Navajo46 Posted December 21, 2005 Posted December 21, 2005 I was in a relationship for a year and a half. I put alot of doubt into the relationship especially in the past month. I am under alot of stress and seemed to take it out on her. I also did not want her to have to deal with my situation and thought that it might be better to break up and save her the drama. Last week I told her that we really needed to take a break to see where we were and she was kind of surprised and cried over it a little. She said that I seemed like I already had my mind made up. So we only took off the weekend and didn't talk. We then got together on Sunday two days ago and she said that there was a lot of things that i had to work on. I agreed, but stayed rather emotionless. She said that she was sorry, and that we should break up. I said okay, grabbed my stuff and left. She asked if there was anything that I had to say and I said no. I got home and really thought about us... I had really not thought about it much over the weekend thinking that it would work out. I realized that this is the girl that I wanted to be with and saw a future with. I just couldn't let things go as they were and called her to talk and went over to her place. I really put on a display, telling her all the things that I truly fealt, loving her so much but not being able to express myself. The feeling of wanting to take care of her and building a future for us. I cried a little and she cried. She said that she thought that it was too late. She said that she loved me but didn't know if she was in love with me. I also found out that she had talked to her ex over the weekend and that he wanted her back... he had been trying to get back with her for months. All these things happening in such a short period of time is tough... I am devastated. I even drew it out because I was afraid to leave, knowing it would be the last time we spoke. I am really broken up at a situation that I think that I really caused... I know hindsight is 20/20, but I really pushed this girl away. I had to go through this to really realize how much I cared about her, and now it is too late. What do I do now... I feel disgusted with myself for crying and showing her how broken up I was... but I felt like I needed her to know exactly how I felt. It is so hard especially around christmas. We then said our goodbyes and said good luck to each other with such finality. Any insights on how she feels? I know that I can't call her, but this was my longest relationship ever, and just the thought of not expecting a call is killing me. I really didn't think that this was going to end like this. Need advice... really would like to know some girls perspectives on how I made her feel and if there is any chance here of salvaging anything?
hurtandlonely Posted December 21, 2005 Posted December 21, 2005 I read your post and it sounded similar to how my ex did me. I was with a guy who I truly cared deeply for. He was the type of guy who wouldn't show emotions so I was left guessing at times if he really cared or not. When we argued he acted like he didn't care if I left or not. I tried over and over to tell him how much that hurt me and he would reply well that is just how I am. We broke up twice, once for three days. We got back together then three weeks later he broke it off again because he said he was so stressed out and with us arguing all the time he couldn't handle how I was. So I just left, I did cry but he seemed to me like he made his mind up, and really what good is it going to do to try and persuade someone to be with me? That really did cause a blow to my ego, broke my heart, and so I did what I thought was best. I put it in my mind that it was over for good and when he tried to come back all the hurt and pain he caused me surfaced. All I wanted was attention and for him to care for me like I cared for him. When he came back to me and told me he could be that man I wanted and that he truly did care for me it was really too late. He had done his damage to my heart and although I wanted so bad to be with him all I could see was what he had said and did. Why couldn't he have realized those things before we broke up? I really don't know your gf but I do know how it feels to have someone break your heart and then try to come back again. If she is like me then it probably is too late especially if someone else who gives her the attention and caring she wants comes around. I am not trying to scare you and I know this wasn't what you wanted to hear. She may really love you and come back to you but if she does make sure you remember how it felt to lose her and think about that before you think it's time for a break because sometimes those breaks backfire on those who end it.
ginger1 Posted December 21, 2005 Posted December 21, 2005 I am going through a similar situation now. My boyfriend shows NO emotion whatsoever. I pretty much throw every shred of emotion I have within me to show that I care, but get nothing in return. Showing even slight emotion goes a long way. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years and the only time he shows any emotion is when I try to leave. I pour my heart out and with every tear I shed, it's like having a knife driven through my heart with the stone face I get in return. I can't say that she will come back. I know that I'm trying to leave my boyfriend and when I finally do, I never want to go back. I love him to death, but there are no words to express the pain of the emotionlessness. The best advice I can give you is to learn from this experience. I know it's hard to show emotion sometimes, but you have to tell the people you care about how you feel or you will regret not taking the opporitunity when they are gone. I truly hope you can find peace and happiness in your life. Ginger
hurtandlonely Posted December 21, 2005 Posted December 21, 2005 I agree with Ginger completely and I can't believe how similar our situation is. I have sat there and thought it was me the whole time just reading too much into things. But he always treats me like he doesn't care until after we break up then he calls me back. Sometimes all it would take is just for him to say hey I miss you or hey I'm glad I have you...just SOMETHING.
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