annmlittle2000 Posted December 19, 2005 Posted December 19, 2005 Me and my boyfriend have been dating on and off for 3 years now, and i have to admit that i have done a lot of wrong to him. to start off i am a very jelous person and he has a lot of girlfriends and i mean alot of friends that are girls that call him up and talk to him. and it drives me insane, maybe its because i have been cheated on before and am trying to prevent it from happining again i don't know. Well i got so jelous that i went snooping through his **** and he found out about it and was furious,because he said i invaded his privacy, ( by the way found nothing). well when we broke up the first time i was so hurt that i just wanted to make the hurt go away so i started hanging out with a guy friend and we ended up messing around, and then me and my boyfriend got back together for another year and we broke up again because i got mad at him for one reason or another and low and behold i just wanted to make the hurt go away and i slept with another person. My boyfriend came back crawling and begged and pleaded me to tell the truth, about the guys and i lied for one reason or another i did. Mainly i think i didn't want to hurt him and i didn't want to realize what a crappy person i was, I did the very thing to him that i swore i would never do to anyone. He eventually found out about it one way or another and still wanted to be with me but told me i had to quit drinking with my friends, well that was find and dandy for a few days until he went out drinking with his friends and i got jelous and told him if he could drink then i could to. he eventually told me he could no longer tell me he loves me because he doesn't trust me and love is nothing with out trust. and that if i really cared for him i would not have done it twice and then lied to him. The problem is, is that i really do care about him i just screwed it up, i love this man and i don't know how to show him. i don't know i guess i am just as bad as the rest. he feels i cheated on him and i guess i did because we were still talking to each other everyday. we are still trying to make it work but he says he want to concentrate on it more in january, because he is just so tired of all the fighting. i guess what i am asking is how do i show some one that i ripped there heart out that i care and i am sorry.
Outcast Posted December 19, 2005 Posted December 19, 2005 You need to spend some time alone and do some growing. The problem is, is that i really do care about him i just screwed it up Sorry but that doesn't cut it. You don't love him enough to really change; he's quite right in concluding that you don't care. You can't mistreat a person all the time and always expect to be forgiven.
Author annmlittle2000 Posted December 19, 2005 Author Posted December 19, 2005 the problem is i do want to change i just don't know how. i never set out to intentially hurt him i have just never hurt so bad when we broke up and i wanted it to go away
Outcast Posted December 19, 2005 Posted December 19, 2005 You start by not reacting emotionally and trying to 'get' people back when you don't like what they do. You especially don't go around sleeping with people every time you're in a snit.
J dub Posted December 19, 2005 Posted December 19, 2005 >and that if i really cared for him i would not have done it twice and then lied to him. hate to say it, but he was right. You acted very inappropriately and I'm afraid whats done is done.
Author annmlittle2000 Posted December 19, 2005 Author Posted December 19, 2005 ok look there is no question what i did was wrong. but in the same sense the first time we broke up we were broken up for about 9 months, still hung out occasioally but broken up, i wanted back together he did not, well he got a girlfriend and they didn't sleep together, but he was still seeing someone else. i was laying in his arms one night when she called and he went in to the bathroom to talk to her, i have not thrown this in his face until he throws the fact of what i did in his face because we were broken up just like we were broken up when i did what i did. i do love this man and we are still together, yes we fight, and i want to work things out i just want to help him get past all of the hurt i want to be able to have be able to build up that trust again, but i hate the fact that he goes out to the bars all the time and he has a lot of friends that are girls, it makes me very insecure, and he says i can't have guy friends because the last one that was my guy friend i slept with. but these girls call quite often and want to hang out with him, and he says well they call me i don't call them, and he would like me to trust him enough to hang out with them occasioally, but i feel that he should tell them hey my gf is uncomfortable and that be that. most of these girls have a crush on him and i don't like the fact that he puts himself in the situatuion for something to happen. i don't know maybe we just need space from each other. i want to make us work i feel like the most horrible person in the world right now, and i don't know if we can get past this or do we need to just move on. i mean this is a lot to overcome.
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