sick of it Posted December 19, 2005 Posted December 19, 2005 As my name implies....im sick of feeling the way i do. as you know from earlier threads, its been about 7 months of me holding (5.5 year relationship) on to hope that she'll come back. and despite the beautiful, genuine, heartfelt things ive said to her, she bashed me, said hurtful things (admittedly out of spite) and hooked up with someone she got close with with while we were on our "break". shes currently still with hime (for about 3 months). its been 7 months, 3 of which i was strung along and led on. and this past month ive been NC. my feelings for her are still as strong and havent diminished in the least. i still find myself analyzing and planning perfect dates with her, hoping shell come back. i realized this morning that she never told me that her feelings have changed. that she doesnt love me anymore. she never said anything like that. she stopped saying i love you, but never said i dont love you. to be honest, she told me "ill always love you" "i'll always consider us a couple". things of that nature. she said that a few months ago. im wondering if hearing that, hearing i dont love you anymore, if that will finally release me. do i risk breaking NC to see if she'll say that. do i face the harsh reality? im moving away next month and was hoping to see her (maybe) before i left. i still love her. any thoughts?
scobro Posted December 19, 2005 Posted December 19, 2005 if that will finally release me. do i risk breaking NC to see if she'll say that. do i face the harsh reality? im moving away next month and was hoping to see her (maybe) before i left. i still love her. any thoughts? You are still holding on to false hope.why contact her only to get hurt again.You will just go backwards if you do this.If she still loved you or wanted you back she would let you know but that doesn't seem to be the case so why drag it out of her only for you to be hurt.Let her go and move on. 1
Author sick of it Posted December 19, 2005 Author Posted December 19, 2005 I know its false hope. believe me. maybe its because in the back of my mind i never heard those words and therefore i dont believe it. maybe its a mind trick thing. i honestly dont know. it could be the symbolic type thing of burning her picture. i know that if she loved me she would show me. i know that she probably doesnt...definitley doesnt. but i may need to just hear it. i dont know. i was fed so many lies this summer that my reality is a little messed up. i put all my trust into her and she betrayed it to make herself feel better...and believed her, still do i think. meanwhile, im left alone. im going to a therapist today and maybe ill ask if its possible that that is holding me back.
scobro Posted December 19, 2005 Posted December 19, 2005 i know that she probably doesnt...definitley doesnt. but i may need to just hear it. Why so you can get hurt.Thats like saying "I know that fire is hot but I need to stick my hand in it so I know its hot"You don't need to hear anything from her you need to eliminate everything to do with her from your life ,its the only way.
Zetter Posted December 19, 2005 Posted December 19, 2005 Sick, do not under any circumstance contact her. If she does say she doesn't love you, then great - confirmed suspicion. If she doesn't say it, you are going to do what i have done and that is waste 4 months of your life wondering why you aren't together, what went wrong, etc. And oh by the way, if she does happen to say she loves you, it doesn't matter, it may not be true (she may say it just to spare your feelings), or she could change her mind tomorrow. You don't need to hear anything from her. I'm a perfect case in point. My ex "loves me" but doesn't want to "be with me." A nice little paradox that will screw with you for a long time. Try instead to think of the great times you two had at the beginning of your relationship during the romantic period, and know that the same feelings lie ahead for you with someone else.
itwontdawnsooner Posted December 19, 2005 Posted December 19, 2005 i agree with zetter. people do say things that end up being so confusing. i think most people try to avoid hurting feelings, and most of the time can't pinpoint what they want or how they want it - this leads people in these very emotional situations to say things they don't mean. the "turn on a dime" thing always bugged me, love you love you one minute, dont the next. just means what people say and feel can be two very different things. closure comes from YOU. and you only you dont need her explaination, her lack of a real explaination IS one
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