6205 Posted December 21, 2005 Posted December 21, 2005 This site probably has a lot of this- but, my boyfriend says he doesn't deserve me. It hurts to hear this because I am thinking he either has low self esteem or I feel awkward hearing I'm "special," when I'm just a normal person... somebody tell me; what do you think? is it a genuine worry? or an excuse? Any opinions would be wonderful. ps- this is the one issue we've had for a while, everything else is amazing.
johan Posted December 21, 2005 Posted December 21, 2005 Some guys say this because they feel guilty for something. Others say it because they don't feel worthy. Some guys say it because they think it sounds like a chivalrous compliment. Not sure which type your guy is, but you should just tell him you agree. Won't hurt to look him right in the eye when you say it, just to let him know you're ready to cut the crap any time.
LN8840K Posted December 21, 2005 Posted December 21, 2005 " Not sure which type your guy is, but you should just tell him you agree. Won't hurt to look him right in the eye when you say it, just to let him know you're ready to cut the crap any time. " Thats a classic 6205 you might want believe him when he says it
Devildog Posted December 21, 2005 Posted December 21, 2005 Some guys say this because they feel guilty for something. Others say it because they don't feel worthy. Some guys say it because they think it sounds like a chivalrous compliment. You forgot an option there johan, he is saying this because he is looking for an ego stroke. He might be expecting you to tell him what a wonderful person he is and how you are the lucky one that doesn't deserve him. And yeah, it is BS if he needs to go fishing for compliments like that.
Author 6205 Posted December 23, 2005 Author Posted December 23, 2005 Thanks guys for replying. The ones that mentioned "ego stroking" etc., thanks but that is quite impossible. Take my word for it; it isn't that. I think I know what the reason is though. Thanks everyone.
Lishy Posted December 23, 2005 Posted December 23, 2005 Thanks guys for replying. The ones that mentioned "ego stroking" etc., thanks but that is quite impossible. Take my word for it; it isn't that. I think I know what the reason is though. Thanks everyone. So what is the reason then?
Devildog Posted December 23, 2005 Posted December 23, 2005 The ones that mentioned "ego stroking" etc., thanks but that is quite impossible. Take my word for it; it isn't that. I'm curious as to why you think that isn't possible? People who have self-esteem issues will do this. They get the other person to say all kinds of nice things about them and make them feel better. And someone with false self-esteem would still do this because they need the ego stroke to fuel the fake confidence. Only a truley narcissistic person would be unlikely to need the ego stroke. But a narcissist wouldn't be telling anyone that they deserve better than them.
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