brave13 Posted December 20, 2005 Posted December 20, 2005 I have been with my bf for 3 months now... about the 2nd month i found out he is going through a divorce, his marriage only lasted 2 months. I decided to stick it out bc we were soo good together and in the state i am in you have to wait a year after the separation to get a divorce..its been about 11 months since they separated. He said he just married her for his daughter and was pressured to "appear" well by his parents. We both really care about each other, and he is soo good to me so i decided to stick it out. They have a daughter, who is adorable and loves me. His wife was dating other people since the separation, I am the first he has dated. SHe called him and wanted to get back together a couple of weeks ago and it really affected him he says bc of the child and he married her bc of the child in the first place. I told him to be friends with her for the little girl and they should get along. I would even like to be friends with her one day.He was rude and short to her in front of me but i told him he didnt have to be like that. He says he wants to marry me one day and i believe him bc our love is very strong. It is just hard to deal with him being married still and her calling, even though i know I stuck my foot in my mouth by telling him they should be friends but it is the right thing! I just have to get used to it. Well i guess i need advice on should i leave this relationship or stick it out? He says im the best thing to ever happen to him..and he makes me feel like ive never felt but i cant help feeling guilty.
Sami_D Posted December 20, 2005 Posted December 20, 2005 .. and how did you find out that he was still Married..?
Author brave13 Posted December 20, 2005 Author Posted December 20, 2005 well, he just called me today and told me he's gettin back together with his wife so i guess i was the stupid one..he tells me he still loves me and he pretty much knows it wont work with her but he has to try for the child..so ive been crying all day now..i just need to move on!
damwinston Posted December 20, 2005 Posted December 20, 2005 I am sorry you are hurting but know that it is probably for the best - just think what better people there are out there!!! Plus if he was unhappy before then he probably will be unhappy again and you won't have to put up with it - and please don't. He is not worth your time or energy. I know, easier said than done but try. dammy
scobro Posted December 20, 2005 Posted December 20, 2005 well, he just called me today and told me he's gettin back together with his wife so i guess i was the stupid one..he tells me he still loves me and he pretty much knows it wont work with her but he has to try for the child..so ive been crying all day now..i just need to move on! Oh damn that sucks!!! Wow ,he is a real idiot and seems real unstable the way he makes choices.In two or three moths from now when his relationship tanks with his wife DO NOT TAKE HIM BACK!!!!
JayKay Posted December 20, 2005 Posted December 20, 2005 He sounds like a flake. Sorry, but let's see; * He bailed after 2 months of marriage * He said he wanted to marry you. Now all of a sudden he's changed his tune? * He's getting back with her but telling you 'it probably won't work' anyway? This guy is a MESS. I'm sorry you're hurting. But he might have caused you a great deal more pain if you stayed with him for many years.
Author brave13 Posted December 21, 2005 Author Posted December 21, 2005 update..he called last night and says he made the biggest mistake of his life and wanted me back i went and talked to him but i think im going to say he needs time away from me and his wife to decide what he wants for sure! I know i should just let it go but its hard to! He said he didnt even touch her and all the people at his house told me the same..i just feel bad bc he just wants his daughter to live with him, bc now they live 3 hours away. HELP ME lol
sparticuss Posted December 23, 2005 Posted December 23, 2005 to throw your own words back at you Brave. (one of my common habits) He said he just married her for his daughter and was pressured to "appear" well by his parents. We both really care about each other, and he is soo good to me . He says he wants to marry me one day and i believe him bc our love is very strong. He says im the best thing to ever happen to him So! Brave. Here we are. There are two conrnerstones to any successful relatinship. Love and respect. He loves you. He wants to marry you because he loves you. He married her for appearences sake, and for his daughters sake. Not because he loved her. So I say stick with him. But thats where I've got a problem. If you are so shallow that you are even thinking of leaving him, or need to ask our advice, then you may not love him as much as you like to think. Thats where you have a problem
Author brave13 Posted December 24, 2005 Author Posted December 24, 2005 I dont understand how asking for advice is being shallow??? I just havent been through this type of situation before and i dont have children..i know in my heart what im going to do but its still nice to hear other peoples point of view on the matter..i LOVE him ..he loves me..i just hope its enough is all..but thank you for telling me theres hope ..ive already been hurt by him but atleast there is a chance of getting something amazing if i just try and trust him..and if it doesnt work out with him i will go through just as much pain as if i would end it now so why not try??
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