meltwithme Posted December 18, 2005 Posted December 18, 2005 Hello ladies, I’ve read all over the place that being a pushover for a girl is a real turn off. That a woman needs a man who is a “challenge”. I can’t grasp this concept, a relationship is basically admitting that you want to be with this one person, so how is it even possible to be challenging to a significant other when you both know you already have each other and that’s what you both want, a guy cant really play hard to get when he's already involved. Also, what’s so unattractive about wanting to do everything possible for someone? What’s so wrong with a guy who does put you on a pedestal and thinks you’re wonderful just the way you are? I personally think I would like a girl that thought I was this great. What is it that a woman finds unattractive about a guy totally into her? On the other hand, if a guy is too much of a challenge then he can be called a jerk because he doesn’t cater to her needs when she wants someone to be there. Help me out, how can I be more of a "challenge" in a relationship without being a jerk?
Barby Posted December 18, 2005 Posted December 18, 2005 I would say that being a challenge without being a push over is kind of a catch22 because if you go to much either way it can come across wrong. If a guy comes across as doing "everything" for a girl it can come across as controlling or smothering. Like he feels inadequate so he does all these superficial things to compensate. Though it probably isn't the case all of the time, it can come across this way. Now as what to do.........that would depend on the girl. You have to feel it out for yourself and don't listen to all the hype that everyone is whispering in your ear, if you're in a relationship and it feels like it's going well...don't stress you'll know if it's going well or not. But if you're planning ahead for a future one, don't!!! Play it as it goes, be sincere, honest, and open and I don't think above that there's much you can do to assure success and there are no "set" rules of what women like and don't.
whichwayisup Posted December 18, 2005 Posted December 18, 2005 The key is to find a balance. We all want someone who loves us, needs us, wants us, desires us. But I disagree with putting someone on a pedestal because noone is perfect. It's hard to live up to that reputation too. I know I wouldn't want ANYBODY thinking I'm that way! And I don't want to do that to anybody else. Puts unnecessary pressure out there and makes life hard to live up to. It's great to give and help, do things for eachother, but if it is done TOO much, it becomes one sided and can make the other person abit selfish. IN my experience, anyway. I am not speaking on behalf of anybody else. Relying on someone too much makes you more dependant on them and it's too easy to lose yourself and who you are. Just go with the flow, enjoy eachother for who you each are and what you each bring into the relationship.
riobikini Posted December 18, 2005 Posted December 18, 2005 I agree with the jest of the postings already here...it's like trying to cook something...if the pan isn't hot enough, it stays uncooked...if it's too hot, you just burn it.....the job gets done only if it's the right tempersture. Look out for partners who want either one of the extremes.....they don't know the first thing about really cooking. (Smile) Take care. -Rio
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