Dreamer084 Posted December 21, 2005 Posted December 21, 2005 Well back in the start of December gf dumped me because saying our relationship wasn't the same and that because shes moving away she needs to focus on herself for school and everything else..blah blah blah..I was really really hurt, depressed, distraught, everything you can feel..I have gotten to the point where I sometimes just dont care, then I do. Well here it is..I'm at work last night..we met up sunday night to see each other..we kissed..made love a little bit..and hugged..etc talked..She texts me tonight while I am at work..(night job)..the text message says..I miss you..What do I make of this? We're meeting up Friday again and I dont know what to do here. I still do have feeling for her..I am just really hurt still from what she done to me. Please someone point me in the right direction on how I should handle this. Does she want me back now or should I maintain the no calling thing I have been doing ..letting her text me and call me..thanks guys.
Sleeps w/Butterflies Posted December 22, 2005 Posted December 22, 2005 Hello Your situation seems very , very, much like mine. The problem here is when you sleep together it stirs up a wide array of emotions. Was this the first time you slept together since the breakup? I will give you my advice based on what I did that didn't work and what I did that was more favorable. My ex did the same crap as yours texting me I miss you you love you etc. When I simply said "I know" he was confused I gave him back that same confussion he had given me. He assumed I had no interest in him and didn't want him. I suggest you don't tell her you miss her via text or email. Don't call her either, you can even tell her that you hate the phone, that it is annoying etc so she won't feel bad that you never call her or answer her sms. In terms of brining up what do you want from me speech, I personally don't recommend it. I did it last sat. and it got me a whole lot of nothing. He is more interested in if I am seeing someone else and why don't I desire anything intimate. You can see her friday that is fine, but is she always the one initiating the time and dates you will meet? See her friday but try to avoid having sex. You need to pull back a bit sex complicates things build that bond again. There is plenty of time for sex there maybe even comes times in the relationship where there will be no talking and just sex. So stop having sex and be super sweet to her and happy. Do not goand kiss her, let her have total control of all that's going on. After all she left you so she has to decide whether or not she wants to go back with you. Go slow and don't be dumb like me and ask her "what do you want from me" chances are she will feel pressured and you don't want that. Also are you seeing other women?
CaliGuy Posted December 22, 2005 Posted December 22, 2005 Take it slow. Don't be in a rush to go right back where you were. Why did the realtionship fail last time? Learn from past mistakes, vow to improve where you can and take it really slow. Just take things for what they are. The key is to not expect much. Be sure to keep yourself busy with friends, hobbies and projects. You don't want to become dependent on her. Good luck.
Author Dreamer084 Posted December 22, 2005 Author Posted December 22, 2005 See guys..I have been keepin myself very busy..I dont ever call her..and I have already had other women hit on me and she got upset cause of that. The key here I believe is just being independent and not being dependent on her and showing her hey I'm doing just fine..right? No right now I am not seeing other women..It would prolly break her heart if I did.
Sleeps w/Butterflies Posted December 22, 2005 Posted December 22, 2005 It would absolutely break her heart. Does she ask you if you are? Mine always asks me and I tell him no I am too busy with work etc. I really do not feel it is any of their business unless you are commited again. But follow the advice of the other poster. Go slow and ease up on the sex (if you can).
Author Dreamer084 Posted December 22, 2005 Author Posted December 22, 2005 Shes made comments..but not directly asked me if I was with anyone. For instance the other night I am out with my friends..bar hopping having a great time. I get home around 6 that night and I get a call the next day and shes like you didnt end up in anybodys bed did you? Sarcastically..I'm like no..then this girl on myspace says I'm hot, havent' seen you in a little while. She got mad at that comment..Then she asks me what I did that night and everything. I think in this whole ordeal of things I've learned to be independent and love myself before loving anybody else. My problem was depending on her to be happy. I'm not there yet, but I am getting better every single day.
Author Dreamer084 Posted December 24, 2005 Author Posted December 24, 2005 UPDATE Hey guys back...Well I got invited to go play some basketball with my gf of 1 year and a half with one of her friends...Look up in this thread to see the rest..Well today I am hooping it up and after I am done I go sitdown to talk to them. We have a good conversation..just chilling..laughing etc..Well she goes away and her friend stays..Well her friend tells me that she is getting the same feeling-butterflies about me when we first met over a year and a half ago and how she still is still in love with me. She comes back and sits down..and we talk again..this time she puts her hands on the back of my head..rubbing my head back and forth..she also gave me a compliment on how my hair looked. NOW...from this point on out how should I go about this..Just keep doing what I am doing..letting her call me? I'm not pushing anything...letting her do her thing..Would you guys say she is falling for me again or what is going on?
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