ginger1 Posted December 20, 2005 Posted December 20, 2005 I have posted quite a few threads before about my boyfriend, but this one is slightly different. To summarize, I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years. Within the last 5 months or so, he has become a very down and depressed person. He will call me at work 7 or 8 times, asking when I will be home, but when I get home, it's like sitting with a brick wall. He doesn't talk, doesn't show emotion, nothing. I have been planning a breakup for quite some time and even posted the note here for advice that I was going to leave when I moved out. Well, last night I had enough. I continuously tried to suggest things to do because he was bored, but he just kept shrugging or saying no. Then he went into the, "I'm not happy here" (we live with 3 other roommates) depressed life story. I have repeatedly told him that if he wants another apartment together, that he would have to save some money because I am sick of doing everything myself. He has yet to save even a DIME!!! So eventually it came down to him telling me to leave because I told him that everything I fell in love with him for is gone. His happy go lucky attitude, his carefree spirit, even his smile and laugh. All gone. So I started to pack up my things and he stood in front of the bathroom door blocking me in telling me that he couldn't live without me. Then he started banging his head on the wall and crying. He kept saying that he is just waiting to die and has no happiness or purpose in life. I really want to leave because no matter how much emotion I pour into loving him and trying to make him happy, he continues to behave like this. I just can't handle this emotionally anymore. The problem is, his family has a history of mental problems (his mother committed suicide) and I am afraid he will hurt himself. I don't know what to do and could really use some advice. He has no one in his life to help him and I would never forgive myself if he did something to himself if I left him. I do love him and care what happens to him, but I don't know what else I can do. I just don't have any more emotion to pour out. PLEASE give me some advice. I just don't know how much longer I can stand this. Thanks, Ginger
JS17 Posted December 20, 2005 Posted December 20, 2005 This is a one pager on how to help a loved one with depression. There are links at the bottom that will bring you to some really good resources. http://www.familyaware.org/resources/options.php 1
Author ginger1 Posted December 20, 2005 Author Posted December 20, 2005 Thanks for the website, I will check it out. Any advice on what I should do though? How can I get out?
JS17 Posted December 20, 2005 Posted December 20, 2005 Well it sounds like you already are out, no? He needs to get professional help. As his girlfriend or friend or family member, you can not provide the therapy he needs. You can try to help get him into therapy and stand by him while he's dealing with this but you are not responsible for his well being. Keep in mind that people with depression often go through episodes throughout their life and it's not likely to just disappear. One other thing I would suggest is having him get a full physical. He may have a vitamin deficiency or hormonal disease or possibly something else that is causing this depression.
Author ginger1 Posted December 20, 2005 Author Posted December 20, 2005 no I'm not already out. That's why I'm afraid. I'm afraid he'll hurt me or himself.
riobikini Posted December 20, 2005 Posted December 20, 2005 If you are concerned for YOUR safety, -get out. If you are concerned for HIS IMMEDIATE safety, notify authorities who can hook him up with professional help. -Rio
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