LuVHuRtS Posted December 20, 2005 Posted December 20, 2005 Ok Get your reading Glasses on because another one of those, Alright, I met this girl online about a year and a half ago online we lived in the same borough but she had a boyfriend so we talked as friends for about six months.She broke up with him and we got together,1 month into it she broke up with me... no reason on my part i was doing every and anything for her because she explained to me how her ex was and i wasnt nor wanted to be that but anyhow she broke up with me saying she needed time alone and sorta felt like i was like her ex.... we broke up talked on the fone for a few weeks and then i initiated NC. During This time she was dating casually and talking to multiple guys but according to her nothing serious but she did admit dating this 1 guy who she " fell in love with " after then 1st week.... but but broke up with him a month into it because he choose drug dealing over her and she felt like he put that before her. 5 months into the NC 2weeks after her break up with the guy we get back into contact she called me if im not mistaken.We talk again friendly and eventually go out on a few dates and magically we get back together but this time around i actually began to fall in love with her myself... we get back together little knowing to me that her ex was still keeping in contact calling her once in a while, but anyhow on halloween she ends up breaking up with me, mind you i was doing EVERYTHING for this girl even down to delievering food to her house buying her gifts just doing everything spending every inch of time she had availble with her and still she breaks up with me because i wanted to hang out with her on halloween, i kno this sounds wierd it did to me. I did some talkign and it finally comes out that he called her that night and said " I think You Soul Mate " and that magic line was enough to make her question our relationship mind you it was only like 3 weeks. Back To Friends Again.... Im Inlove with her now feeling like ill do anything for this girl,talking to her still trying to get her back im basically begging her to give us a chance. I ask her if shes willing to give it a real chance we get back together again 3rd time being together, 2 weeks into it AGAIN she breaks up with me. She says she confused and doesnt wanna be with either me or her ex saying wat if she was ment to be with the other..... Confusing to me i guess its a girl thing.I explain to her iv done everything for her love her never lied to her or did anything to hurt her feelings and yet she gonna group me with him and mind you i kno her longer... Back To Friends we still talk and go out a few more times im still spending money on her suprising her with gifts , andpaying for cab rides for her just to come see me even though she lives hour and a half away from me just everything i could do to show her that i cared. But yet she still acts distant towards me and starts to tell me we should see what else is out there mind you she is the same person who told me she was falling inlove with me and introudced me to her family and all that and she tells me she wants to leave it on faith if it was ment to be it will be.. Obviously that wasnt music to my ears because im LOVE this girl and actually could see myself marrying her. Couple Weeks into being friends im still continuing to tell her i love her,she tells me she met some guy........ :mad: and shes hanging out by his house and all this stuff obviously it angered me and its like i cant even look at other females cause i just want her, she tells me that the connection that we have isnt there she doesnt feel it i asked her if she just looks at me like as friend shes like no but she doesnt kno what to call it, i asked her if there was a chance for us she said she doesnt know but she doesnt want me to put my life on hold for her (easier said then done) and to date if we were ment to be itll just happen. i wanna move on now but i feel so emotionally connected to this girl and its like something is telling me to keep trying to get her itll be worth it in the end and something else is telling me its a lost cause. I wanna initiate NC again but its so much harder this time :-( any what do you guys think?
itwontdawnsooner Posted December 20, 2005 Posted December 20, 2005 "i was doing EVERYTHING for this girl even down to delievering food to her house buying her gifts just doing everything spending every inch of time she had availble with her and still she breaks up with me because i wanted to hang out with her on halloween" theres a danger in doing everything for someone all the time and spending every ounce of time with them: 1) resentment - its possible someone will resent having no personal time anymore 2) taking for granted - it becomes an expectation that you will do these things, and instead of being appreciated it becomes expected, as if the other person is entitled to star treatment it wears out a relationship. that doesnt mean youre a bad guy or were bad or something, as hard as it is dont beat yourself up over should have/could have - you did the best you can but at this point, the way you describe it, you MUST do NC for the sake of your health and sanity dont live on false hope, just because you miss and love someone so badly doesnt mean theyre right for you - you MUST move on past this. talk here, vent, talk to friends, you can make it through!
Author LuVHuRtS Posted December 20, 2005 Author Posted December 20, 2005 Oh god im hurt....... she just wants to be friends i cant give that right now
Author LuVHuRtS Posted December 20, 2005 Author Posted December 20, 2005 Ok Well i sent her a text telling her that what she wants me to do i cant and that i wanna not talk to her for sometime so i can get use to life without her she responded telling me if thats what makes me happy then fine so im done. I will be reading these threads hopefully keep me from that crazy urge to call her but i wont no call is final if she wants to talk she will call me
itwontdawnsooner Posted December 20, 2005 Posted December 20, 2005 just because she offered "lets just be friends" doesnt mean you have to be comfortable with taking it, or that you should take it. denying and saying i cant give you that is a 100% valid, and damn good response. if you cant handle that, then its no good for you. stay away the urge to question, ask again, will come up - but believe me, please, more contact will hurt much more than holding back from contacting be kind to yourself, take it day by day, post here.
Author LuVHuRtS Posted December 20, 2005 Author Posted December 20, 2005 Yes, But Now I Have to start all over again dating, getting to kno someone and i didnt mention this but she was my first love i cant really see myself building relationship with girls. Im urged to get revenge which just sounds immature
Author LuVHuRtS Posted December 20, 2005 Author Posted December 20, 2005 a female and males point of view on this topic would be greatly appreciated
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