MIOSBORNE Posted December 19, 2005 Posted December 19, 2005 I finally found out the truth over the weekend. Wife forgot to turn off cell I guess. I heard it ring after she was asleep. The other guy left a voice message. I confronted her and she admitted to seing him since August. She says they have been out on dates and only hugged but I don't believe her. He is an ex that she broke up with in 1997 because he left to go to the military. She said she ran into him this past summer and it brought feelings back. Her and I have been together for seven years. She said she "cares" for him but stopped short of saying she loves him. She flat out told me she was not going to stop contact with him. She said this is why she originally wanted space because she wanted to see if things would work out with him. She said he has asked her and our daughter to move in with him and that he had a Lexus that he would give to her and that he also was considering asking them to move to Texas with him. Now she is moving two hours away with my daughter to live with her mother because she said she does not want to disrespect me. I just hate it took seven years of marriage and a child for her to figure out she still loves this man or has feelings for him. She said she was sorry for breaking up the family for him. I am in conlict and not sure if I want my daughter away for Christmas. Also, I don't want her family saying they have to take care of my child.
Art_Critic Posted December 19, 2005 Posted December 19, 2005 Sorry for what your going thru.. You need to see an attorney.. make sure that you get a legal seperation agreement in place. You can limit your daughter leaving the state this way and the agreement spells out who does/pays for what.. Get an attorney now !! You need legal advice and need to protect yourself and your assets from being siphoned off
lilmoma1973 Posted December 19, 2005 Posted December 19, 2005 I am so sorry that you found this out and i was kinda leaning toward that when you said in your other post that she wanted space.. I can't imagine what you are going through .. My h cheated on me but we wasn't married not even a yr and it was hard and thought i was going to die!! I went on and you will too !! H came back to me and if it is meant to be she will be back!!She may see that when you are out of the equation that he isn't what she wants .. Hang in there and i know now that the holidays are so near it will be hard just keep yourself occupied and don't stop living cause she left !! I didn't and i stopped phinning over him and went on and that's when he realized it!! Good luck and if you need someone to talk with pm me
lilmoma1973 Posted December 19, 2005 Posted December 19, 2005 Sorry for what your going thru.. You need to see an attorney.. make sure that you get a legal seperation agreement in place. You can limit your daughter leaving the state this way and the agreement spells out who does/pays for what.. Get an attorney now !! You need legal advice and need to protect yourself and your assets from being siphoned off Yeah definitely get some legal advice for your protection !! she might try to leave the state with her.. She could lose her for cheating with another adultry is taken lightly with marriage!!
EnigmaXOXO Posted December 19, 2005 Posted December 19, 2005 What Art_Critic says! Get an attorney ASAP. You can nail your wife not only for adultery…but for 'abandonment'. If you want custodianship of your daughter, you certainly have enough going in your favor. The courts do not always rule in the biological mother's favor. They actually prefer the child to remain in their primary residence so as not to uproot them from their stable environment and create additional stress to their emotional well-being. I think a lot of fathers lose their children because (for whatever reason) they don't try hard enough to present their case to the magistrate.
Author MIOSBORNE Posted December 19, 2005 Author Posted December 19, 2005 How could my wife and I separate while living under the same roof? The plan for her to move to Anniston fell through and she may be staying a little longer. I don't want her to have the best of both worlds though in the meantime.
Art_Critic Posted December 19, 2005 Posted December 19, 2005 You need to consult an attorney to weigh your legal options. You may not know this but right now with your wife being the way she is you are very vulernable. Please consult an attorney.. do not take what she says as truth at this point..
Author MIOSBORNE Posted December 19, 2005 Author Posted December 19, 2005 Art Critic I think you are correct and I need to face this even though it may get ugly. Things are already unfriendly I guess if she is seeing another man. I had just heard horror stories of divorces where attorneys are involved and intentionally cause hard feelings between spouses in order to be able to collect more attorney fees. An attorney of mine told me this. I had a close friend who is a family attorney but he lives in another state. I was wondering if I should document everything she tells me. She also gave me his name and address and I have cell phone records as well. I may use these if she tries to make things nasty.
EnigmaXOXO Posted December 19, 2005 Posted December 19, 2005 You really need the legal council of an attorney to inform you of your rights. Believe me, it will be well worth the consultation fee in the long run to get a good plan in order. Meanwhile, if it were 'me' … I'd tell my spouse that while I could not prevent them from leaving the residence, (or having an affair) I would not permit them to tuck my daughter under their arm and remove her from her rightful "home" to join her on this extra-marital "joy ride". It's not fair to the child. Nor is it 'legal' unless she can prove you are unfit and present some danger (or threat) to herself or your child. Meanwhile, try to gather conclusive evidence of the affair that you can use in your favor. And if she exits your marital home deliberately to pursue her interest in this other man, then nab her on abandonment/desertion and have the legal separation papers drafted up PRONTO. I'd also go so far as to change the locks on the house after consulting your attorney about the appropriate time to do this. Whatever you do, don't shoot your own foot while trying to protect yourself and your child. Please, get some legal advise! Fault Grounds for Divorce in Georgia Apply at the Time of Marriage 1. Partners closely related by blood or marriage 2. Mental incapacity 3. Impotency 4. Force, menace, duress or fraud in obtaining the marriage 5. Pregnancy of the wife (by another man) which was unknown to the husband Apply After Marriage 6. Adultery by either of the parties 7. Wilful and continued desertion by either of the parties for the term of one year 8. The sentence of either party to two or more years of prison for an offense involving moral turpitude (such as murder, involuntary manslaughter, rape, embezzlement) 9. Habitual intoxication; drunkenness 10. Cruel treatment 11. Incurable mental illness 12. Habitual drug addiction
Owl Posted December 19, 2005 Posted December 19, 2005 Mis- Go to marriagebuilders.com and read up on plan A and plan B. Read all the material they've got there, and join that forum board as well. You'll find that you really should get a lawyer, but at the same time it's probably not the best time to seperate (plan B). You need to do plan A first...you'll see what I mean. Have you exposed this affair to EVERYONE...her family, your family, your friends, etc??? Take a look over there...great steps on how to end an affair and even recover from it.
Art_Critic Posted December 19, 2005 Posted December 19, 2005 No divorce is nice and pleasant.. This is GOING TO get nasty.. another guy is involved and you are on the block to be taken for a ride if your not careful. Each state has it's own laws to whether or not her having a boyfriend matters. Ga is a no fault 31 day divorce state.. because you have a child it will not be uncontested.So a battle will ensue. Her having an affair doesn't matter in Ga.. ( Atl. is also where I live my divorce was about 5 yrs ago). But it can affect certain aspects of a divorce. Start documenting everything and get an attorney. If you don't get one now.. you will have to get one later.. because as soon as you blink she will have one.. The first visit is normally a no charge visit. It only takes a phone call and a couple of hrs to start taking the direction of this divorce into your hands.. Your married until the judge says so.. so you can always reconcile up until the final hour..
Kenyth Posted December 20, 2005 Posted December 20, 2005 Prepare for the worst. Get your finances in order (close joint accounts out, close credit accounts she has access to, etc.) See an attorney. Once you see one, boot her ass from the house (if it's yours). As soon as you have a plan of action, quit playing nicey-nice with her. She cheated and want's to do the moving, so you have the upper hand. Don't be afraid to use it while the opportunity presents itself. Read my other post so you can see what happens to nicey-nice guys.
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