JS17 Posted December 20, 2005 Posted December 20, 2005 I tried it for one month. On match I met one guy who was married/girlfriend (not really sure which) and one guy who doesn't seem to talk but is still hounding me to go out. I find better guys on my own and through friends. I met one guy on myspace, we dated for a while and now HE WON'T GIVE ME MY STUFF BACK. Needless to say I'm not a big fan of online dating. However, one of my friends who I would never in a million years think would use internet dating met a guy who so far seems really great. 1
littlekitty Posted December 20, 2005 Posted December 20, 2005 OK. Any cheap sites? Match.com is ~ $45 to send anyone an e-mail... Probably not quite what your looking for, but free for the main part: www.faceparty.com It's pretty young in there.. but free and not bad. 1
flamingjune Posted December 20, 2005 Posted December 20, 2005 I've tried salon.com personals -- I think it shares a database with spring street personals/the onion, etc. Standard membership is free, but to actually email someone you have to buy credits at $10 per 2000, which isn't too bad. It's 200 credits per email. There's also more flexibility with the silver/gold memberships. Those start at about $18/month. Credits: 2000 Points: $10.00 5000 Points: $25.00 7000 Points: $35.00 8000 Points: $40.00
Author 2p worth Posted December 20, 2005 Author Posted December 20, 2005 I've tried salon.com personals -- I think it shares a database with spring street personals/the onion, etc. Standard membership is free, but to actually email someone you have to buy credits at $10 per 2000, which isn't too bad. It's 200 credits per email. There's also more flexibility with the silver/gold memberships. Those start at about $18/month. Credits: 2000 Points: $10.00 5000 Points: $25.00 7000 Points: $35.00 8000 Points: $40.00 Found it, had a brief look... Only 3 hits in my area and 2 of them didn't have photos...
Author 2p worth Posted December 20, 2005 Author Posted December 20, 2005 Probably not quite what your looking for, but free for the main part: www.faceparty.com It's pretty young in there.. but free and not bad. Looks alright, though many people on there are already in relationships, so I expect it would take some serious effort searching. Its also another one of those sites where to see past the 3rd page of search results you have to join up but, as its free... Any more?
Author 2p worth Posted December 20, 2005 Author Posted December 20, 2005 I tried it for one month. On match I met one guy who was married/girlfriend (not really sure which) and one guy who doesn't seem to talk but is still hounding me to go out. I find better guys on my own and through friends. I met one guy on myspace, we dated for a while and now HE WON'T GIVE ME MY STUFF BACK. Needless to say I'm not a big fan of online dating. However, one of my friends who I would never in a million years think would use internet dating met a guy who so far seems really great. JS, sounds like you've had a nightmare with online dating. Are you picking the right type's? One of my longer term ex's stole a CD of mine (I didn't loan it to her, she just took it - without the sleeve). As it was a rubbish CD anyway (one of those random puchases) - I felt she'd actually done me a favour.
JS17 Posted December 20, 2005 Posted December 20, 2005 JS, sounds like you've had a nightmare with online dating. Are you picking the right type's? I know I make poor choices. That's why I'm still here so that when I do you guys can stop me. I'm the first to admit I'm a complete dolt. I don't know how old you are but a lot of young people find bfs/gfs on myspace and friendster which are both free. I'm not sure that's where you would go to find a mature adult relationship but stranger things have happened.
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted December 21, 2005 Posted December 21, 2005 I've been chatting/meeting people online for 6 years. Since my separation a year ago I've dated 7 guys from the internet (in person). I've had the online relationships that stay online, someone becomes very special but you know deep down you will never meet. I've had the ones where you chat forever then finally meet and it's disappointing. I've had ones where we met almost right away...some of these were hot steamy affairs and others looked like they would turn into a relationship but "something" happened and they didn't work out...nothing different from a normal relationship where you met at a bar, or at work, or in the park or anywhere. The internet is a convenient way to meet people. I know people in their 40's still complaining because they haven't met the right person. Some complain because every function they go to has people who are already attached. Their friends try to set them up with someone but the only thing they have in common is being 40 and single. I spend too much time online. I am a busy person, but I procrastinate on my studying and housecleaning and am addicted to the computer (it comes in phases...it's almost gone for now). I do get out alot, I have a social life, it's not the bar scene, but I have yet to meet someone in person who would be interested in going on a date. I think it takes more than one meeting, and it hasn't happened where I've been with the same "single" people at more than one social function. Internet/Speed dating is just a good way to get the formalities out of the way and/or not waste any more time than necessary trying to find that person (or having that person find you).
Author 2p worth Posted December 22, 2005 Author Posted December 22, 2005 I've been chatting/meeting people online for 6 years. Since my separation a year ago I've dated 7 guys from the internet (in person). That's quite a few guys in a year! You must be good looking (or at least your photos must be). How many guys have you dated in the same time period - that were not from the net? I've had the online relationships that stay online, someone becomes very special but you know deep down you will never meet. I've had the ones where you chat forever then finally meet and it's disappointing. Is that a case of you knowing the guy will never want to meet you, or that you just don't like the guy enough to want to meet (in which case why not be honest and not lead the guy on)? If I do 'net dating (still pondering it & still trying to find cheap / free sites), I'm going to ask to meet asap, because I don't wish to waste time writing messages when I could be finding out about that person for real. In other words - if I don't like that person, I'd rather know sooner rather than after writing 50 e-mail's, wasting time, energy and probably sleep on someone I've never even met. Obviously the woman in question would have to learn enough about me to know I'm not some weirdo, otherwise there's no way she'd want to meet me anyway. Hmm, I'm being over-analytical, but, it's sounding tricky to strike a good balance. I've had ones where we met almost right away...some of these were hot steamy affairs and others looked like they would turn into a relationship but "something" happened and they didn't work out...nothing different from a normal relationship where you met at a bar, or at work, or in the park or anywhere. For these one's where you met almost right away, I'd probably guess that its not too different from meeting out somewhere, although what about the initial attraction factor? A photo is surely never as good as a first glance. The internet is a convenient way to meet people. I know people in their 40's still complaining because they haven't met the right person. Some complain because every function they go to has people who are already attached. Their friends try to set them up with someone but the only thing they have in common is being 40 and single. I spend too much time online. I am a busy person, but I procrastinate on my studying and housecleaning and am addicted to the computer (it comes in phases...it's almost gone for now). I do get out alot, I have a social life, it's not the bar scene, but I have yet to meet someone in person who would be interested in going on a date. I think it takes more than one meeting, and it hasn't happened where I've been with the same "single" people at more than one social function. MWC you scare me. Not because you sound like a scary person, but because I can identify with the kind of situation you have revealed (except I've just turned 30 and I do the bar / club scene). Frankly it feels like I'm not getting anywhere and that I'm concerned deep down that I won't. I've been told before by women that I'm gorgeous, that I'm intelligent, that I'm special, blah blah - all of that, yet here I am single and still haven't met the right person... Sure - I'm likely to date more women, yes - I think I'll sleep with more too, but as for finding the right person? I'm starting to believe it is just going to get more difficult as I get older, as more people my own age who are single will either be too cynical, or will have been through marriage AND divorce and well - will be too cynical or be too caught up in baggage to try again. In a way I'm still confident - because I believe I'll meet more women and I have time yet to have a family, but I don't know if I'd be happy spending the rest of my days alone. The funny thing is - the here and now doesn't look so bad, so why create dark clouds in my mind regarding the future? If that happens though, well, that's just life.
Outcast Posted December 22, 2005 Posted December 22, 2005 although what about the initial attraction factor? Much too much is made of this. It's just your biology, and it's not a good predictor of who'll be a good match. I've been initially and strongly attracted to people who would be total disasters as partners. I've also developed attraction over time to people who were great who may not at first have seemed to have that famous 'initial attraction' going on. Blind people marry without this whole 'initial attraction' idiocy and probably make much better matches as a result.
Author 2p worth Posted December 22, 2005 Author Posted December 22, 2005 As a side note, I've just read that back and don't like how some of it sounded... i.e. Pretty damn negative! I can be really positive and whatever happens, I know I have to keep that going. I have to keep going for it, keep trying and not give up. I have to do that for myself - nevermind that neither sex finds negativity or depression attractive. I'll get there!
Author 2p worth Posted December 22, 2005 Author Posted December 22, 2005 Blind people marry without this whole 'initial attraction' idiocy and probably make much better matches as a result. :lmao: Surely blind people can tell if someone's attractive by feeling their face? I'm sure a person with a really huge nose (think Roxanne / Steve Martin) would be unattractive - certainly at least when it came to kissing.
Outcast Posted December 22, 2005 Posted December 22, 2005 Ah but you know what they say about men with large noses?
Author 2p worth Posted December 22, 2005 Author Posted December 22, 2005 Ah but you know what they say about men with large noses? They make great swimmers?
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted December 22, 2005 Posted December 22, 2005 That's quite a few guys in a year! You must be good looking (or at least your photos must be). How many guys have you dated in the same time period - that were not from the net? I have only dated one that I didn't meet online. I knew him already and posted about him in another thread and it was bad news to begin with. Is that a case of you knowing the guy will never want to meet you, or that you just don't like the guy enough to want to meet (in which case why not be honest and not lead the guy on)? They were all over 500 miles away, that is why I knew we would never meet. One I talked to for over a year before I got a picture and it was a full blown emotional affair...we were in love blah blah. I was not disappointed when I saw his pic either. Looks aren't everything, and not the first thing I look at either. I am intimidated by extremely good looking men...and I consider myself attractive and have been told I am, but I know I'm not model material either. I don't care if the guy has hair or muscles. Certain features I find attractive, and some unique ones are just that...unique, not necessarily unattractive. They have to come across as confident and just the way they talk to me has to be appealing (and by now I can tell when it's bull). I certainly can pick out the ones who are just after sex....they are usually the ones who ask for my msn right off the first hello and then expect me to send them sexy pics of myself. NOT gonna happen.
Lonely nice guy Posted December 23, 2005 Posted December 23, 2005 Internet dating is all I have. I don't have a wide circle of friends, my job surrounds me with women, and at work I've met a few women and had relationships. But now, as I get older, the internet is all I have. But I'm not very successful. I use it off and on, and in nearly 4 years, I have met only three women in person whom I met online. I'll send out probably 10 smiles or messages for every reply, and then to get a few exhanges, I need to be lucky. I can tired off the repeated rejection, and not use it for a while. Then I go back to the internet. Perhaps I'll start a new thread, how to be more successful in internet dating?
Pendawn Posted December 23, 2005 Posted December 23, 2005 Have you tried Yahoo personals or The Guardian's personals if you are in the South of England? I tried Yahoo and there were loads of men in my area of Scotland.
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted December 23, 2005 Posted December 23, 2005 Have you tried Yahoo personals or The Guardian's personals if you are in the South of England? I tried Yahoo and there were loads of men in my area of Scotland. I don't think LonelyGuy is looking for a man. I actually think there are some threads on here as to what to put in and what not to put in your personal profile.
clandestinidad Posted December 23, 2005 Posted December 23, 2005 I've been on myspace for a year...I've met 3 or 4 people in person. I dont spend a lot of time on the site, but its pretty good I guess. Theres a lot of various types of people. Some straightlaced, some naughty....you can find anything you want there....and I'm sure with the 40-something million members there is bound to be a good match. I met a guy last week and he looked nothing like his pictures...kinda disappointing, but I'm glad I didnt invest very much conversation or depth into it before meeting him. He already deleted me from his list b/c I didnt respond to his phonecalls quickly enough....someone who's so sensitive to something like that is a red flag to me so I'm totally fine with it! haha Then there's a guy I've had on my friend list since last Feb ('05) and we've left comments for each other every couple months. I decided to email him something stupid, he took the bait, we've talked, and got together in person (after 10 months of casual, "hey whats up"s). He's amazing....has a lot of things I've really looked for, looks exactly like his pictures (was very happy I look like my pics!), etc....but currently has a girlfriend he's not sure about. Hopefully he'll break up w/ her so we can get to know each other further. Anyway, the point is, you can find anyone online. I like it b/c it doesnt restrict you to a certain geographic area, therefore expanding the possibilities!!! There are losers and winners everywhere. Whether you meet them online or in person is irrelevant. also, I think myspace is good b/c you can tell a lot about a person from what they say about themselves, their lists of interests, their intelligence and spelling abilities, what type of pictures they put up, and their friends...etc. I think you can find out more there than on a pre-set question/answer form like match, yahoo, and others b/c its all coming from THEM personally.
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