teethbrushes Posted December 20, 2005 Posted December 20, 2005 I just got a postcard from a family friend and learned that my childhood friend is now engaged. I'm attractive, smart, and know where I'm going in life. I've only ever had one proper boyfriend, but have had "things" with a lot of guys. My one proper boyfriend dumped me out of the blue because our relationship was getting very serious...he seemed to think I was heading down the aisle because I was the ripe old age of 20. I also was coming down with a disease and because of the lethargy associated with it, he walked before taking the time to find out that i was sick and never looked back. he got with another girl less than a month later (and dumped her too), although now that we're forced back in contact and in the same social circle, he's become slightly obsessed with me giving me mixed signals about what he wants. We were each other's first everything...but maybe I'm the only one who actually fell in love and he fell into infatuation even though he said he loved me first. He was the first guy to make me feel like I was attractive to guys. But I know I am because guys get these horrible crushes on me where they almost fall in love with me...and I think I like them for a while and then I get weirded out and dump them. Sometimes later I'll want them back but I never say anything. I got really close to a guy, almost boyfriend, over the summer and then dumped him. And I don't know what it is. I was single for 19 years before my ex and now its been a year since and I'm petrified I'll never even have a proper boyfriend again. For everyone else its so easy! I just have really high standards...but not in the looks department, I like really quirky looking guys....ugh. I'm just petrified I'll be the one who never gets married. A lot of people broke up the same time I did and everyone found new relationships...except me. And I knew I wouldn't and I don't know what it was about my ex that allowed me to open up to him. I'm just petrified that this is it!
Outcast Posted December 20, 2005 Posted December 20, 2005 You are far, far too young to be 'petrified' of being 'alone forever'. If you're 68 and still single, then maybe you should worry. Not before.
scobro Posted December 20, 2005 Posted December 20, 2005 I'm just petrified I'll be the one who never gets married. You ain't missing that much;) hehehehehe it isn't all it's cracked up to be
Author teethbrushes Posted December 20, 2005 Author Posted December 20, 2005 well maybe not, but i still want to get married and have kids!
JS17 Posted December 20, 2005 Posted December 20, 2005 I face the same fears and I have quite a few years on you. I don't think your fears are abnormal but they're also not exactly healthy. Your clock shouldn't start ticking for another couple of years.
Outcast Posted December 20, 2005 Posted December 20, 2005 You've got twenty years to have kids. Your entire lifetime thus far. Do not let your fears rush you into an ill-advised union. You have plenty of time!!!
Author teethbrushes Posted December 20, 2005 Author Posted December 20, 2005 i guess i just worry because all of my friends are in or have been in these 2-3 year relationships and my longest one at 21 was this 6 month one, albeit it was very intense. And even HE didn't have to wait long to find someone new.
Outcast Posted December 20, 2005 Posted December 20, 2005 Didn't your mom ever ask you 'if all your friends jumped off the bridge, would you jump off too?' ?? The stats say that people who are in their mid to late twenties when they marry have better chances of having their marriages last.
JS17 Posted December 20, 2005 Posted December 20, 2005 what do the stats say about those in their 30's Outcast?
Author teethbrushes Posted December 20, 2005 Author Posted December 20, 2005 well yeah, but I don;t necessarily think these people are getting married...I'm just saying. I mean hell my ex ditched his rebound after 3 months and is still in love with me, but that's not what matters. What I'm saying is, how/where does everyone find all of these people?! Like people will break it off with someone after 3 years and find someone else in a snap that they're "SOOOOO in love with!" I don't get it. And what's so wrong with me that at 21 i've only allowed one person in?
Outcast Posted December 20, 2005 Posted December 20, 2005 what do the stats say about those in their 30's Outcast? As far as I recall, the more life experience you have, the better it's supposed to bode. And what's so wrong with me that at 21 i've only allowed one person in? 'What everybody else does' isn't a rule. You don't need to worry what they do. Not following the herd doesn't make you 'wrong', it just makes you you. Do what's right for you. If you're not into serial dating or 'falling in love' every ten minutes, it seems sensible to me.
Painwraith Posted December 20, 2005 Posted December 20, 2005 aww you wont be alone! I am 27 and single again, I wanted kids by thirty and I doubt that will happen now, 35 maybe... heheh perhaps we should have a matchmaking board here, it seems we are all special people who are looking for love. Pain
scobro Posted December 20, 2005 Posted December 20, 2005 at 21 i've only allowed one person in? do you mean emotionally or literally which would be physically?
Recommended Posts