry but tell someone and don't keep it all bottled inside. Keep talking and venting and things will look better in the long term.
chocolate_boy Posted December 21, 2005 Posted December 21, 2005 You are assuming that she is thinking selfishly to begin with.. .. At the risk of giving too much "tough love", Suicide is the most selfish thing you can ever do, especially when you have kids. Seriously hun, it will get better and you will come out of the other side of this. Look to your daughter for all the inspiration you need, you couldn't imagine never seeing her grow up.
ashley83 Posted December 21, 2005 Posted December 21, 2005 Please don't do this!!! Please.....a lot of us are going through breakups. They are so hard! I feel like my life has no joy right now. Please sweetheart don't do it. Time heals. Time will go by, and you'll look back amazed at all the pain you were in. This time will pass. Live for your children. I don't know what I would have done without my mom. I love her sooo much. Your children need you!
CaliGuy Posted December 22, 2005 Posted December 22, 2005 Kisar, I am PM'ing you my cell number. Please call me immediately!!!!!!!!!!!!
CaliGuy Posted December 22, 2005 Posted December 22, 2005 Kisar, I can't pm you my cell number but I want to talk. Is there a way I can reach you via phone?
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